Mums of sons. (Hard hat on for this)

[Daniagainagainagainagain]

Apologies for the grabby title. I've NC'd for this as I have a few running threads currently with very outing and personal details on.

Anyway back to the point.
I see SO many threads on here where the topic about the thread is about a guy. It's not even necessarily bad about the bloke in question, but so many many posters just seem to hate men. Not give them the benefit of the doubt. Tear them a new arsehole for merely posting on MN asking for advice. There was a thread recently about a woman seeing a really nice guy, a gentlemen as she described him where he had been separated for literally YEARS but wasn't divorced. Turns out there were cultural differences meaning divorce in that country is very rare. People kept saying 'throw him back in the sea' 'he's a liar' one poster called him a wanker.. there was no evidence that he was a wanker and the OP seemed happy with the guy. Just more people clutching for their moment to berate men. It's always the guys fault on here no matter what.

It's always the same posters more often than not berating men, shooting them down, and just hating them. I wonder, do these women posters have sons? If so, do you think your sons are exempt from such awful insults because 'my boy would never'? I can't imagine these posters talking about their sons like that. So do you pick and choose, is it one rule for your sons and one for all other men?

Before it labelled being 'cool' I have just got out of a 10 year abusive relationship where ex cheated multiple times to the point of police involvement. I am not naive to think some of these guys deserve what they get.

AIBU? To think there's huge double standards? To call strangers with no reason to, wankers, but to also think the son shines out of your son's arses?

I know I'll probably ruffle some feathers but I'd genuinely like to know. And yes I have DC.

@BernardBlacksBreakfastWine

An OP: my husband has tricky working hours, I'm really upset that we can't go on holiday.
Replies: LTB! You deserve better, what a wanker!

There is absolutely zero critical thinking in that whatsoever. No matter how much you try and convince yourself that there is, or that you're above anyone who opposes.

You can’t just make stuff up and that’s your argument.

I think someone mentioned a straw man…

Did you ever had statistics during education.
If not, let me help you out?
Google how many women are murderrd by men.
Google how many men are murdered by other men.
And then,google how many men or women are murdered by women.
Women make insignificant fraction of murderers.
A likehood of you being murdered by fellow woman is almost zero. Being murdered by a men? It's therr. Beinv murdered by a man you know? Yup.
So yes, it is a gender issue.

@BernardBlacksBreakfastWine that's actually a current running thread example

No not all men are horrible.

But I have been affected by DV, profoundly, and it does affect you, not to the point of hating all men but it does give you experience of the many tactics in the way men abuse their power and strength.

What I can't understand is your post asking for a poster if she knew someone personally who had been murdered at the hands of a male and your other post separating neglect from abuse.

Neglect is a pre cursor for abuse, it goes hand in hand with devaluing and dehumanising women, it is a powerful tool.

In those exact, very simplistic, terms? I doubt it.

Every now and then (statistically) you will get an outlier thread, or you will get a woman who hates all men. So? Doesn’t make OP’s premise any less pathetic.

@Daniagainagainagainagain

I would reply to your well-argued point (as I think it was going to be to me) but you seem to have been deleted.

Ask yourself why you need to come on here and defend men against nasty women saying mean things about them. Men aren’t doing the same for you.

The thread discusses how mothers of sons with negative views of men reconcile the two. No one was asked to discuss whether MN has a significant numbers of posters who are anti men and there has been no vote or leaning of comments to suggest there is a consensus of opinion in agreement with this.

I think you have misunderstood the OP and also lack understanding of the difference between 'consensus of opinion' and your own opinion.

The thread discusses whether Mumsent has a significant number of posters who are anti-men. The consensus is that it does.

It's not anti men. It's anti abusive,cheating,neglectful, selfish , extra child, addicted to porn/drugs/gambling type of men.

Why? Because, generally their wives/partners deserve better.

I haven't gone anywhere?

I meant your last comment was deleted…

I was curious to know if they'd had any direct experience with it, (obviously hoping not and would be horrific of anyone on here did) but to maybe see if that's why they had the opinion they did, that's all

Strawman and critical thinking are not compatible.🙄

Several of theirs have gone missing, don't think anyone else has been. That usually means this thread isn't going well and the whole lot will get deleted (hopefully). It's been awful to read tbh.

No, I haven't misunderstood Gap but I knew you'd arrive.
Like a Swiss train.

But your replies are being deleted, which doesn’t bode well for the content of them.

And when we did, how did you reply? Certainly not with compassion nor respect.

Actually the chances of being murdered by a man are also close to zero. It's about 6/1,000,000 or 0.000006%.

What I meant when I said it's not a gender issue is that it's not motivated by misogyny. People are not being murdered because of their gender. If anything, their gender makes them less likely to be murdered.

The very few women who are murdered suffer that fate because unfortunately a very tiny amount of homicidal men will always exist. Unless we manage to breed that out completely, which is highly unlikely. But that isn't indicative of a deeper malaise, especially that of misogyny.

As to other forms of violence, that might indeed affect more women. I don't know the statistics (the 1 in 4 rape/sexual assault victim is junk science), but that could very well point to misogyny in our society. The reason I mentioned murder is because it was brought up on page 1 of this thread.

Maybe consider why your replies are being deleted OP and whether it might be because you're engaging with people really poorly and saying inappropriate things.

Goodness. How creepy of you to be anticipating where I'd post. I have no idea who you are. You may comment on my posts but your comments on me personally are unwelcome. Do not address me that way again.

I knew a gross man I worked with who pressured multiple women into sex - sexual assault and borderline rape and I found women crying about it afterwards they were so traumatised.

He was very good looking, charming - but a sexual predator. Awful.

I remember him showing me a card his mum had sent him after he got a promotion - she had written how he was a winner and always had been, gushing about how wonderful he was.

It made me feel a bit sick actually. She has no idea that he's sexually assaulted multiple women - and gushes over him. I do wonder how many mums like that are out there and have no idea - and how many would even believe their son's terrible actions if they were told about it

Huh? What the hell does that mean

It was because it was a TAAT - HTH.

@INeedAnotherName @BabaYetu @BernardBlacksBreakfastWine

The comment that was deleted that was mine was because it was about another thread.

You only need to look at the first couple of replies to my thread to see others who have had comments deleted.

But you obviously want to cherry pick one of mine that's been deleted.
Stop reaching for your 'gotcha' moment. It wasn't that deep of a comment to be deleted.

Many many people on here agree with me. Some partially. Some don't. So there's obviously strong views on both sides. And that's okay! You just can't handle it.