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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Going to bed at 8:30 on holiday

552 replies

Sharingshared · 26/08/2024 20:49

On holiday with DH & kids.
I have turned in at 8:30 after a great day at the beach. DH was planning on going to the lounge area to seeing what's going on, with eldest DC, aged 10.
Ive asked him to stay in the hotel room because I don't see the point of going out at this time. DH has agreed, although it took some convincing. He said I was being strange. Am I?

OP posts:
CrowleyKitten · 27/08/2024 23:30

it's fine if you're tired, and want an early night (very early) travelling can do that to you.
but if everyone else is still alert, it's not fair to expect them to stay in the rooms and be quiet because you're trying to sleep.
there's no reason they shouldn't go out and have some fun until they're ready for bedtime.

LoveLifeBeHappy · 27/08/2024 23:32

I can’t believe your DH agreed. How selfish of you…

If this was the other way around, the usual lot would be saying what a bastard.

Jeannie88 · 27/08/2024 23:48

That's very early, especially for a holiday. I'm a night owl and would want to do this as well and if DH wanted to, I would have no problem with it. Just let each other do what they want on holiday? Xx

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 28/08/2024 00:28

Blondiebeachbabe · 27/08/2024 09:45

Yeah, I find this totally bizarre. Who on earth goes to bed at 830pm on holiday? Surely you have your beach day, get back to the room for about 6pm, get showered and into nice clothes, go for dinner, then move on to drinks/dancing/show, whatever, and maybe turn in at midnight. I would be concerned as to why you are so tired?

Wouldn't be uncommon for us.

Busy day, cocktails from afternoon onwards, big meal with more drinks, retire to bed early for lots of sex, up with the sparrows to enjoy the peacefulness of early morning and get some exercise in before it's too hot.

I like my way better :)

Bumcake · 28/08/2024 08:16

Debzyrobinson · 27/08/2024 21:25

I suppose it because you was on holiday
and I know you've probably got them in a routine, but at least they will remember there holiday.

Got who in a routine? We’re talking about an adult man, not a baby.

Justkeeprollingalong · 28/08/2024 08:44

No wonder it takes you ages to get to sleep if you are going to bed at 8.30. You can't be tired then unless you wake up super early and have a strenuous day.

Try going to bed later at a normal adult bedtime when you should be tired enough to go to sleep fairly quickly. 💤

likethislikethat · 28/08/2024 09:11

My mother wanted to have some relaxation in the bar in a hotel based holiday decades ago but my father was one to be in bed early, happy with a TV and not sociable.

He ruined most things.

catmum44 · 28/08/2024 10:09

Do you go to bed at 8.30 pm at home and expect them to? Are you tired or just being moody by wanting to turn in? Is entertainment being put on in the lounge that they will miss because of you? Sorry but it seems that you are being dictatorial in spoiling their fun.

KarenandFour · 28/08/2024 10:11

Yabu. 8.30 on holiday is the middle of the afternoon lol let them do their own thing. Your dh is a grown man I’m sure they’ll be quite safe

Macaroni46 · 28/08/2024 10:16

likethislikethat · 28/08/2024 09:11

My mother wanted to have some relaxation in the bar in a hotel based holiday decades ago but my father was one to be in bed early, happy with a TV and not sociable.

He ruined most things.

This ^

You sound like fun-sponge OP. Fine, go to bed at 8.30pm if you must (which is ridiculously early for holiday in my opinion), but don't impose such a dull evening on everyone else. Going out of an evening is one of the best bits of being on holiday! Plus what harm can they possibly get into? I just don't get where you're coming from.

Goodtogossip · 28/08/2024 11:12

Not so much strange but definitely selfish. Why does your DH & DC have to stay in the room just because you want to go to bed early? It's not like your child is a toddler who would be settling down for the night. They're 10 years old, on holiday & you want them in the room with you rather than enjoying a night of entertainment with their Dad.

Bumcake · 28/08/2024 11:14

Why are people still responding to this as if it hasn’t been resolved?

MaltipooMama · 28/08/2024 14:43

Bumcake · 28/08/2024 11:14

Why are people still responding to this as if it hasn’t been resolved?

Because people annoyingly don't bother to read the OP's update 🙄

mamaandbabas · 28/08/2024 17:23

Toddlers stay up later than 8.30pm on holiday😬why did you need DH and DC to stay with you, were you being a kill joy?

Gogogo12345 · 29/08/2024 06:58

Sharingshared · 27/08/2024 09:47

I normally go to bed at 8:30 as it takes an age for me to sleep. I was feeling tired and went to sleep early. I regret asking DH DC to stay behind. I won't be doing that again

Show quote history

May be if you didnt go to bed so bloody early to may not be lying there taking ages to go to sleep. If I trying go to bed at 10.30 for Example I spend hours tossing and turning unable to sleep. Go at midnight and far more likely to fall asleep quickly

RampantIvy · 29/08/2024 07:21

likethislikethat · 28/08/2024 09:11

My mother wanted to have some relaxation in the bar in a hotel based holiday decades ago but my father was one to be in bed early, happy with a TV and not sociable.

He ruined most things.

DH is like that. Once he has eaten he just wants to sit in the hotel room and read.

Cas112 · 29/08/2024 07:51

This is so odd

Why can't he go?

Julia3703 · 29/08/2024 13:10

What’s a reverse?

RichmondReader · 29/08/2024 14:11

Julia3703 · 29/08/2024 13:10

What’s a reverse?

A reverse is when someone posts about a situation but implies they are 'one' party, when in fact they are the 'other'. It's done in order to garner a fairer perspective, but sometimes the 'reverse' is so obvious (as the poster seems to unreasonable) that it's quickly picked up on.

Example:

"I will only eat tomatoes and lobster. I think it's only fair that my family don't eat any other foodstuff in front of me as I feel left out. I am not allergic to other food but choose to only eat tomato and lobster. Tonight DH ate olives in front of me so I have told him to pack his things and leave. AIBU?"

In this case, OP is actually the DH but posting as the DW in order to emphasise (perhaps later to real DW) how unreasonable they are.

Not sure if I've explained it very well!

Cosyblankets · 29/08/2024 14:14

You don't see the point in going out?
You're not the one going out so that's totally irrelevant
You stay in if you want to nothing wrong with that.
But if he wants to go then he goes.

MzPixie · 29/08/2024 14:14

Yes your unreasonable they should have been able to go out without you if you was to tired to go out that's fine but why stop them ? Very unfair in my opinion

Maninpeace · 31/08/2024 20:45

Yeah yabu. What’s wrong with going to see what’s going on? You might have fun

Rebeldiamond1 · 31/08/2024 21:34

Yeah totally odd and unreasonable. If you want to go to bed fine. Im knackered in the heat on hol. But Id never stop my husband and kids going out within hotel. And I think you already know this is weird and controlling

Lalalalalalalalalalaoohoohwee · 31/08/2024 22:50

This is so strange, why wouldn't you want your husband and child to enjoy their holiday?

DeftSwan · 01/09/2024 10:28

I bet this a reverse and....my hunch is the wife was tipsy from drinks by the pool/beach all day and motivation to take the 10yo to lounge was more drinks. Husband didn't want to start a row by calling her out on it because it's holiday. He figures not a huge deal that she's a little tipsy but doesn't want her drunk in the lounge with the 10yo. I have seen this exact scenario play out soooooo many times.

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