He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

[Burritowrap]

I have been seeing someone for around a year now. We are exclusive and see each other twice a week or so.
He has been on a beach trip with my friends but seemed awkward but got over the initial awkwardness.
He talks about marriage, moving in together and has told his family about me.

This weekend we went for a meal for their birthday. I had made a big fuss for their day, organising a cake, gifts and took them to a fancy restaurant. I thought he enjoyed it.

He then was talking about some party he is planning to hold, and i said how great it would be to finally meet his friends. He went all sketchy and said how he didnt want that to happen just yet. I asked him why and he couldnt really answer me. He told me he could possibly introduce me once I had a promotion at work so then he could show off my role. (We are both in the same profession).

He then went on during the night saying how I am very full on and he doesnt like it - he wants to wait five years for kids (I don't) and that I should be focusing on my career. He was complaining how I want to get married and he wants to wait. He was the one who bought it all up.

I am so hurt by all of these things. I thought we were on the same page and he just has made me feel terrible. I feel like why bring all of this up on his birthday night... Im not sure how to respond but havent spoken to him since as I am just so upset and done.

Ditch, sounds like an egotistical man-child. That controlling attitude will only get worse. Big avoid.

This is the universe! Take the job and dump him! Maybe you could date one of his friends 🤭

Brilliant!

Get settled in your new role and then start thinking about children.

He was vile, you really are so much better off without him. As are your future children.

Get rid of him, he doesn’t see you as a person and never will.

Ultimately it seems like you need to upgrade your boyfriend.

It's upsetting to hear but will save you a lot of heartache in the end, you really do deserve much better.

Congratulations!

Kick him to the kerb it will only get worse

Im sorry its taken you so long to realise what a nasty person he is. If one of your friends told you this what would you say? A year is a long time in a so called relationship and never to have met his friends and feel awkward with your friends. I hope the messages you have read here have given you the answer you need. you are not his primary one, you are wasting your life on someone who makes you feel bad and sad. Move on and now. No more contact. No more being available for when it suits him. Good luck.

What an arsehole

Good night Vienna.

Ditch him. He should be proud of you for what you are, not what he wants you to become.

I am so pleased for you @Burritowrap. Things are looking up for you!

Use this time to get yourself settled into your new role and do it without him being around.

Onwards and upwards!

He is a dick. LTB

Time to part company. Please do it asap and give yourself the chance to meet someone who wants children and loved and respects you as you are.

Well, I’m so pleased to read that you have dumped him - stick to your guns, and don’t give him any chance to wheedle his way back.

I suspect, as many other posters do, that he’s living a double life - keeping you away from his friends and family for a whole year is just down right odd. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if he has a wife/partner and children tucked away somewhere. Although, as has already been mentioned, the grapevine in education is very strong - there’s always someone, somewhere, who knows something about another person who works in schools, so I’m pretty certain that if he is in education too, someone, somewhere, will know something about him that he thinks he’s kept to himself.

Anyway, I wish you well for the future. Onwards and upwards, as they say.

Fuck him off right now!

Really pleased for you. Enjoy your life and just do well, and what you want to do.
I hope someone comes along who treats you well and with respect

From one burrito to another, seriously girl, save your sauce for someone who deserves it.

@ValsCupcakes Bank holiday was yesterday love

Dump him he sounds like an ar**hole

Get shut fast

I think kids after only a year or two is way too soon - Speaking as a Mum of three. Enjoy one another. Babies aren't all fun, cute bundles of joy. There's a lot of hard work, financial responsibility, worry, sleepless nights, the vomit, shitty nappies etc. That all can cause stress in a relationship and if it's not a solid relationship...you can gather the rest.

That's my negative and honest take on it! I've seen too many single parents in the same situation and they are so very unhappy.

He also sounds like a gutter-rat and needs to be kicked back to the gutter. He sounds abusive. First the resentful words, then the anger when he doesn't get his own way, then he feels embarrassed, then he becomes physical.

I'm sorry insert chosen insulting name I can't continue this relationship until you have been promoted to a level I see fit, byyyyyyyeee! And don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!

congrats on your new position and freedom from a berk

Pack him in. If he won't introduce you to his friends then he is not showing you any respect.