To not have apologised to people near us about my toddler's behaviour on plane ?

[yellowandredcar]

My toddler was just a bit fed up of travelling not silently sitting on the plane. She was a bit loud and excited at times. At times we had to keep telling her to sit down as she tried to stand on her seat. There were many other kids making noise too. We did our very best to keep her quiet and keep her happy. She cried occasionally and occasionally made some noise. It wasn't excessive but the amount you'd expect when there's a small child on a plane.

I noticed people looking and didn't feel like apologising because it was nothing extreme and also she wasn't encroaching on their space.

The man in front of me reclined his seat immediately before we even took off. So I didn't think he deserved any kind of apology about my kids making some noise occasionally.

Also, we were doing our best. We were not ignoring our children or allowing bad behaviour. So I don't see what I need to apologise for. I just ignored the looks but felt like they may have expected an apology. I could be wrong of course.

I have apologised in the past for my kids. If they've kicked the seat in front of it they walk into someone's path etc. but I don't think it's necessary to apologise for children not being silent for a couple of hour flight.

Would you just always apologise because you have a child with you who's made a noise ?

Just quite selfish. The seat is fine in the position its in - for probably over 95% of passengers when not sleeping on a night flight. Reclining it immediately reduces the tiny amount of space the person behind has, stops them using the tray table and imposes a choice on them of either reclining and passing the issue on to someone else or accepting having someone's chair in your face.

If you think the passenger behind would say no if you asked them if they would mind you reclining your seat then its a shitty thing to do to recline your sear isnt it?

Again it's not about reclining the seat. It's about the fact he reclined it when we were actually taking off and climbing up. It's not safe and it was uncomfortable.

I loathe people who recline their seats on a short haul flight.

It’s an air navigation rule that seats are upright for take off and landing.

She sounds a pain. But I suppose its to be expected when you take small children on a plane.

Wouldnt expect an apology but if people were looking at you they were probably thinking your efforts to control your child's behaviour were pretty poor and you were not doing enough.

No-one is "entitled" to a foreign holiday and if your child is being a real pest maybe consider not flying until you can better manage their behaviour.

I don’t recline my seat on daytime flights but I don’t mind if the person in front does, outside of meal times and take off/landing.

It may just be one leg of a long journey for them and they may be jet lagged and not have slept.

I think it would be pretty selfish to object to them reclining when permitted.

Sometimes I look over where this are young children and parents wrangling them, I'm trying to look sympathetic and like we've all been there. It's not because I'm annoyed. I wouldn't expect an apology .

Re original op question. Kind of you to feel like apologising. As regards toddler travel, did you have toys, screens etc. to occupy? It’s definitely a very legitimate moment to deploy screens 🤣

It's perfectly possible for a toddler to be behaving well but still be a bit annoying to those around them. If that's the case a low key apology just serves to smooth things over and reassure others that you are aware and managing them. It doesn't mean you are saying you or your child are in the wrong. It's about acknowledging that everyone one crammed in a small space and we try to be decent about it.

But no need to go OTT like those endless cutesy messages 'from the baby' handed out with earplugs and chocolate to half the plane.

Sounds like you did fine! Once my baby cried LOTS before take off because some dickhead was arguing that he should be able to stay in the exit seat row with a broken leg and delaying take off. He swore at me, and I got upgraded, a mini bottle of champagne and a visit from the pilot, and they gave me the option of getting him kicked off the flight.

A toddler being a toddler wouldn't annoy me on a flight for a couple of hours, if it was longer I'd just put earplugs in. Would be different if the parent was in no way trying to placate them or distract them, which it sounds you were. It's older kids repeatedly shouting, jumping around, kicking my chair repeatedly and bouncing the tray up and down that pisses me off especially when the parents do nothing.

It takes up the tiny amount of space you have. It belongs to an era when planes were much less cramped. I guess fairly soon they’ll be some centralised system so it can only be done at night.

My toddler had a big cry on a recent flight (during turbulence), he was extremely overtired and over it. The lady next to us, across the aisle, kept looking at us.

Once the seatbelt sign was off I took him to the back and rocked him to sleep in my arms. The lady next to us glanced at me as I returned and I said, "I'm so sorry for before, he was really over tired" and she said, "I thought so, I would recognise that type of cry anywhere."

I don't understand why you wouldn't just say sorry? It's just sharing sympathy with other people who are not in their ideal situation either? "I shouldn't have to" seems a bit mean spirited in the hell that is economy class.

Well, everyone dreads being near young children on a flight, but anyone who is a parent understands the problems.

Out of control behaviour is unacceptable but just chatter is nothing to apologise for.

I was on a flight near a young family who were sitting apart. Mum had young baby and dad was lumbered with a very chatty little boy - who had a very loud voice! His dad kept trying to get him to talk more quietly, but he was saying such funny things I don't think anyone really minded. He reminded me very much of DS at that age in fact.

It's perfectly possible for a toddler to be behaving well but still be a bit annoying to those around them. If that's the case a low key apology just serves to smooth things over
Why would you apologise for perfectly normal toddler behaviour. That's just saying sorry my child exists and is taking up space in a public place. Ick.

In the friendliest way possible: the other people who were on the flight have already long forgotten your toddler's behaviour.

I've never seen anyone stare at normal kid noise so if multiple people were staring it would suggest there was an issue coupled with fact you made a thread about it.
I wonder if you would have made more effort to calm your toddler if the person in front hadn't reclined their seat and in your view deserved to have their journey ruined as they ruined yours....

Because we exist in a society and the behaviour of our children can impact on other people even when not maliciously intended, and acknowledging this is a nice thing to do.

Presumably more people than just the seat-reclining passenger were affected by the noise of your toddler?

They shouldn't recline it before take off other than that there is no problem.

I expect noise from children - I hope that the parents will try to moderate it, for the circumstances - eg. if you’re on the beach or in the park, no limits, but in somewhere like a plane/train/bus, indoor voices and no shrieking/screaming, if possible.

I have had three energetic, excitable small children, so I know it is not easy, and sometimes impossible to keep the noise down as much as you want, but if I can see the parents are doing their best, that’s all I ask. And if they are having a nightmare time with a child who is having a tantrum or very upset, or simply not listening to mum and dad right now, I will pass a sympathetic comment about how it can all be hard work, and not to worry.

That's very true.

The only toddler behaviour I remember from many flights was one coming home from a holiday in Cyprus where the toddler screamed solidly for about 5 hours. I felt a terrible person for feeling irritated as thought they were probably poorly - but then saw them later running about at baggage reclaim all smiles and without a care in the world!

I apologise to people by having never taken my kids on a plane 🤣. I know it would be an absolute nightmare lol. One day I will but god, not yet.

We flew back from Hong Kong on a night flight earlier this year and the couple to the side of us had a little girl who was just unsettled all flight. Lots of crying and trying to walk around. I felt nothing but sympathy for the parents who were doing their best. They said sorry to us and my DH (who was closer) just said that we’d all been there before (we were with our 13 and 11 year old) and it would get easier in the future!

Personally I normally quite like being near children on a flight as they always take to me (I have a friendly face I think!) and I get to wave and chat and everyone is happy. I long to be asked to hold a baby while a parent attends to something, but so far it hasn’t happened yet.