To not have apologised to people near us about my toddler's behaviour on plane ?

[yellowandredcar]

My toddler was just a bit fed up of travelling not silently sitting on the plane. She was a bit loud and excited at times. At times we had to keep telling her to sit down as she tried to stand on her seat. There were many other kids making noise too. We did our very best to keep her quiet and keep her happy. She cried occasionally and occasionally made some noise. It wasn't excessive but the amount you'd expect when there's a small child on a plane.

I noticed people looking and didn't feel like apologising because it was nothing extreme and also she wasn't encroaching on their space.

The man in front of me reclined his seat immediately before we even took off. So I didn't think he deserved any kind of apology about my kids making some noise occasionally.

Also, we were doing our best. We were not ignoring our children or allowing bad behaviour. So I don't see what I need to apologise for. I just ignored the looks but felt like they may have expected an apology. I could be wrong of course.

I have apologised in the past for my kids. If they've kicked the seat in front of it they walk into someone's path etc. but I don't think it's necessary to apologise for children not being silent for a couple of hour flight.

Would you just always apologise because you have a child with you who's made a noise ?

I wouldn't expect an apology, but I would expect you to be seeking to get your child to behave, which you were doing. It is the parents who make no effort and refuse to accept their child's behaviour is sometimes not OK that I object to.

Agreed, it's a bit strange to have been on holidays with kids and flown home and be so fixated on a glance you got on the plan that you make a mumsnet thread on it justifying your choices

Haha @YellowphantGrey thast right but it’s the (non well behaved) kids that make the most noise which cause people to get upset. If drunks no problem.
there was an incident on Friday where a flight got into Melbourne and one adult passenger opened the emergency exit and walked along the wing, while the plane came into the airport!

Honestly your kids were probably fine. it’s you I’m giving the side eye.

This smacks of “look at me I’m oppressed just because I have kids” when the worst I’ve seen described is a ‘look’ from one couple.

In other words…it’s a nonevent and it’s weird that you’re dwelling on it.

I agree to this I never sleep the night before a flight if I'm lucky it'll be two or 3 nights and my face will show that.. So if does happen to be a day flight I would eventually like to catch up on my sleep even if the flight was for 3/4 hours. Although it's been 5. I didn't realise it was a no-no on day flights very interesting!

Yes you should apologise.

Your kids, your problem. Don't make them other people's.

Noise btw doesn't stay just where you sit.

I'm lucky, my kids were calm and did nothing on planes or when travelling tbh they mainly slept. You need to find a way to calm your kids down too.

YABU

Seat backs are supposed to be in the upright position for take off and landing.

So nobody should be reclining their seat before take off.

Unless it was a high pitched scream down someone's ear I would never apologise for a child making noise, nor would I expect and apology.

Not specific to your post, op, but, today, I was on a flight during which a toddler screamed for a good part of it. I really felt for the parents as they couldn't not have been aware of how much it was affecting everyone - tbh, it was so high pitched, it hurt. My thoughts, though, were also with those who may be nervous flyers - this child screamed so much and so loudly, nobody could hear any announcements, including the safety ones.
I couldn't wait for the flight to end and I'm quite sure his parents couldn't either.

It can be such a distressing situation for everyone - passengers, crew, parents and the child.

I think it's important that parents show that they are aware and care about the behaviour of their children and its effect on others by trying their best to monitor / control it. People will be more understanding then. Unfortunately, though, some parents spoil it for others by letting their offspring do what they like without setting any disciplines or boundaries

I wouldn’t apologise because if they have ears they will hear me telling them to behave etc and if you’ve ever had/have kids, you would understand that it’s just as stressful for the parents too and you don’t want to annoy and upset anyone. As long as you’re not letting them run riot then it is what it is…it’s only for a few hours. I say this pre first family holiday so I guess I’ll see what’s what myself next week 😬

I remember those long flights from Beijing and Sydney. I am not talking about babies of course or children that have medical problems. There are two sorts of parents, those that come prepared with reading books, quite toys and other activities etc and those other parents that are surprised that their darlings don’t want to sit and twiddle their thumbs,

They will have done this.

Depends on the flight! I think when leg room is already tight it’s selfish to recline when you have something like a 4/5 hour flight. It not always easy to get an extra legroom flight and before now I can barely move because leg room is so tight . I’m 5.11

I think it's just polite to apologise when something inconveniences other people.

It's not an admission of wrongdoing or feeling that you have to apologise, it's just polite in most situations to acknowledge that even if it's not your fault, other people are effected and that's what the apology is for.

And 99% of the time, people will appreciate it and give grace.

I tend to do that thing where I apologise not because I'm sorry but more as an acknowledgement that others might be annoyed and I want them to know I'm aware. Not sure why I do that though, my husband thinks I'm ridiculous for doing so.

We recently had a kid on our flight cry for four hours straight, from before take off until after landing, and I just felt sorry for the parents who were quite clearly both exhausted and mortified. It's easy enough to tune out other people's kids on an already noisy airplane, but significantly harder when it's your own 🤪

@yellowandredcar
if air travel is so antiquated why put yourself , kids and other passengers through it
go on a boat

Drunks are a massive fucking problem.

A kid is badly behaved but will eventually snap out of it, drunks choose to get into such a state they think their behaviour should be acceptable.

But that's just typical narrative to support that children shouldn't be allowed anywhere unless perfectly behaved but we have to accept the drunken chavvy behaviour of (mostly) men on flights.

I've taken a crying baby or bored toddler on a flight before now to give parents a break.

One ended up sitting on my lap for the entire flight and went back to parents for landing!

Again I find it odd we tolerate badly behaved adults and excuse them but do nothing to help other parents

But presumably you're not suggesting everyone should be willing to do this? And, out of interest, would you place the same expectation on a man?

I don’t believe that the stewards would have allowed this, they always walk down and check seats are upright. Are you using this as an excuse or deflection of you and your child’s behaviour?

This.

The only time I've ever been on a plane with a bad enough behaved child to register it was the airline that was being super apologetic and giving us loads of free booze. The kid was running off and spitting on people. We got a bottle of champagne and then a bottle of duty free whisky the second time, I was kinda hoping he'd keep doing it.

Someone would have to be behaving really really badly before I was thinking they might apologise, I can't imagine they've had a very good time either

Jet2 seats can't recline. One of the reasons they are best airline. It may be okay on long haul flights but less than 3 hours you are having a laugh.
The amount of rubbish left is disgusting. The crew make multiple announcements about handing rubbish over. Makes you wonder what state these people live in.
I am one of those people who want to get off first. I am organised and ready to leave. Really annoying to have to wait for people who suddenly seem to remember they have cases etc to collect