To not have apologised to people near us about my toddler's behaviour on plane ?

[yellowandredcar]

My toddler was just a bit fed up of travelling not silently sitting on the plane. She was a bit loud and excited at times. At times we had to keep telling her to sit down as she tried to stand on her seat. There were many other kids making noise too. We did our very best to keep her quiet and keep her happy. She cried occasionally and occasionally made some noise. It wasn't excessive but the amount you'd expect when there's a small child on a plane.

I noticed people looking and didn't feel like apologising because it was nothing extreme and also she wasn't encroaching on their space.

The man in front of me reclined his seat immediately before we even took off. So I didn't think he deserved any kind of apology about my kids making some noise occasionally.

Also, we were doing our best. We were not ignoring our children or allowing bad behaviour. So I don't see what I need to apologise for. I just ignored the looks but felt like they may have expected an apology. I could be wrong of course.

I have apologised in the past for my kids. If they've kicked the seat in front of it they walk into someone's path etc. but I don't think it's necessary to apologise for children not being silent for a couple of hour flight.

Would you just always apologise because you have a child with you who's made a noise ?

You’re probably overthinking tbh! People know that flying with young children is hard. That said, if you felt like you got the same look from multiple people it may have been a bit much? We shamelessly use tablets with ours on planes and I do apologise - not always because I’m actually sorry, but because sometimes people offer something you might not think of in a stressful moment.

I don' think Ryanair seats have ever reclined, they are fairly lightweight basic.

Presumably the steward made him un-recline for take-off as seats must always be in the upright position...

This summer I was on a flight with my 18 month old and in a similar situation. I did apologise to the people in front and behind during the flight. After that they were very gracious and were making faces and talking to my baby when he peaked through at them. At the end of the flight the people behind said how well he'd done on the flight and the people in front smiled at us.

My feeling is in your scenario you are not obliged to apologise but you may find it gives you some good will from other passengers and eases the flight for everyone.

In regards to the man who reclined his seat during take off, I agree it's not on and causes a safety hazard. I can see how it could have happened once the cabin crew had taken there seats. I would have asked him politely to have it up right until the seat belt sign was turned off and then called the cabin crew if he refused.

Good luck on your next flight!

I guarantee you are thinking about this long after those other passengers have forgotten it.

Let it go.

No way mine would have been well behaved on a flight, not disturbing others, when babies/toddlers/young children SO we didn’t take them. Once the youngest was of an age where they would definitely behave to required standards we started plane travel with the kids. It does irritate me when others impose their kids behaviour on me when I was polite and didn’t impose that same behaviour on others. I do understand the rare case of a young child having to fly unexpectedly if both parents are attending a funeral or whatnot but that’s really not the deal with the 99% of the young kids I experience on planes.

Edited to add, no we didn’t live near family. My family was a plane flight away so in that period either they came to us, or if/when too old/unwell then telephone it was for the kids/grandparents/aunts etc. A few times if there was a medical issue with them, I just flew myself and kids stayed at home with DH. It still wasn’t an excuse to annoy other passengers.

I have never been on a fight where someone was allowed to do this. Cabin staff have to check and insist on upright seats

Couldn't agree more, drunks are the worst and I have no idea why some are allowed on the flight. Swearing, shouting to their friends, inappropriate comments. Give me a noisy toddler any day.

I rather like having kids on flights, it makes it more fun somehow, up to the point where they are clearly not being controlled at all, then parents need to step in. The fact you're asking the question, OP, kind of suggests that you know it was pissing people off. But clowns reclining seats and ignoring safety instructions totally outweigh those issues for me.

Sounds like a flight from hell, TBH. Hope it was short haul!

No, OP, it's you who seems to be making a mountain out of a molehill.

It sounds like Completely normal behavior from your child and you dealt with it perfectly.

If people want to travel in silence, they need to hire a private jet! It's not like the plane itself is quiet with the engines etc.

As a pp has mentioned, I've had flights ruined by noisy adults and never had an apology. I'd much rather listen to a child being a child that doesn't know better, than a rowdy adult that has full control over their behaviour.

Adults often forget we where all children once and we've all had to learn how to behave in public. It's not something you are born knowing.

Ah good to see this descending into a discussion about reclining seats on planes as this is a new and fresh topic in MN that to my knowledge has not been debated 1000 times before. Good job everyone!

To all posters - no one went back to make him put his seat back up. The cabin crew was sitting in their seats already strapped in. The plane was taking off. The guy just kept his seat reclined during that time. What can you do. It is what it is. Why do people not believe this happened ? It did !

Regarding the other people looking. It was a young couple on our row.

Other people behind that were a bit older remarked after the flight that they remember those days well and we should enjoy our kids as much as possible as they grow up so fast.

@BoredAuditor but that's what I meant. My husband said the same, that I am making a mountain out of a molehill and that no one looked or cared and that our kid was fine and that we did our best etc etc and not to worry about it.

Well if you are the parent of Reuben and the little girl who’s name was something beginning with A (Ayla maybe) then it was us sat in front of you and your kids were arseholes!

Screaming, shouting and kicking our seats. And parents were very ineffective in efforts to get them to stop (think loud parenting done only for the benefit of others, empty pathetic threats of getting the nasty flight attendant to take them off the plane)

I can cope with normal kid noise, these kids were little brats.

Not our kids names no. Sorry you had a bad flight.

To be honest it's probably all in your head but flights are a bit of a pressure cooker anyway, no one is going to enjoy them regardless.
The main thing I would do is be seen to be trying to deal with the child, and just try your best. If anyone says anything or glares you can make an apologetic look but honestly I'd expect half the people to be feeling sympathetic to you as well!

Found a couple of articles about how airlines are scrapping reclining seats in their economy cabins, like this one in The Sun. William McGee, a senior fellow for aviation and travel at the American Economic Liberties Project said: "There's no question this can be good news for air travellers.
"The airlines have pitted passenger against passenger in the ‘right to recline’ wars and it's led to discomfort, fist fights, arrests, and overall misery.
"When reclining inconveniences and disturbs the passengers behind, then it's problematic."

Budget airlines in Europe scrapped the option for passengers to put their seats back years ago, with Ryanair ditching the option back in 2004.

Airlines across the globe are opting to ditch reclining seats for lighter options. Plane seats without reclining mechanisms are lighter than those seats that can fully recline. For airlines lighter seats can only be a good thing because it'll reduce the weight onboard and therefore the cost of jet fuel.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/travel/27354596/airlines-ditching-reclining-seats-economy/#:~:text=TAKE%20OFF-,Airlines%20are%20scrapping%20reclining%20seats%20in%20economy%20%E2%80%93%20but,actually%20good%20news%20for%20passengers&text=AIRLINES%20are%20scrapping%20reclining%20seats%20in%20their%20economy%20cabins%20%2D%20but,even%20resulted%20in%20serious%20altercations.

It’s extremely bad courtesy to put your seat back straight away. Means the person behind has no space at all and can’t eat etc.

Its only acceptable on a long haul flight when everyone is going to sleep.

This is why lots of planes have removed the option.

No you don’t have to apologise for a toddler being a toddler. It’s annoying when a child is playing up and the parents just ignore it but if they’re trying to calm them down it’s fine.

I would have apologised with a smile because its a simple acknowledgement that children make noise and that you understand that the affected person cannot move themselves away.

It also practically guarantees an understanding smile in response and by "giving" you are more likely to "receive": receive no eye rolling, which might make you feel pressure, or perhaps even a friendly comment like "oh yes, we've been there" and some friendly chat from them to your child, which might even occupy your child's interests for a bit and show them that people are nice to engage with. It's just social etiquette.

I find when I preempt and apologise, i often got a comment like "don't you worry, you've got nothing to apologise for, it's normal for little ones" which actually is quite nice and means others are less likely to be visibly hostile.

So no, you don't need to apologise for your child behaving like a child while you do your best, they have every right to exist. However a bit of emotional intelligence will benefit you, your child and your fellow flyers so I would choose to in your shoes.

If several people were looking it suggest that your child was indeed being disruptive - why not say a quick sorry?

For those against reclined seats, is this for flights under a certain duration? I can’t imagine staying in the upright position for long haul flights. Or perhaps keep them upright until cabin lights are dimmed?

You tell him to do as he's been told (they ALWAYS announce it) and if he refuses, press the call button. It's dangerous.

There’s a special place in hell for people who recline their seats. I see no need to debate this fact