to honestley wonder, why have children if you WANT to work fulltime and are not prepared to make ANY sacrifices?

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

i don't mean parents that HAVE to work to provide.

i mean the ones that choose to for no other reason, other than they enjoy their job so much.
if you enjoy your job so much, thats great.
but what i really do not understand is why have children?
no one makes any of these parents have children, you can go though life without having children.

this is 100% genuine question, i just do not get it.

Have worked fewer and fewer hours with each subsequent child.Worked pretty much full time with DD1 18 yrs ago,but only 1/2 time with DS,then less with DD2 and now 1 day per week.
Personally I don't enjoy my job (nursing) enough to do more hours than this,and having such big gaps has made me appreciate the time that children are little.
All this is very personal to me though,and I am lucky enough to be able to do it.
Do feel that it would be very difficult to have both parents with full time high flying careers though.
So have happily sacrificed mine

FFS why cant we all just accept that different people make different choices based on whats best for them, AS someone said only the very well off have free choice truly, some people are lucky enough to have a job they love that will accomodate changes after a child others dont, some people love there jobs some dont and some people choose to / are able to stay at home with there kids, some cant/dont. the real question is WHY THE FUCK IS IT ANYONE ELSE'S business?? or place to judge!!!!!

christina the astonishing - why is the benefits system not there to enable people to be SAHP? it allows smokers to quit throught the NHS, you can get a boob job on the NHS, It helps people with alcohol issues to get clean - all of these things are about imporving/making yourself happier, if being a parent to your child in the way you want, why shouldnt the government help you? we all pay taxes!!

This is hugely entertaining, burning your pinny indeed

Why are we all tying ourselves up in knots over people's individual right to choose what is best for them and their families.

Let it go !!!!! There are more important problems like what familygoblin are having for tea tonight

milkgoddess - I will hazard a guess from your name that you are in the first flush of motherhood, exquisitely happy to be fulfilling your destiny, providing milk for your baby and wondering what other woman could possibly bear to be doing anything else.

That is why I will not bother trying to answer your OP

Broody, i really can't be bothered to get into an argument with you about the benefits system when I need to get back to cooking (emancipated woman here). I had always assumed it's a last measure safety net. I also assumed that people who don't work don't pay taxes, unless you're referring to VAT but even that is from someone else's money.

ohh family goblin have boiled eggs and soldiers...yum yum , make me some too

so christine you are assuming then that those who go onto benefits when SAHP have never worked, and will never again cos to my mind you've accrued taxes up to that point have you not???

Err where did I say people who claimed benefits were scroungers? I said the benefits system enables a lot of people to be able to stay at home. I didnt make any sort of a judgement statement. I have actually many a time said on other threads that I believe women should be entitled to have children even if they cannot afford them without claiming benefits.

Broody i would gladly make you some - unfortunately young goblin hates eggs......how about some yummy tomato soup ?

that should read christina... i cannot type...

Actually, the interesting thing the OP has hit on is that some people who have children actually don't want children and never did, but fell for the bullshit that having children is compulsory, proof of adulthood, proof of heterosexuality and a demonstration that you are 'normal'. (or they got mixed up with some or other dumbfuck who still thinks parenthood should be your 'punishment' for daring to hve sex).If you don't want children, that doesn't make you a bad person. DOn't have children. Childfree living is actually a sensible and even an ethical choice if that's how you feel.

Well you said "we all pay taxes" using the present tense, so it's that I was replying to. Really need to get to cooking. And I'm not christine.

hmm well i spose tomato soup could be gd...with some nice bread and proper very bad for you butter

Fair enough...having not counted myself as having ever made any demands on my taxes from the government, i reckon im saving my share of um up

Fridayfeeling
I agree with you

I am SAHM

There is no wrong or right

its what you are like when you are with ur dc.

I have friends who work and even at the weekend do everything they can not to spend time with their dc.I also know those who work and they make the most of their time.
Its the same for with SAHMs

XENIA u r talking crap

I never refered to taxes nor did I call anyone Christine.

the answer is these type of parents want it all, they want to experience everything and not miss out.
thats basically the crux of it.

Ah, you weren't talking to me1

wheres my soup goblin lady!!

if they're prepared to work hard, why shouldn't they have it all?

They're all scum those working mums/SAHMs/benefits scroungers / benefits cheats / Eastern European migrants/fat people/ dow owners (DELETE as appropriate). They shouldn't be allowed out! String 'em up! They're taking our jobs!

Mass burning of pinnies and all the housewives returning to work tomorrow. Good. Keep it up. It's 2008. Women have always worked. It's your duty.

If you start this kind of thread you have to be able to live with the counter arguments that you do children a huge disservice by just being a housewife. It's a morally defective life choice and the original poster need compulsory re-education to be brought up to modern standards of womanhood.

What are they going to say in later life? mummy did nothing. Women shouldn't work and the sons will think women's role is as servant. Then your husband dies or disappears abroad with a younger model and because you shot your career to pieces by becoming a housewife you cannot even support the children.

But certainly it's very wrong to say - why have children if as a man (or woman) you return to work.

belgo you've hit the nail on the head there!

MrsMattie - I hope you arent refering to me.