Going to bed at 8:30 on holiday

[Sharingshared]

On holiday with DH & kids.
I have turned in at 8:30 after a great day at the beach. DH was planning on going to the lounge area to seeing what's going on, with eldest DC, aged 10.
Ive asked him to stay in the hotel room because I don't see the point of going out at this time. DH has agreed, although it took some convincing. He said I was being strange. Am I?

To be fair, I usually go to bed at about 8.30-9.30. That's the time I'm tired.

Do what you like, but unreasonable to impose that on others.

That's fine. But do you make everyone else go to bed at the same time as you?

Absolutely not. Upthread, I also disagreed with OP and advised she seek some help for her anxiety.

Ive asked him to stay in the hotel room because I don't see the point of going out at this time. DH has agreed, although it took some convincing. He said I was being strange. Am I?

You did what now? 😳😏🙄😌

How controlling.

Sorry I wasn't have a go! And I completely agree that people can go to bed at whatever time they want - whether that be 7pm or 2am 😊

But to tell another adult that they can't go out because they're going to bed is extremely weird and controlling...

100% agreed!

I feel dreadfully bad for OP. I've suffered from debilitating anxiety in the past and I very much wished I could keep everyone inside the house in response to the overblown threats my mind perceived everywhere. It's such a shit way to live, being fearful all the time.

But when you're letting it impact on others, that's when it becomes unacceptable in my mind.

Is this your first time abroad @Sharingshared?

I can relate to that too. My anxiety over my kids (who are now grown) has driven me up the wall sometimes. I know in this situation I would have got dressed and gone with them. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway if I was worried so I may as well join them.

I've read through and confirmed this isn't a reverse.

Poor DH and DD.

Op Anxiety untreated can destroy lives. Please get help this is no where near normal. You will push away your dh and children if you continue this way. Your child in a few more years will be away from you more and more. Natural part of growing up. You can't go on this way.

YABU you mention that you worry. That’s code for some level of an anxiety disorder and that is leading to you being unreasonably controlling here. You say it’s a strange city and you were worried that your husband would leave the hotel. Your husband is an adult and your child’s parent. His judgements are as valid as yours.

Let them go out and you get an early night. When we go on hols any evening stuff doesn't even start til 9pm..and that's family stuff.

Strange, yes. Why don't you want to go and see what is going on. Who wants to stay in a hotel room - esp if it's a family room - all evening? Go out with DH. I don't understand why you stopped him.
Also, if you are somewhere like Spain/Greece all the children will be out with parents because life happens in the evening. You are missing the best bit of the holiday. It's not odd to go out in the evening at all.

Gaza? Kiev?

It would take most adults an age to go to sleep at 8.30pm, your body isn’t ready to sleep at that time.

This is quite true. We’re all different. In the Med, we’re more like locals and don’t even get to the beach until 3pm and stay there til about 8pm before having a sundowner, then back to our place for a late dinner. So we’re usually heading back from the beach when other tourists have already headed out to dinner.

Anxiety can be debilitating, OP, especially if you’ve had past trauma. But might be somewhat combatted with simple measures, such as DH making sure his phone is fully charged and has your/hotel’s number written down in case his phone is stolen or lost. As long as you can contact each other in an emergency, you should be grand doing your own thing.

I hope you all enjoy the rest of your stay.

I went on my first holiday abroad with my parents as an 18-month old toddler.

There’s photos of me asleep on two plastic chairs pushed together at the hotel bar whilst my parents were drinking into the evening. (Not heavily for the Pearl clutches).

By aged 10 I was out in the bars drinking mocktails with them watching the hotel/local bar entertainment until the early hours.

Your type of holiday to be in bed by 8:30pm sounds like being in prison 😂

Worrying about a grown man accidentally wandering out of a hotel into a city you presumably considered safe enough to holiday in is not remotely normal.

Some of my happiest holiday memories happened after 8:30 pm as a young kid.

You are fine to go to bed early but your DS should be taken by the beach, to the hotel lounge, to an Amusement Arcade at night, to see the lights, to do an evening Scavenger Hunt, or a Window Quiz...

Bed at 8.30pm on your holiday is nothing short of weird sorry. One night possibly but sounds like you do it all the time. What about letting the family experience the culture of a city in the evening??

Going to bed at 8.30 are you a child ?
Totally selfish to expect your DH and child to stay in the room with you.

You must really be up for giving your child a memorable holiday.......not.

Have just remembered my favourite part of childhood holidays in Florida - me swimming in the pool at like eleven PM while my parents sat drinking at the nearby outdoor bar. It was great! We were/are a family of very late night owls...

I can’t deal with this level of weirdness