Going to bed at 8:30 on holiday

[Sharingshared]

On holiday with DH & kids.
I have turned in at 8:30 after a great day at the beach. DH was planning on going to the lounge area to seeing what's going on, with eldest DC, aged 10.
Ive asked him to stay in the hotel room because I don't see the point of going out at this time. DH has agreed, although it took some convincing. He said I was being strange. Am I?

And? He's a grown man? You have no right to stop him having a wander to explore.

Reverse or not, it's weirdly controlling.

I had an early night with my book and DH and DS went out.

Really don't see why it's a big deal, we all spend time together but also do our own thing as well and let each other know out of respect rather than seeking permission

If it takes you ages to go to sleep, maybe you’re just going to bed too early. If I went to bed at 8.30 it would take me 3 hours to go to sleep, if I went to bed at 11.30 it would take me 5 mins.

What about your DH? Is he going to be allowed to enjoy his holiday too?

I'm just going to repeat what I said earlier in the thread, which is that you need to seek professional help. For your DH's sake as much as for your own.

Is this a reverse?

because I can't for the life of me see why you would waste a holiday and be such a killjoy to others... its not even a question that needs asking, its obvious unreasonable to force on others.

I thought before opening this was going to either be:

A) I'm on holiday with friend/sister/mam/partner/kid and they wont leave the room after 8.30 every night. I don't know anyone else and we came together for that reason but now I have to go out alone or stay in.

B) I'm not very well with food poisoning etc... so needed to lie down. I told the others to enjoy their night but DH is mad at me now for being ill.

But just insisting no one else can go out after 8.30 because you don't want to is really out of line.

Bizarre. Did they have to keep watch by your bed?

It likely takes you ages to sleep because you go to bed at 8.30 lol.

You wouldn't eat for hours when your not hungry would you, same with sleep. My toddler goes to bed at 8.30, its not really a normal adult bed time to lie down and try and force sleep.

No, nothing like that. Although, he does like to wandering around.

Isn't that part of going on holiday?

YANBU for wanting to go to bed at whatever time you choose.
YABU for expecting DH and DC to stay in the room too. Unless there a backstory of DH being irresponsible or incapable of caring for DC, there's nothing wrong with them going down to the lounge or a stroll outside.

Don't understand why he can't go to the lounge while you chill in the room.

Are you joined at the hip? I know some couples are but I'd hate this

Fair point.

You have taken the feedback really well @Sharingshared . Most people would have abandoned thread by now!

@Sharingshared

youre missing out going to bed so early on holiday op!

pop a Pro plus or something and get yourself out there! 😀

Why go to bed at 8.30 if it takes you ages to get to sleep? You're obviously not ready to go to bed if you aren't going to sleep for a couple of hours.

I go to bed early but even I don't go to bed at 8.30 whilst on holiday. Maybe 8.30 in the morning but not at night.

Your updates do not make this any better OP 🤦‍♀️

Surely you can see that your (frankly weird!) habits are absurd for an adult! Going to bed at 8.30 is PRECISELY the reason that it's taking you ages to go to sleep! Your Jay Slater and Michael Mosley fears are honestly quite ridiculous 🤷‍♀️

You really should think about getting some support for your anxieties and stop foisting them onto your poor family!

”at this time”? It was probably still light!

OP I’m glad you didn’t stop them going out. I think you’re one of these people that finds “abroad” scary.

If you go to bed at 8.30 and it takes an age to get to sleep, perhaps you are going to bed too early.

People's ability to risk assess situations is depressingly poor

@Sharingshared

https://thesleepcharity.org.uk/

I'm sorry that some posters are giving you a hard time .
It can't be pleasant feeling as anxious as you do all the time .And it must be hard for your family as well.
I think you need to find ways to manage the anxiety,have you ever spoken to a professional ,GP,counsellor etc about it ?

Perhaps the pile-on could stop now? OP has taken points on board.

Agree most people with anxiety do not require a GP visit (I am very anxious in all social situations and have not visited a GP. I have had private counselling sessions but not seen a GP - point is l, I’ve sought help and can overcome my anxiety to function and not affect other people i.e. my children. They always mention I take too long on the school run due to stopping and talking to others despite my high anxiety levels).
98% of voters suggest the OP’s anxiety is not normal thus should seek help. It’s really not ok that the OP’s anxiety is affecting their family life

I mean, Jay Slater and Michael Mosley didn't die by going down to the lounge in their hotel for a drink but ok....

God forbid!!!!! I like to "wander around" on holiday too. It's called sightseeing and taking in the local area and culture. Jesus your poor husband...

Yes, but most people wouldn't sleep if they went to bed at 830pm. That is literally a child's bed time. If I went to bed at 830pm, I would stare at the ceiling for hours. Have you tried going to bed at 11pm? How do you have any social life?