Going to bed at 8:30 on holiday

[Sharingshared]

On holiday with DH & kids.
I have turned in at 8:30 after a great day at the beach. DH was planning on going to the lounge area to seeing what's going on, with eldest DC, aged 10.
Ive asked him to stay in the hotel room because I don't see the point of going out at this time. DH has agreed, although it took some convincing. He said I was being strange. Am I?

Rubbish, you are controlling.

Also if my partner told me I couldn't go somewhere before grudgingly relenting they would not be my partner for much longer.

If you're terrified of the place you're in, you should have just stayed at home. 8:30 is a ridiculous bedtime for an adult.

Well, if you want to go to bed that's fine but don't expect that everyone else will want to fall in with this. Having a rest is OK but curtailing everyone else's enjoyment is rather selfish.

You’re controlling and selfish. If you wanted to go to bed and your husband wanted to go out without your 10 year old, maybe but he was going to take him to the lounge area too?! Also you say “strange city” - a lounge area in a hotel that you’re staying in is hardly going to the ghetto

YANBU to go to bed whenever you want. That’s one of the perks of adulthood.

However, you must know that your bedtime is earlier than most other people choose, and it does seem really controlling to want your DH and DC to sit in the hotel room.

I think a visit to GP when you get home to discuss anxiety could be beneficial. I hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Nothing wrong with DH doing that while you go to bed, don’t see the issue.

You should stop projecting YOUR fears onto your child… because your kid will pick up on this stress… let them enjoy their time away like you have today.

Sure. But you're trying to impose your own niche way of living on other family members and actually have to be told by the internets that you're being unreasonable and controlling.

What's strange about the city anyway?

Going to bed on holiday or in fact any night would be my worst nightmare.
For me evenings is when I am in my best mood and enjoy the entertainment/ atmosphere esp in hot countries/ sunset/ vibes/ people watching. Less hot. Music relaxing.

Can't see the point in going out at 8.30?! The point?! Well, erm it's called going out for the evening! We don't go out until 8.30pm anyway on holiday especially after a busy day, back in at 5pm, have an hours nanna nap, get ready and out we go! Always done it even with a 3 month old baby!

Yabu. It's not just your holiday.

Your DH abd DC should be able to enjoy their days to the full without you imposing curfews because you want to.

1. There are still loads of people saying “controlling” etc. when she’s already accepted earlier feedback. Really annoying. And the “this is a reverse” trolls! By OP’s second post there was no doubt at all she wasn’t for real.
2. The PP who pretend they don’t know “strange” means “unfamiliar” and insist on asking why the city is “weird” are being curiously disingenuous. Everyone knows what “strange city” means.
3. Nobody asked about the younger child. Presumably OP had to look after them by herself if they weren’t joining husband and DC10.
4. OP may be from a non-western cultural background as her English sometimes seems non-native, and she may be unfamiliar with uk holiday expectations.

This is so weird!
The Dr and Jay were both different stories but on their own wandering in the extreme weather. Why would you son and DH end up doing this?! Sounds like they were checking out the entertainment and didn’t want to go to sleep!

It is controlling behavior, good on OP accepting that and modifying her future behaviors but it doesn't change the fact that it is.

People assume its a reverse because its so bloody obvious it doesn't need asking.

Ironic you say OP may be non western as her English sounds non native and then slag someone of for taking an unusual idiom at the word literally and questioning it. Its like you have no awareness.

Woman looks after own child... shock horror??? not really sure the point of that.

People in non western cultures are far more likely to be use to men and boys going off alone, many 'traditionalist' 'non western' cultures women would dare tell a men what he can and can't do. That is really not a 'British' thing at all.

Selfish and controlling!

Yes.

Pretty selfish to stop DH and DC go out if they wanted to!

What's a reverse post?

The op has said she changed her mind and they went out and she isn't going to try and stop them again. She can't help feeling nervous but she realised it was unreasonable to make them stay in. No doubt she will go out with them in the evening now, and maybe even enjoy herself.

I wonder what country or city this holiday is in.

Lol that family sound like massive freaks.
What the hell do they do at 4am? Other than making friends with all the spiders and creepy insects. Watch the test card on TV?

Jesus. How patronising and controlling treating your husband like a child as you’re worried he’ll leave the hotel.

I suppose it because you was on holiday
and I know you've probably got them in a routine, but at least they will remember there holiday.

So you’re tired and have gone to bed but everyone else has to do the same???? You’re on holiday- the evenings are fab on holiday, why on earth should everyone else miss out because ‘you don’t see the point’ of them having a fun time???? Seriously weird

Nicky, the op has said that she is not going to do that again, indeed she relented the first time. She knows she was unreasonable but we can't always help how we feel.