to stop in motorway SOS lay-by so DD could wee

[TheWrongBus]

Genuine question, curious if there is an official/legal answer.

Driving to West Country, inevitably stuck in bad traffic jams on M25, DD9 suggests she may need a wee at some point but we’re only about an hour away from our lunch stop so I tell her ideally we’ll push through.

What I didn’t realise is that she’d drunk half her (large) bottle of water before we left home. She admits this just as we’re joining the M3 where there are seemingly permanent roadworks, no hard shoulder and emergency SOS lay-byes only.

I check and we’re around 25 minutes from the next services and at least 15 minutes from the next junction. Daughter at this point starts to cry because she’s so desperate so we decide to pull into the SOS lay-bye and hubby takes her behind the crash barrier for a wee. From what he reports it’s clearly not the first time this spot has been used in this way….

I don’t like using the lay-bye for this purpose and appreciate there are dangers to stopping there but I’m not sure what else we could have done. With the M25 traffic and the M3 roadworks I think it was at least 50 minutes between the previous M25 junction and the next M3 junction and literally nowhere we could stop between. So what else could we have done?

Am hoping they don’t fine people for using these lay-byes in a non-emergency, but given daughter literally about to wet herself isn’t it arguably a medical emergency anyway?

given daughter literally about to wet herself isn’t it arguably a medical emergency anyway?

No. A medical emergency is a heart attack. Needing the loo is not an emergency, merely a messy inconvenience.

Illegal and dangerous. If someone genuinely needed that pull in then it wouldn't have been available and would have put lives at risk. It isn't even legal to stop on the hard shoulder for a wee.

Needing a wee isn't a medical emergency!

For next time I think you can get bags with some sort of gel that you can wee into in case of an emergency.

At 9 I do think she is able to control it for a bit or to have some sense not to go before you left home, knowing she had so much to drink. Don't do this again.

Really dangerous! You don’t stop on the motorway unless there is literally no other option

She told you she was starting to want a wee and you couldn't be arsed to stop. You could have come off at the M3/M25 junction and found somewhere to stop.

You shouldn't have stopped in the lay by, of course you shouldn't.

I mean I would have done it - you’d just pull out if someone needed it urgently.

However get an emergency potty with a lid going forward, she’s too young to aim at a traveljohn.

It’s done now and it was fine. In future encourage your DD to be more open with communication around when she needs a wee or insist she goes before you leave the house. As an additional precaution you can get one of those unisex travel urinal bottles for use in the car

YABU , needing a wee does not constitute a medical emergency and at 9 they should be able to hold on for a few miles until either a services or a turn off .

Frankly that's a shocking misunderstanding of motorway regulations and driving rules.

We had to stop once when our child was vomiting in his car seat.
It's done now, you can't help it but it is dangerous. It was dangerous for us too

Oh I didn’t realise it was the motorway

No that it’s dangerous. If you really didn’t have anything for her to pee in, then she’d have to pee on a jumper in a plastic bag or something and then wash it.

You can’t be stopping on motorways to pee woman

I think it was a bit naive to think a child could wait an hour for the loo and not anticipate traffic problems holding you up but it’s done now. You really shouldn’t have done it but hopefully it was a one-off. We still have the travel potty bags in the car for this type of situation.

To be honest, I hope you do get a fine. That's incredibly dangerous, especially on a Smart motorway. What if a vehicle with a genuine emergency/break down etc needed that layby to get off the live lane? It's also dangerous to slow down/speed up using a live line to enter and leave the lay by. The control room usually puts up speed restriction and lane closure when a broken down vehicle is leaving a lay by and rejoining the live lane. With Smart motorways having cameras everywhere, I hope they have a zero tolerance approach to people stopping illegally.

Illegal and incredibly dangerous. And no, not an emergency.

Please never, ever do this again.

Medical emergency 🤣

You can’t be stopping on motorways to pee woman

Wtf "woman".

Needing a wee is not a medical emergency. Would you call an ambulance for it?

You should be fined….what you did was illegal……no one was having a heart attack or a stroke …..worst case scenario was that she wet herself in the car

A colleague broke down and managed to get to one of these. Fortunately he'd got out and stood behind the barrier...as an artic drove into/caught the back of the car. The driver side of the car was scrunched like a tin can.

Moral of the story is that lay-bys and refuges are for proper emergencies.

It’s an offence to stop on the hard shoulder; usual penalty is a band A fine (or possibly a fixed penalty), but no penalty points.

www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/offences/magistrates-court/item/offences-appropriate-for-imposition-of-fine-or-discharge/4-offences-appropriate-for-imposition-of-fine-or-discharge/#Stop_on_hard_shoulder

Very dangerous.

next time listen to her when she first says she needs a wee instead of deciding to ignore her then put lives at risk.

If it is a smart motorway I would expect a fine, as there are cameras everywhere watching what is happening. Therefore they will see it wasn't an emergency

From gov.uk

There are only two legal uses for the hard shoulder – as a lane for emergency vehicles attending an incident and as a refuge for broken down vehicles. Using it at any other time unless instructed to do so by traffic officers or roadworks signs can land you with a £100 fine and three points on your licence. Stopping because a passenger feels unwell or needs the toilet, to use your mobile phone or because you are feeling tired are not acceptable uses for the hard shoulder

There are plenty of junctions around the top of the M3 travelling away from the m25 just a few minutes apart.

Needing a wee is not a medical emergency regardless of how desperate you get, the worse thing that would happen is a pair of wet pants and a wet seat, not ideal but not a medical emergency.

“From what he reports it’s clearly not the first time this spot has been used in this way….”
Doesn’t really make it ok, it’s an incredibly dangerous place to stop.

If you were in an SOS lay-by your also not supposed to just drive off because that is equally dangerous your supposed to wait for assistance to safely rejoin the main carriageway