to honestley wonder, why have children if you WANT to work fulltime and are not prepared to make ANY sacrifices?

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

i don't mean parents that HAVE to work to provide.

i mean the ones that choose to for no other reason, other than they enjoy their job so much.
if you enjoy your job so much, thats great.
but what i really do not understand is why have children?
no one makes any of these parents have children, you can go though life without having children.

this is 100% genuine question, i just do not get it.

Or referring to me (Eastern European)

so xenia do you mean all women should return to work FT? to meet your exacting standard?

i fail to see how if i perhaps went back to a job such as shelf filling at tesco or cleaning loo's somewhere , how that would give my children a better role model than if i perhaps did lots of crafty things with them at home when i would of been at work??

"Xenia's post, while not all warm and fuzzy, is no more outrageous than the OP."

Indeed but whereas the housewives who are never very good at putting their case anyway as they gave up work because they'd never have amounted to much at work, are allowed to say they benefit their children by staying home we're not allowed to say they damage their children by staying home. Freedom of speech is needed on these issues and more articles in the press about how much it benefits children if both parents have careers.

If you start these threads you have to expect the flack. If you can't stand the heat don't go into the kitchen... may be that's not the right analogy given they probably are in their kitchens now burning their pinnies.

People take themselves too seriously. The best indicator for child outcomes is that a child is not born in poverty. If mothers work the benefits they give the children through that route are immeasurable. It is a huge gift to your children if you work as a woman.

I'm referring to this whole ridiculous thread@Hercules.

R u taking the piss XENIA

I am all for equality but some of us don`t have a choice

I moved abroad 2 years ago with dh job.
Due to permit I can not work

So I am SAHM
There are good and bad points

But don`t say we are damaging our children

Is that what happened to you???

lol xenia

Just for the record, Mrs Mattie, I never refered to people on benefits as being scroungers or even implied it

Don't argue with Xenia, or you'll never get an invite to holiday on her island!

xenia i think you're a very articulate witty person, but .. i would like it very much if you could back up your statement that SAHP damage there children with some scientific information/psychological study please?

otherwise i shall be forced to think you are just being an extremist for the fun of it... like the OP

Do you think its easy being at home 24/7??

By the way I think if you can get a balance work and kids that you are happy with .Thats great.
Happy parents leads to happy kids

"morally defective life choice and the original poster need compulsory re-education to be brought up to modern standards of womanhood"

imo this attitude is FAR from being a modern standard of womanhood, perhaps so in the 1960s when militancy was a necessary evil to get people to sit up and take note of the suppression of womens rights, not so in the 21st century. this kind of outdated image of feminism assumes that SAH parenting (note i say parenting - not gender specific) is not a valid contribution to society and that an individuals worth can only be measured in terms of their fiscal contribution and material productivity. imo this is again FAR from reality. producing and brining up the next generation is perhaps the single most important contribution to society, everything else, it could be argued, is just window dressing

please note i have been careful NOT to get personal about this and am expressing my considered (whilst bathing my kids) opinion

In anawer to OP:
It's an evolutionary imperative. HTH x

MRS MATTIE

I don`t want to go to XENIA ISLAND
I would be treated as a second class doormat

This thread is the best thing that has happened to Xenia. She has the perfect excuse not to mince words. OP has walked right into it.

I have tears rolling down my eyes at Xenia's views - she is GOOD.

i dont wanna go either...islands make me think of sand and sand always gets in your bumhole and no-one said whether soft bumhile friendly towels would be provided...

"they gave up work because they'd never have amounted to much at work"

I didn't realise that I'd always kind of suspected this about most SAHM's. I know I'm wrong, I'm just shocked as to the views I unconsciously held on this.

casbie on Thu 17-Apr-08 16:20:15
"motherhood should be cherished though.

there are so many people out there, who think motherhood is demeaning and children annoying. it is a sad factor of today's society. "

I don't get your constant posts going on about motherhood, motherhood, motherhood. Like it's only women who mustn't have it all, women who must not think childcare is demeaning etc? What about dads? Are they allowed to think they can be both dads and professionals? Why isn't this equally wrong?

My nephews are looked after by their Dad, my other nephew were looked after by Dad and and their Mum on alternate weeks, dh and I shared the childcare.

Oh, and of course Hercules is perfectly right; the housewife who has nothing to do but to keep the house pretty and engage with dcs is a very modern concept indeed.

Medieval miracle tales are full of horrendous accidents happening to small children while their mothers are working and they are left alone or under the supervision of some totally unsuitable nursemaid or another child. And of course, before the invention of the pram (and of metalled roads), taking a small child with you anywhere was always going to be much harder work.

My grandfather recorded in his autobiography (re the 1890's) that he had no recollection of his mother ever playing or laughing with him; not because she was a nasty or abusive woman, but simply because constant work on the farm and nursing 11 children through various ghastly illnesses did not leave time or energy for these optional extras. He speaks of her with gratitude but without tenderness.

You mean you don't want to spend a fortnight lying on the beach, with the sound of gently rolling waves in one ear and Xenia banging on about pinnies and emancipation in the other? How could you not?

Go Xenia Go Xenia !!!

i am a fantastic multi-tasker great mum, great FT worker (modest too) i want to do both.end of

a) I don't believe milkgoddess exists
b) if she does exist, I don't believe she could ever get a job as her spelling is so appalling.

Message withdrawn

You're an absolute marvel SM