He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

[Burritowrap]

I have been seeing someone for around a year now. We are exclusive and see each other twice a week or so.
He has been on a beach trip with my friends but seemed awkward but got over the initial awkwardness.
He talks about marriage, moving in together and has told his family about me.

This weekend we went for a meal for their birthday. I had made a big fuss for their day, organising a cake, gifts and took them to a fancy restaurant. I thought he enjoyed it.

He then was talking about some party he is planning to hold, and i said how great it would be to finally meet his friends. He went all sketchy and said how he didnt want that to happen just yet. I asked him why and he couldnt really answer me. He told me he could possibly introduce me once I had a promotion at work so then he could show off my role. (We are both in the same profession).

He then went on during the night saying how I am very full on and he doesnt like it - he wants to wait five years for kids (I don't) and that I should be focusing on my career. He was complaining how I want to get married and he wants to wait. He was the one who bought it all up.

I am so hurt by all of these things. I thought we were on the same page and he just has made me feel terrible. I feel like why bring all of this up on his birthday night... Im not sure how to respond but havent spoken to him since as I am just so upset and done.

Either he is genuinely ashamed of you because you haven't met some sort of professional standard, or he's having an affair and just came up with any old excuse. My money is on the latter tbh, as it's a bit of a rubbish excuse. Obviously you should dump him, there isn't really any scenario where you wouldn't dump him after that, surely? I'd just do it via text and block him, no need to make it dramatic.

Agree

There's something seriously wrong here, OP. Why wouldn't he want anyone to know his age? That's just pathetic. (How old is he, anyway?)

Why doesn't he want you to meet his friends? What kind of job would be acceptable to him?

Were his previous girlfriends of a much higher status than you at work?

In any case I wouldn't wait to find out the answers. He's not proud of you. He doesn't think you're acceptable as a girlfriend. Dump him - I wouldn't even do it in person as I think he'll make you feel awful.

I really hope you get the job - and REALLY hope that one day you're his boss.

@Burritowrap I'm glad you have kept your sense of humour. You are right to be outraged by his insulting comments.

I would keep it polite if you are work colleagues, so 'sorry, after our chat, I don't see things working out between us' . I wouldn't be nasty if he's a colleague, just one line of text and block him and that's that.

You are going places OP! He's a loser and I suspect he's peaked.

This

He then was talking about some party he is planning to hold

I've just realised - he was going to have a party but not invite you?

And after that it’ll be something else.
Can’t you see the control developing ? He ants you to do the puck me dance over and over.
Throw him back in the pond.

Get your promotion then dump him as he no longer matches your life goals.

This controlling behaviour will only escalate. Get out now.

7 pages so far of LTB - please dump him! He sounds pathetic and you don't want to waste anymore time on him.

Yikes, not a keeper. I’m sorry but he’s just not that into you and you’ll waste years waiting for him to change.

have you dumped him yet op?

Ugh. He's a controlling wanker who wants you to measure up to his bizarre expectations. What a twat. Bin him off. I would text him today to the effect that he is falling short of an acceptable standard to be your boyfriend and you don't see him as suitable husband material. Dump him. Delete him. Block him. Move on.

This bloke is as dodgy as hell get rid. Don't waste another day on him.

At the very least he is very picky and choosey - say you have a child and he wants a boy but you have a girl - one wonders what he would do? He seems strange - you would never know who he is.

Any woman posting on MH about the upsetting behaviour of a man is likely to be killed in the rush of respondents baying for his head on a platter. It's very, very predictable and here it is happening again.

In this case though, they're right.

Agree. He's vile. And good luck with your promotion

Something’s not adding up. He’s old enough to be embarrassed about sharing his age, yet wants to wait 5 years before having children? Seems odd. Did he explain why you need a promotion before meeting his family? I’m really curious about how he’s pitched this excuse to you. Have you only just now asked to meet friends, one year in? Have you been to his home? I have so many questions!!! Given that he’s old enough to want to hide it (45 is my guess?), I’m thinking you’re his bit on the side.

WTAF! He thinks you're not good enough for him. Dump his arse!

Fgs don't listen to people saying to wait until you've got your promotion. That (and the waiting five years) is him future faking. You will never meet his friends. He will never be ready for marriage and kids. There's probably someone else that his friends DO know.
Do it now. In the way that causes you as little inconvenience as possible.

If you stay with him in 3years time you will be starting a thread about how he seeks to control you and tries to manage your child better to reach the age goals. "Why can't he walk across the room yet he is 10 months" etc.

What they all said on the first page!

He sounds so conceited, don't think you owe him the courtesy of an in person dumping. I would send him a text the day of his party.

Definitely a dumpable offence, but if it’s the first time something like this has come up I’d personally be interested to understand better where it’s coming from. I’d also suggest making it very clear exactly why you’re ending it and why his comments are so unacceptable and damaging. To me, it feels good to be direct like this rather than hiding behind vague phrases like ‘we have different values’. And who knows, maybe it could prompt some much needed soul searching on his side.

What a shallow tosser he is. I’d be out of the door. Seriously, I would. What an unpleasant personality he has if he feels you aren’t worth introducing to his friends at all until he can be prouder of your career / status. Absolutely in need of binning, OP.