to stop in motorway SOS lay-by so DD could wee

[TheWrongBus]

Genuine question, curious if there is an official/legal answer.

Driving to West Country, inevitably stuck in bad traffic jams on M25, DD9 suggests she may need a wee at some point but we’re only about an hour away from our lunch stop so I tell her ideally we’ll push through.

What I didn’t realise is that she’d drunk half her (large) bottle of water before we left home. She admits this just as we’re joining the M3 where there are seemingly permanent roadworks, no hard shoulder and emergency SOS lay-byes only.

I check and we’re around 25 minutes from the next services and at least 15 minutes from the next junction. Daughter at this point starts to cry because she’s so desperate so we decide to pull into the SOS lay-bye and hubby takes her behind the crash barrier for a wee. From what he reports it’s clearly not the first time this spot has been used in this way….

I don’t like using the lay-bye for this purpose and appreciate there are dangers to stopping there but I’m not sure what else we could have done. With the M25 traffic and the M3 roadworks I think it was at least 50 minutes between the previous M25 junction and the next M3 junction and literally nowhere we could stop between. So what else could we have done?

Am hoping they don’t fine people for using these lay-byes in a non-emergency, but given daughter literally about to wet herself isn’t it arguably a medical emergency anyway?

Also, the lay-bye was big enough for at least 3 other cars or an HGV so it’s highly unlikely we were depriving anyone else of using it

It's not about 'depriving' anyone. It's about them smashing into your car and killing your whole family.

Wow, I can't believe you actually asked such a ridiculous question. Of course it's wrong to do that, not only is it highly illegal, it's also highly dangerous. You put your child's life and your own at risk!!!

If a child started saying that they might need a wee I'd be looking for a toilet, definitely not thinking, oh she can last an hour, that's madness. Half an hour at a push, if there wasn't an alternative, but an HOUR!!

Not likely on a motorway when it is taking 50mins to go 3miles between each junction, so traffic is moving slower than a school zone.

Also, when a car breaks down such that you can go a mile to a lay-by, it doesn’t speed up, it usually slows down very suddenly and you limp or coast off to the side.

Oh my god. The pious ‘that’s so terrible’ posters here are being ridiculous. Of course it’s ok. She was desperate. You needed to stop. Not sure why this is even an issue! Mumsnet sometimes is just so 🙄

Have you actually bothered to read the thread?

If you had you would see why it is an issue...it is illegal and dangerous to stop in these areas unless it is an emergency, which needing a wee is not, no matter how desperate.

Yawn 🥱

Pious! I take it you have never seen a motorway car accident.

I have, thirty years ago when I was in my twenties and it was horrific. Everything happened so fast. I had to crawl inside a car which was on its side to try to get a child out of the back. I had to be boosted up on the side of the car which where the roof should be and go in through the window because I'm small and nobody else could fit. I got her seatbelt off but I couldn't get her out because I wasn't strong enough to move her and the stronger people couldn't get in.

She was cut out by the fire fighters eventually and I never found out what happened to her.

Yes keeping people alive is very much a “yawn” event

Bad traffic jam. Slow moving traffic. Not exactly the cataclysmic event you’re all piously bleating. Calm down.

It’s not terrible because “it’s the rules”, it’s terrible because the risk of death or serious injury to the child and her mother was very high. Fortunately, they were unharmed. What’s done is done but shouldn’t be done again.

Nobody was so dismissive of you when you posted about your husband being unwilling to shag you. You got nothing but support and advice.

Why come on to a forum to yawn?

Stalker

Having just recently renewed my Drivers Qualification Card, ad I am a PCV Licence holder, I'm aghast at your ignorance of safe driving procedures. I have watched more than several videos showing the outcome of motorway accidents. You are so vulnerable when in these safety bays or the hard shoulder. These should be used for emergencies only. Plan ahead to avoid this type of situation. That's what I did when my daughters were young.

We carry a large plastic jug in the car for my DS6 for emergencies. Maybe consider something similar to this lined with kitchen roll or something. Crude and not great but safer than stopping in a place like that.

Why easier for a DS? Boys can’t aim while sitting down you know. They also can’t stand up in a car and aim as there’s no room,l and taking off a seatbelt is far too dangerous.

You probably will get a fine as there are CCTV cameras at these stops. It’s how they know that’s a real emergency. You should have just let DD wet herself. You could have all been killed

Of course it is easier for boys.
That is one of the most ridiculous things I've read for a long time

OneForTheRoadThen · Yesterday 18:02
MrsSkylerWhite · Yesterday 12:40
Next time, would she agree to pull ups as a one off for the journey?
**
She's 9! She doesn't need a pull-up, she just needs not to neck loads of water before the journey and OP needs to plan toilet stops into the journey.

Ordinarily, I’d agree but I think motorway driving is different. We’re between homes atm and drive nearly 400 miles every couple of weeks. You can never predict accidents/jams. At 60, I’d have given anything for a pull up on a couple of occasions 😁

I don’t think some posters get the distinctions here:
(1) lay-by - get them on A and B roads, not motorways. Ok to pull into.
(2) hard shoulder - get them on motorways. Use only in an emergency. Ok to rejoin the carriageway but try to increase speed on the hard shoulder before doing so
(3) emergency refuge on smart motorway. Use only in an emergency. Assistance required to exit and rejoin carriageway.

OP was using (3). Given the requirements to get assistance to exit, I would have thought they are monitored.

Absolutely! DS just put his willy in the neck of an empty coke bottle!

It's only going to cause a problem stopping in an SOS bay/smart motorway if traffic is flowing normally due to lack of space to gain speed to re-join.

In the slow moving traffic you describe I would have done the same thing and stopped as opposed to letting her pee her seat!! Obviously ideally/perfect world there's stops planned to anticipate/prevent this from happening but these things happen.

Technically this could fall under improper use however which is punishable by 3 points and £100 fine, but I'd be really really surprised if this occurs. It tends to be used if an incident has occurred. Even if they saw what you did - all that's going to come of it "she was screaming, we worried it was a medical emergency we stopped - we realised she was desperate for the toilet and in pain...."

As a paramedic I've never been to an incident re someone pulling out of an SOS bay. What is absolutely a normal daily occurrence on the small stretch of M1 is lorries(and other vehicles but mostly lorries) barrelling into the back of broken down vehicles on the live inside lane as it takes so long for the people monitoring the cameras to recognise the obstruction, close the lane, vehicles to notice the lane closure and move out the lane. When I've had briefings about working on the motorways during incidents they warn us it can take upto 20mins for this procedure to occur.

What tends to happen is most people do see the obstruction and move out, but if you've got a limited view from a large vehicle in front of you - think of the trains of lorries you see - all you notice is the vehicle in front of you indicating to pull out - you presume they're going to overtake a slightly slower moving vehicle - as they pull out you're suddenly faced with a stationary vehicle in your path with no opportunity to stop in time. You can argue all you want about stopping distances and whos fault this is, but it's well recognised this happens daily - to the point where not to change the system back is absolute negligence and contributing to these accidents.

On a smart motorway I treat the inside lane as a hard shoulder still and won't ever drive in it. If you're ever unfortunate enough to break down in this lane flee your car regardless of the weather - absolutely expect your car to be hit hard. Driving in that lane is far more dangerous than someone stopping for a pee in an sos bay because they need a pee in slow moving traffic.

It's only going to cause a problem stopping in an SOS bay/smart motorway if traffic is flowing normally due to lack of space to gain speed to re-join.

I'm guessing there are some inexperienced drivers on here.

It's worth noting that no one has a 'right of way' on ANY slip road joining a motorway.

And when the motorway is busy, you often have to stop and join from a very low speed (as in an SOS bay.)

Yes, you can try to get up to 60mph to filter into Lane 1 to join the motorway. That's the ideal.

But often, if it's very busy ,you can run out of road (slip road)- the slip road ends and there is a white line at the end of it.

You have to stop and join when you can from a stationary position.

You cannot carry on driving beyond where the slip road runs out, if there is oncoming traffic in Lane 1 and no one moves to Lane 2/3 to let you out.

I have seen many near-accidents where people come off slip roads onto the motorway thinking they have 'right of way'. I've had to brake or swerve to avoid these drivers.

This is no different to joining from an SOS bay where you WAIT till Lane 1 is clear and there is a space to join.

@SleepyRich I was driving in the inside lane on a smart motorway and realised there was a stopped car ahead of me. There was nothing on the gantrys to warn me. I was shocked how little time there was between seeing the car and having to move across to the other lane. I can totally see how these accidents happen.

This is no different to joining from an SOS bay where you WAIT till Lane 1 is clear and there is a space to join

Your whole post is incorrect, unless you need to call highways every time you enter on a junction?