Dh went to the toilet whilst Dd was in the paddling pool

[Pleaseenterausernameok]

I didn’t feel well the other day so went upstairs for a lie down when Dh got back from
work. Dd was asking to go in the pool-large blow up one, deep enough for me to sit in and move around, deep enough for Dd to swim. I said I wasn’t feeling well and was going to go for a lie down when daddy was back and she could go in then with him (he sometimes goes in or with him sat outside watching obviously)
I went upstairs, heard her in the pool chatting away to Dh. After a bit I realised I couldn’t hear her (she’s very chatty) but didn’t think much of it, a while later I heard her calling to Dh and him calling back from the downstairs loo.
Dh had gone to the toilet and left her, when he went to the toilet it wasn’t for a quick wee, but number two and for those he can be in there for up to an hour, no joke.
Aibu to think this is completely irresponsible to leave her in the pool unattended?

At 6 I feel my child would have been safe but he started swimming lessons at 4.

It depends what you mean by paddling pool. Something a metre in diameter with a few inches of water in, fine. But I suspect you mean something larger and deeper.

Mine would have been fine to leave at 6 in paddling pool. They were confident swimmers in deeper pools by then.

But where does that end? An 11 year old could also have a fit and drown in a paddling pool does that mean they shouldn't be left unattended either?
or they could have a fit walking up the stairs fall down and hit their head, should we hold their hands walking up the stairs forever too?

6 year old I'd be okay with

@ZippyDenimBear Are you actually serious?

I mean it's hard to say. Is it a paddling pool? Or a small swimming pool? If it's a small swimming pool then probably too dangerous to leave her as she could drown. However if it's a paddling pool then I would think it's fine to go to the toilet at her age.

6 yes fine.

@Pleaseenterausernameok your description does not sound like a paddling pool which I would say is 6-8 inches of water and about 8 ft diameter across is what most would think of a paddling pool but many kids pools have about 2-3 ft of water and they are about 16-20ft diameter they are pools not paddling pools.

It’s a large, deep inflatable pool, when she stands up it’s up to just below her shoulders
Its unlikely anything would happen, but I still never leave her

So he would rather take an hour long shit on the toilet than spend time with his 6 year old daughter in the pool? What a prince.

Yeah that’s not okay OP I would be furious

Yep then that is completely unsafe and inappropriate.

@StSwithinsDay That too, but it’s the safety aspect I’m more concerned about

I wouldn't be happy at all, it's all well and good until it's not. Even at her size she could have slipped getting in/out etc. He could've brought her in to get a drink, snack, have a break while he was on the toilet.

6 is fine. I thought that you were talking about a toddler

@TheOpalReader Exactly, I know how long he takes on the toilet, he could have called to me or told her she had to sit inside until he’d finished. As it was I came downstairs to watch her

Your update on depth sheds more light. No I wouldn't. He should have either got her to pop inside for a minute or called you.

I’ve never seen such a big paddling pool that the water is up to a 6 year olds shoulders - do you have an image?

I wouldn’t want to leave my 6 year old ideally but it’s not the end of the world. She’s not a baby or toddler. If she can stand up then how can she drown bar knocking herself out or having an incredibly unlikely fit / passing out? She’d just stand up.

I thought u meant couple inches deep paddling pool at first that's what paddling pool means to me.
That's an actual swimming pool albeit a small one.

for those he can be in there for up to an hour, no joke

Ok, so how long was he actually gone this time?? I will assume not an hour.

I think you are overreacting

Well that makes a big difference to my opinion. That is deep ,so my answer would be not safe for longer than a couple of minutes .

Post a pic of the pool

That’s not a paddling pool then. But I honestly think you have a paddling pool but are now outraged we don’t all agree with you. Please post a pic so people can give you a fair comment. Paddling pools are not up to kids shoulders….by definition.

Sounds like you were just listening so how can you be sure he hadn't fetched her out and told her to wait?

She was talking to him through the door as well, so he could react if something changed

Is he in for an hour because he's on his phone or does it take an hour? If it takes an hour then it sounds like a medical condition and he'd have to go when he had to go (did he get chance to go when he came in or was it like he walked through the door and you immediately told him to watch her?) If it's his phone then he probably wasn't going to take that long this time.