Dh went to the toilet whilst Dd was in the paddling pool

[Pleaseenterausernameok]

I didn’t feel well the other day so went upstairs for a lie down when Dh got back from
work. Dd was asking to go in the pool-large blow up one, deep enough for me to sit in and move around, deep enough for Dd to swim. I said I wasn’t feeling well and was going to go for a lie down when daddy was back and she could go in then with him (he sometimes goes in or with him sat outside watching obviously)
I went upstairs, heard her in the pool chatting away to Dh. After a bit I realised I couldn’t hear her (she’s very chatty) but didn’t think much of it, a while later I heard her calling to Dh and him calling back from the downstairs loo.
Dh had gone to the toilet and left her, when he went to the toilet it wasn’t for a quick wee, but number two and for those he can be in there for up to an hour, no joke.
Aibu to think this is completely irresponsible to leave her in the pool unattended?

I think 8 and able to swim is the right age for this to be safe but I don't think he is completely incompetent or neglectful as 6 is not massively far off and she has some level of swimming ability. If she was a toddler it would be unforgivably stupid.

I would be really angry about this. My almost 6 year old is a not good at judging danger though and not a strong swimmer so that could be clouding my judgement

I’d assume my 6yo had the common sense to keep her head above water in a bloody paddling pool. I’m sure my two were left alone in the bath at that age.

That's more of a mini swimming pool not a paddling pool! I think he was negligent leaving her even for a minute. He should have got her out and told her to stay out until he got back if he was desperate for the toilet.

I was jumping in and out of a little paddling pool when I was about 4 and slipped and fell and cut my head badly and had to go to hospital to get it stitched.

Accidents happen really easily and you shouldn't get complacent. 🙁

Not safe at that depth for her, unaccompanied and unconfident swimmer. He should also see the doctor if he needs an hour to shit, it should take about 3 mins.

It’s a large, deep inflatable pool, when she stands up it’s up to just below her shoulders

How is that a paddling pool?

Yanbu she could have died and it would have been his fault

I’m a highly anxious mum, but I think a quick trip to the loo is fine for a 6 year old
tp be playing in a paddling pool.

It’s similar to this one

@Yousay55 A quick trip of running in to the downstairs loo for a wee, possibly but not sitting for ages for the other

I've never seen a blow up paddling pool that deep, DS is 5 and 1m 20 ish (he was that height in may and grows like a weed so possible he's now taller), so it would need to be a blow up pool a metre deep? Our paddling pool isn't even knee height on me

Yes she could have a seizure but so could I. I think going to the toilet is fine, he wasn't even upstairs. I have left ds to pop into the kitchen to get a drink or his towel. He can swim unaided but only about 10m and that doesn't prevent slips etc that could affect even the strongest swimmer.

Oh I've cross posted with your picture, that's an easy up pool

@Zerogiven It’s not about trust though is it? She could have got her leg caught and gone under or anything, I realise I’m saying v unlikely scenarios, but it could happen

What?! You think people only drown because they choose not to stand up???

Amazing.

Sorry - I should have read all the posts. YANBU if it is that deep and he’s gone for that long!

He shouldn't have left her, she wouldn't be allowed to be unsupervised in a public pool of that same depth.

Why do men take hours to poo? Do they poo and then sit there for an hour? I just don't get it.

Too young imo. What would have happened if she had slipped/ banged her head and drowned. I worked in child protection years ago and we had a case where a little girl drowned in a paddling pool. I will never forget that. Not worth the risk.

Not so bad when she 6.
When my children were younger if I had leave bathroom while they in bath (3+) I used to say sing out loud until I come back so I can hear and know ok. Maybe he could use that trick next time

The only thing that can make you drown is you.

Or lack of parental supervision for a child.

When you need to go you need to go. I'm sure dd will be fine,. Probably would have been best for her to get our to be on the safe side but the likelihood of drowning is nowhere near the same as a toddler, presumably she can get out the pool.herself if necessary

@Zerogiven I don’t understand this comment

Why does he take so long to do a poo....."up to an hour"??

It would have been helpful to have the size/depth of pool to get the right answers. We have a 15 ft foot pool that's about 3ft deep. It sounds a similar idea to yours. Our children can swim in it. It's a small swimming pool NOT a paddling pool. There is a huge difference. Paddling pool maybe not too depending on circumstances. Small swimming pool she couldn't safely climb out of? Of course she shouldn't be left alone for any length of time