to stop in motorway SOS lay-by so DD could wee

[TheWrongBus]

Genuine question, curious if there is an official/legal answer.

Driving to West Country, inevitably stuck in bad traffic jams on M25, DD9 suggests she may need a wee at some point but we’re only about an hour away from our lunch stop so I tell her ideally we’ll push through.

What I didn’t realise is that she’d drunk half her (large) bottle of water before we left home. She admits this just as we’re joining the M3 where there are seemingly permanent roadworks, no hard shoulder and emergency SOS lay-byes only.

I check and we’re around 25 minutes from the next services and at least 15 minutes from the next junction. Daughter at this point starts to cry because she’s so desperate so we decide to pull into the SOS lay-bye and hubby takes her behind the crash barrier for a wee. From what he reports it’s clearly not the first time this spot has been used in this way….

I don’t like using the lay-bye for this purpose and appreciate there are dangers to stopping there but I’m not sure what else we could have done. With the M25 traffic and the M3 roadworks I think it was at least 50 minutes between the previous M25 junction and the next M3 junction and literally nowhere we could stop between. So what else could we have done?

Am hoping they don’t fine people for using these lay-byes in a non-emergency, but given daughter literally about to wet herself isn’t it arguably a medical emergency anyway?

Pretty certain that most posters here would have done the same rather than have a child piss all over the car seats.

But this is MN. Many people love to claim moral superiority by putting others down.

Sorry what?
Hard shoulder is less safe than a lay by. Full stop.

Google Maps is your friend!

Longacres takes about 4 minutes to get to, even if the Bagshot crossing lights are on red. Sainsbury's Bracknell is a bit further away but straight up the 322 and no lights until the Coral Reef crossing.

Both much quicker than going onto Fleet, or even Sainsbury's at Camberley (the one about 2 mins off the M3, not Tesco at The Meadows btw)

And if really, really desperate, the lorry parking along the 322 where all the truckers throw their bottles full of wee!

I'm not talking about when you're in them, I'm talking about getting safely back on to the carriageway.

Before leaving, you must contact the Regional Control Centre using the SOS phone. They’ll dispatch a National Highways Traffic Officer and/or set signs and signals (red 'X') to help you back onto the motorway safely. Do not attempt to leave until you have permission from the control centre or traffic officer.

https://www.theaa.com/breakdown-cover/advice/emergency-areas#:~:text=They%20are%20signposted%20as%20'SOS,flow%20and%20increase%20driver%20safety.

It isn't moral superiority. It is knowing how dangerous it is. If it was just that I might get a telling off and a fine I would stop. Its knowing it might kill us all that would make me not stop.

Depends surely, the OP said it was a huge traffic jam so not that unsafe if everyone is bumper to bumper and going 2mph….

No. You pull off at the next junction and deal with it. SOS laybys are for emergencies.

I agree if the fastest people are going is 5mph it is not dangerous.

but given daughter literally about to wet herself isn’t it arguably a medical emergency anyway?

No it's not

How would you feel if you and your family had a breakdown and couldn't get into the refuge bay because someone decided that their 9 year old's right to a comfort break trumped your family's lives?

That's an emergency. But why were childlocks not on?

Yes but actually, you’re waiting for the red X to be turned on to encourage traffic to move a lane over. They don’t do police escorting you back on anymore.
And only 1 in 5 motorists knew you had to call to let them know you were there..so tons of people aren’t even doing this according to a recent RAC survey.

These are safety issues from user error regardless of why they have stopped.

My boot popped open the first time I ever drove on a motorway. Had never done it before and never did it again. I had to stop just like you - that's a perfectly valid reason to stop.

There’d have to be three “someone’s” to block the entire bay…

Massively unreasonable to ignore her in the first place. You can't expect a child to hold a wee for an hour without being seriously uncomforatble/miserable.

You’d have been much safer just pulling off at the next junction and stopping on a normal roadside.

But dramatic.

It's about moral superiority, oh and a but of drama too..

100% I would let my passenger wee/poo or puke in the car rather than stop on the motorway. And I think most posters would feel the same.

Its scary that some people do not see the actual danger in what op did...to the occupants of her own can and others.

@SiobhanSharpe As per above , getting out is the key thing here. You're not supposed to stop, do whatever in the car, then rejoin traffic. When emergency services arrive they close off the lane, reduce the speed limit etc for a safe exit.
@Ratfinkstinkypink Your child's situation is certainly a medical emergency but it doesn't change the danger of staying on the hard shoulder. If you've been stopping, suctioning and then rejoining traffic, you're very lucky to not have been hit.

Exactly.
The OP did say “50mins” to get to each junction…and the M3 is only around 60miles in total…so must have been very slow moving traffic and most junctions are only a few miles apart.

I lost a dear friend who had to pull into an emergency lay by when her car broke down. A huge lorry came along, wasp in the cab distracted the driver and he ploughed into her car. The paramedics knew her well as she was a local nurse but couldn't ID her because the damage was so awful.

Good grief!

Do your grandkids parents know that you did this?

If my parents or in-laws did this it would be the last time that my kids ever got in a car with them.

I cannot believe that anyone would be so irresponsible

The enjoyment people are taking in telling others of deaths, they know someone who died, their child could have died, do you want your child to die is a bit ugh. Reminds me of car seat threads.

I’d probably have done the same.

Nope, never stop unless an actual emergency (sudden life threatening illness / car breakdown).

I did speed awareness training a few years ago and the one fact that has stayed with me is that your life expectancy on hard shoulder / sos lay-by is about 21minutes. 21 minutes!! If you ever do need to stop all passengers must leave car immediately and walk away behind barrier. Don’t ever stay in the car.

I commute every day and see this all the time. It really gets my goat.

Aside from the obvious danger, what these people don’t see is that at least a couple miles behind them the outside lane Electronic signs are flashing up with “Stranded vehicle ahead” with move Right arrows. These are then followed by a series of red X lane closed signs. In really heavy congestion this see four lanes of heavy traffic trying to get into three, all so your family can safely rejoin the motorway - causing huge inconvenience for your convenience.