to stop in motorway SOS lay-by so DD could wee

[TheWrongBus]

Genuine question, curious if there is an official/legal answer.

Driving to West Country, inevitably stuck in bad traffic jams on M25, DD9 suggests she may need a wee at some point but we’re only about an hour away from our lunch stop so I tell her ideally we’ll push through.

What I didn’t realise is that she’d drunk half her (large) bottle of water before we left home. She admits this just as we’re joining the M3 where there are seemingly permanent roadworks, no hard shoulder and emergency SOS lay-byes only.

I check and we’re around 25 minutes from the next services and at least 15 minutes from the next junction. Daughter at this point starts to cry because she’s so desperate so we decide to pull into the SOS lay-bye and hubby takes her behind the crash barrier for a wee. From what he reports it’s clearly not the first time this spot has been used in this way….

I don’t like using the lay-bye for this purpose and appreciate there are dangers to stopping there but I’m not sure what else we could have done. With the M25 traffic and the M3 roadworks I think it was at least 50 minutes between the previous M25 junction and the next M3 junction and literally nowhere we could stop between. So what else could we have done?

Am hoping they don’t fine people for using these lay-byes in a non-emergency, but given daughter literally about to wet herself isn’t it arguably a medical emergency anyway?

Of course you shouldn't have stopped on the motorway to let a child have a wee! As others have said, it's illegal and very dangerous, and I hope you get fined for it. Why on earth did you join the motorway when your daughter had already told you she needed a wee? You really shouldn't be using motorways if you don't understand the rules.

@TheWrongBus hell no op , and this is from someone with 2 kids with chronic incontinence…if you think you have a child who may wet on a motorway journey, use a bed mat underneath then or put them in pull ups.

Daft and dangerous. They are designated as being for emergencies only for a reason. Either make sure she goes to the toilet before you join a motorway or have some emergency supplies in the car. You can’t risk this again and hopefully your DD is old enough to understand this too.

A relative did this last summer and was hit by a truck. She left three children and a husband behind.

How the fuck does someone pass their driving test and have to ask if this was reasonable?

No you don't stop on the motorway for a non-emergency, jesus christ

God, that's awful.

I think lots of people don't realise how dangerous the hard shoulder is. We had to pull in once when we got side-swiped by a lorry and it was genuinely scary.

YABU. This is so dangerous and you were putting the lives of everyone in that car at risk.

Do you use a satnav on your journeys? I use Waze even on known routes as I find it useful for alerting me to any problems along the way which gives me a better opportunity to plan ahead.

Layby

That’s what service stations are for
needing a wee is not an emergency

So how long does 4 or 6 miles take when you’re traveling at 50mph?

Answer: a few minutes.

You don’t need to necessarily get off the motorway and find a public toilet, just a lay-by or somewhere you can pull off to go behind some bushes as I’m sure we’ve all done at some point in our life. It doesn’t take long to find this.

It might not be an official emergency, but we’ve stopped twice on the M25 hard shoulder to let Gds of 3 or 4 have a wee. It was a question both times of a max of about 2 minutes, and yes, I know you’re not supposed to, but I honestly can’t feel bad or guilty about it.
Please don’t worry about it any more, OP.

There's no "arguably" about it - it's NOT a medical emergency. If she wets herself and the seat, that's your problem and not an excuse for illegal use of an emergency area.

6 miles at 30mph (allowing for the crap M3) is still only 12 minutes

Did it myeelf last week on the M11 op - l was swearing l was that desperate. Wasn't ideal but felt like l had no choice and would rather never have to do it again.

You're incredibly lucky that nothing happened to any of you.

What a stupid thing to do - honestly.

it will take quite a while to get off the motorway, even then you need to be a local to find toilets

I don't know this route well enough to comment on the accuracy of the time it would have taken to get off but you should have aimed for the first opportunity to leave the motorway. In urgent situations you don't drive around looking for the nearest public loos, you find a tree or hedge to go behind!

I met a couple on holiday once that did exactly this - pulled onto the hard shoulder to have a desperate pee. Police caught them and they were charged/fined.

Sweating not swearing!

That is not ok, you can't stop on the motorway just for a pee. Plan better!

I can think of some fairly minor health/medical reasons where it would be acceptable to stop - but only if it was the driver, and therefore you'd otherwise cause an accident. If a passenger is sick etc you just need to keep driving to the next exit.

And with grandkids. If my parents did this they wouldn't be allowed the kids again.

Different doing it once like OP and the seeing the issue to doing it regularly and not caring.

What over-dramatic rubbish. 2 minutes on an empty hard shoulder, on a road we’re very familiar with. It wasn’t dark, or even during the rush hour.

Your fault

She should have 'gone' before the motorway but her wetting herself is not the end of the world

What you did was incredibly dangerous - what if you'd been hit by a lorry?

I hope you were caught on camera/

sorry wrong person!

I always have some sort of container with a lid in the car for this sort of thing. Never had to use it for a wee yet, but it was very useful when my daughter suddenly felt sick with not much warning. She threw up in it and we put the lid on and waited until the next services to sort it out.

Which is better
a) wet pants and car seat or
b) dead?

We've had vomiting and wet car seats. No stopping for those
We've also had a flat on the motorway and sat behind the car (we weren't near a barrier) and it was very scary. Took about 40 minutes for the AA to come. It was 4 years ago and the DCs still talk about how loud it was.