He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

[Burritowrap]

I have been seeing someone for around a year now. We are exclusive and see each other twice a week or so.
He has been on a beach trip with my friends but seemed awkward but got over the initial awkwardness.
He talks about marriage, moving in together and has told his family about me.

This weekend we went for a meal for their birthday. I had made a big fuss for their day, organising a cake, gifts and took them to a fancy restaurant. I thought he enjoyed it.

He then was talking about some party he is planning to hold, and i said how great it would be to finally meet his friends. He went all sketchy and said how he didnt want that to happen just yet. I asked him why and he couldnt really answer me. He told me he could possibly introduce me once I had a promotion at work so then he could show off my role. (We are both in the same profession).

He then went on during the night saying how I am very full on and he doesnt like it - he wants to wait five years for kids (I don't) and that I should be focusing on my career. He was complaining how I want to get married and he wants to wait. He was the one who bought it all up.

I am so hurt by all of these things. I thought we were on the same page and he just has made me feel terrible. I feel like why bring all of this up on his birthday night... Im not sure how to respond but havent spoken to him since as I am just so upset and done.

Next.

Text. He doesn't deserve better.

I find it worrying that you don't know what to do.

You tell him to get to fuck hen. That is what you do. Start to see yourself as the superior (to him) being that you are and dump his sorry ass. The man's a prick.

You should be with someone who makes you feel safe, valued and loved. He's failed.

So yes just text, you're enough promotion or no promotion.

What a vile, cretinous, little man.

Find your anger, OP. And your sense of humour while you're at it. He deserves you laughing in his face x

I know it doesn't seem like it but this is good news! He's told you what your future will be like with him.

He wants you to work harder and then have more money so he works less. He wants to dangle a marriage over your head so you do as he asks. If you have children he will then tell you he didn't want them. He will run off with someone else because she earns more or is more of a mug.

Honestly it's good news he's been transparent. You can now make an informed decision and get rid of him.

I think whether or not there's anyone else, he's a timewaster. Text could say 'after our conversation at dinner, it has become apparent that we are looking for different things so let's leave things here. I wish you had been clearer sooner. All the best'.

Please promote him to the rubbish bin.

You sound amazing and he absolutely does NOT deserve you.

LTB

If you’ve only been together for a year and only see each other twice a week, it still sounds very casual. I can see why he doesn’t want to get married or have kids yet.

Odd about not meeting his friends though!

What job do you do that he’s embarrassed about!?

Life is so, so short. Don't waste anymore of your time on this man.
Definitely dump him by text. You could tell him it could have worked if he had achieved promotion quicker. Or just tell him to do one. He isn't worth the effort of texting extra words.

get rid of him. Just no!

Oh and when you get your promotion, you need to make sure he something knows about it. Lol!
good luck

How do you respond? By dumping him. What a jerk.

he hasnt introduced you to his friends because you are not 'the one' he's the type of guy who will future fake you for years then when its finally all over, will meet a woman and be married within 6 months.

Get rid of him now. Just send a text and block.

Then go to therapy and find out why you didn't know how to respond.

I would be suspicious not meeting any of his friends after a year. Really strange bin him.

If he is a teacher and you are really a deputy head, it’s really odd that you don’t have any friends or acquaintances in common. Most people in teaching circles are gregarious and connected.
If it’s a true story then he probably has a wife and kids already. Do some digging with your colleagues in other schools and find out.

I find it worrying too that OP you are a professional woman yet allowed yourself to get blindsided by this stupid man. Even more worrying is that he is possibly a head teacher? Completely ridiculous. He's not worth it. There is nothing wrong with you but a lot wrong with him and I worry about the kids he is in charge of.

You’re a deputy head and ‘up for promotion’ but still a few years off being a head.

What job are you up for promotion for, @Burritowrap ?

What job does he do? Teacher? TA? Deputy head? Head?

I'd be fucking him off. RIGHT NOW!

This is a man who will side swipe all of your wants and needs to prioritise his own. He is not focused on what is right, he's focused on how things LOOK.

He will be a shit long term partner, awful husband and absolutely terrible Father.

Imagine how he'd deal with one of his kids having a learning barrier or disability. What's he going to do,, refuse to let anyone meet his child until they'd passed their 11+?!

Sounds like an utter knob head.

Dump and move on

he’s not that interested / you can do better

What a wanker. I can't deal with the arrogance.

Oh for goodness sake op. He’s a narcissistic little twat! Maybe tell him to get a promotion seeing as he bases things on ‘status’!

Honestly, get rid of the idiot! He’s a man child. It’s one thing to have been together for a year and never met his friends/ family - that rings alarm bells in itself as to what he may be hiding but basically telling you he’s embarrassed of you in your current job and you’re only worthy of meeting his ‘friends’ if you get a promotion takes it to a whole new level.

Is this the sort of man you’d want a relationship with?? Someone who you’ll never feel you’re good enough for unless you have some sort of ‘status’? Because that’s exactly how he will make you feel.

Dump him!