AIBU for leaving my DP's dad's BBQ?

[startinganewforonce]

Just a quick one because I do feel like an AH, but was IBU to leave my DP's dad's BBQ because he picked up burgers to put on the BBQ, didn't wash his hands and was touching everything?! I have contamination OCD and raw meat is my biggest fear. I was getting angry and upset and had to go, DP was mad as we had our two year old with us but I have heard about what e.coli can do young kids and it's a fear of mine..

I'm sorry but YOUR ocd shouldn't be impacting your family .

Look at all the studies about anxious parents and the effect it has on kids when one member is allowed to rule' what their kids do ' according to YOUR anxiety.. not good .

Your responsibility is to get treatment not just accept it is the way it is .

No . I would not of left . I would not of eaten the thing you were nervous about.. and left it at that .

There’s no reason for op to suffer with ocd when it can be helped. Ocd is very hard to live with.

It is indeed very hard to live with. I agree that it can, in many cases, be helped so that the person is more functional and lives with less distress. It's the word "cured" I'm taking issue with.

Ummm nope I don't want anyone on here DM me thanks

To manage it absolutely, cure it no

Like I said, no magic. Years of hard work and lots of effort.

Did you have OCD or a different illness?

Some mental health conditions can be managed or improved somewhat by help/medication but not “cured”.
other mental health conditions can be recovered from. Eg: if someone is suicidal from depression, it doesn’t mean they have to be depressed for the rest of their lives. But depression is a mental health condition.

Urgh I'm with you op and I don't have food and contamination ocd.

I just think it's basic hygiene to wash your bloody hands when your touching raw meats or any food that your feeding to others for that matter.

This is why I don't do other peoples bbqs.

Haven't done for years.

Exactly what I'm saying you need to tell thatquirkycrab as she thinks you can cure mental illness

Recover yes cure no

Yes I understand you. I don’t know anyone that has been “cured” from ocd. Managed it, yes, learned how to deal with it, yes, but I haven’t heard of a cure for ocd.

Honestly though I think even if the OP has worked hard to manage her condition, she - and many people who don't have OCD - would probably struggle with someone with raw meat residue on their hands going around touching everything.
And it's a difficult one to address, as many people would be really offended if you told them to wash their hands.

you can't cure OCD. OCD isn't the problem, its just the name for the condition.

The underlying problem is the Anxiety that drives the intrusive thoughts and behaviours. Anxiety isn't a curable condition, its manageable with a shit load of therapy, but not curable.

I have an anxiety disorder, part of which is an obsessive behaviour disorder.. i've had years of therapy, months of cbt, been on medication.. its mostly related to my asd/adhd, but NOT curable. It's currently well managed and under control, but every day is full of interactions that trigger it and i have to make constant adjustments to keep it under control.

Burgers are pre minced, usually cheap mince, That means that any germs, which are most likely to be on the outside, are churned up into the burger. It's also why pink burgers which are too pink can give you food poisoning. It can be pink but it needs to be about a certain temp. Also, big burgers are dense. Which means that often, on the BBQ, it will burn on the outside as it's a direct heat and then be removed because it's burning. But the heat hasn't had time to get through to the middle. Obviously, thin burgers reduce this issue.

Steak tartare is supposed to be beef fillet which is prepared there and then. It's not just a smashed up burger. You then mix it with things which contain vinegar (which is acid) and you eat it immediately. It's not pre-prepped. The meat should be very fresh. It's not recommended for pregnant women or people who have compromised immune systems.

Well you ruined it for your husband

But there would be germs everywhere from everything else the FIL had touched with his grebby e-coli riddled hands. Anything could have been contaminated - plates, cutlery, door handles, toilet flush…

I wouldn’t have risked my child’s health in that situation, and I don’t have OCD. It’s a recipe for a literal shitshow.

I am the same . I would have left . It's just basic food hygiene.
You wouldn't eat at a restaurant that did that . Well I hope I don't eat at restaurants that do that 😅

Please don't derail the thread. the OCD is irrelevant. Plenty of us without those challenges are turned off by poor hygiene and lack of safe food handling, too.

What is it about outside cooking that suddenly all basic food hygiene rules just get ignored?

Its disgusting.

Why did you take your daughter? She could have stayed with your partner no? YABVU and you need to try and sort out your behaviour before it affects your DD. Anger is not a normal emotion here. I’d see your GP asap.

why would you leave a vulnerable 2 yo around adults spreading raw chicken germs around everywhere?

The issue was NOT the food, it was the chef (the fil) not washing his hands after handling raw chicken, wiping them on his trousers, then touching everything and everyone!

It's a bit grim, but I don't have OCD, so would probably been able to let it go. I understand why you couldn't though.

My first thoughts on reading your posts were that you didn't want to go, so found a reason to leave. That'll teach your husband not to make you go to events you don't want to won't it???
Then you said your DH doesn't ask anyone to do anything, which makes me think you have an issue with him (and possibly his relationship with his Dad) anyway.

I think there's more to this and the BBQ was just the catalyst.

In addition, the Food Safety Agency have issued an unusual warning about imported chicken- 200 hundred cases have been tracked but there will be more as not all are tracked.

I absolutely don't have food contamination OCD but I have a healthy understanding of food hygiene- so no, OP, you were not being unreasonable. Cross contamination is a massive no-no in commercial kitchens (touching raw and cooked together) so why is it different in a home? Do you think the contamination goes away because wiping on jeans is a special trick?

FSA alerts consumers on salmonella and Polish poultry | Food Standards Agency

Who? Also the op has vanished into thin air so I think it's irrelevant what people talk about. But I will not be told by anyone that mental illness can be cured and that people just need to put more effort in. Mental illness isn't curable just like diabetes, asthma etc it can be managed not cured