Going to bed at 8:30 on holiday

[Sharingshared]

On holiday with DH & kids.
I have turned in at 8:30 after a great day at the beach. DH was planning on going to the lounge area to seeing what's going on, with eldest DC, aged 10.
Ive asked him to stay in the hotel room because I don't see the point of going out at this time. DH has agreed, although it took some convincing. He said I was being strange. Am I?

It is not unreasonable to worry OP - as I said earlier in the thread, I am medicated for anxiety and I suffer horribly from intrusive thoughts. I would probably also worry about this after the recent disappearances.

But it’s important to ensure you don’t become controlling over this and allow your worries to affect others’ lives. Since having my son this is something I struggle with and am trying to work on, through medication and counselling.

Realistically, your husband most likely wouldn’t take your son into a remote area where he could fall (like Jay) and he also wouldn’t take him on a rocky walk in the midday heat without sufficient supplies (like the doctor).

I would recommend getting some help - could you see the GP when you are home?

I call this a ‘grenade post.’ They throw in a one liner and everyone goes into a frenzy.

I think we should wait and get more information before commenting any more.

Those are different circumstances though- MM was walking alone and off the beaten track. He wasn’t in a hotel lounge.

These things don't just happen on holiday, people fall and get injured at home too. You can't stop people living their lives for fear of having an accident.

Try to relax and enjoy the holiday, if you continue worrying and catastrophising, you will spoil it for all 3 of you.

Michael Mosely was walking alone in the strongest heat of the day and Jay Slater was allegedly still under the influence of drugs and alcohol when he decided to start walking through the mountains. None of these factors applied to your DP at 8:30pm last night.

Well, unless there’s going to be a massive drip feed about her DHs penchant for all night raves and pill popping.

Yeah, I find this totally bizarre. Who on earth goes to bed at 830pm on holiday? Surely you have your beach day, get back to the room for about 6pm, get showered and into nice clothes, go for dinner, then move on to drinks/dancing/show, whatever, and maybe turn in at midnight. I would be concerned as to why you are so tired?

Thanks. I will enjoy the rest of the holiday .

I normally go to bed at 8:30 as it takes an age for me to sleep. I was feeling tired and went to sleep early. I regret asking DH DC to stay behind. I won't be doing that again

Everyone has their own way of living.

No, nothing like that. Although, he does like to wandering around.

I can't make it to midnight. I am awake before 6am every day, no matter what I do. My body just wakes me up then. So by about 9pm I'm knackered because I rarely stop.

I will push through if there's something I really want to do, or DH really wants to do, or something important to family etc. But even if I don't go to bed til 12/1, come 530-6am I'm awake.

So the early night isn't bizarre to me. But controlling where the awake people can go is.

I think it's nice for DH to go out with the ten year old.
Discuss coming home at an hour to suit ten year old having enough sleep to enjoy the following day.

They will be able to inform you on unexpected adventures.

Why won't you say where you are?

I’d love to have heard that conversation.

yes I know we are all different but I amazed at how other people live sometimes.

if I said to my 8 year old to go to bed at 8.30 on holidays, she would laugh at me. My teenagers and husband would just not do it. Not even for one night. I’m amazed you have this much control over them.

I really hope you enjoy the rest of the holiday now though, all the best x

At least you recognise you were overthinking and aren’t going to try and stop them going out again.

If you say where you are people can hopefully reassure you going forward.

If you're somewhere you can buy melatonin in a pharmacy, try going out and enjoying yourself tonight and then taking a melatonin when you get back to the hotel.

Considering the overwhelming odds that OP was being unreasonable, kudos @Sharingshared for coming back and explaining.
Hope your mind is at rest knowing they went out and got back safely, and can enjoy the rest of the holiday.

(I got stressed out on holiday because our room in a cottage, had a non opening roof lantern, and no other windows and I got panicky about how we would get out in the event of a fire after we had been there at least 4 days)

Surely 'wandering about' is part of visiting somewhere new?

You must be able to see that your choice of going to bed at 8:30 and not wanting to experience your destination beyond the beach during the day is weird?

Of course it's a 'strange' city - you're on holiday. Everywhere is strange - that's the point. In the nicest possible way OP, you are being ridiculous and selfish. I would even go so far as to say that whilst you might be tired and wanting to go to bed at 8:30, you should make an effort - at least for a couple of nights - to spend some time with your family in the evening and perhaps go to bed at 10:30?

I think you are out of order, it is Their holiday too, and I'm sure your child would have loved an evening out with his Dad, isn't that the point of holidays, to do things differently from at home. You could have had your early night still and they could have had fun.

I'm glad you've changed your thoughts and behaviour around this particularly incident

However I'm genuinely surprised your DH listened to you and stayed behind - if my DH had asked me not to leave the hotel room after 8.30pm I'd think he'd lost the plot and would totally ignore him.

Do you often make requests like that?

If it takes you an age to sleep you might as well go to bed later while you’re on holiday. Why be in bed for two hours awake on holiday when you could be with your family? It’s a holiday, you don’t need to go to work the following day.?

Well I hope your DD had a lovely time with her dad. It would be a shame if her memories of her childhood holidays is sitting in a quiet hotel room while her mum sleeps

Jay Slater fell to his death in treacherous terrain trying to do a ten-hour walk back to his accommodation after missing a bus. Michael Mosely collapsed after taking a wrong turn on a walk in very hot conditions, and might have survived if he’d happened to do so somewhere where he was visible to passers-by.

I really fail to see why these deaths are fuelling your anxiety about your DH and a ten year old going down to the hotel lounge because they don’t want to sit in a hotel room while you sleep.

And you'd do well to remember that!