To not have apologised to people near us about my toddler's behaviour on plane ?

[yellowandredcar]

My toddler was just a bit fed up of travelling not silently sitting on the plane. She was a bit loud and excited at times. At times we had to keep telling her to sit down as she tried to stand on her seat. There were many other kids making noise too. We did our very best to keep her quiet and keep her happy. She cried occasionally and occasionally made some noise. It wasn't excessive but the amount you'd expect when there's a small child on a plane.

I noticed people looking and didn't feel like apologising because it was nothing extreme and also she wasn't encroaching on their space.

The man in front of me reclined his seat immediately before we even took off. So I didn't think he deserved any kind of apology about my kids making some noise occasionally.

Also, we were doing our best. We were not ignoring our children or allowing bad behaviour. So I don't see what I need to apologise for. I just ignored the looks but felt like they may have expected an apology. I could be wrong of course.

I have apologised in the past for my kids. If they've kicked the seat in front of it they walk into someone's path etc. but I don't think it's necessary to apologise for children not being silent for a couple of hour flight.

Would you just always apologise because you have a child with you who's made a noise ?

Right up until the poor bastard in the last row who can’t recline.

Reclining seats should be banned. Flying economy is a team sport. You’ve got to work together to make it as bearable as possible.

Okay, I hear you on that you have to trust to your judgement.

I just think I would have apologised anyway just for the fact that they were indicating to me that they had been disturbed.

Appreciate the difficulties of travelling with young children.

The OP has explained that he reclined his seat after the cabin crew were themselves seated and strapped in and the plane was actually taking off.

To be honest I think the young couple was being unreasonable, if they expected an apology for normal behaviour and parents doing their best to control it. Also the kids slept most of the flight.

To the posters still not believing me about the reclined seat during take off.. this is what happened.

The flight attendants were seated and had no idea the seat was reclined. It was not reclined when they did their checks. Is it so hard to believe ??

It was at a level that has you wondering so yes remember they are only cute to you. Even if my son steps out Infront of somebody's path my brain automatically says sorry lol

someone pinne me in my seat on a long haul fligt fair enough thheyre allowe but still hhuffed an puffed when i asked to get out to use the loo

they werent even asleep just watchhing tv

Not the point of the post but it really annoys me when someone reclines their seat on a daytime flight. Fair enough for sleeping during night flights when the lights are dimmed, but so, so rude otherwise. Aeroplane etiquette is a thing of the past it seems.

Staff should do way more to stop passengers reclining seats inappropriately. Ultimately they don’t intervene because they are afraid of the passengers kicking off and getting aggressive.

I was once on a 24 hour fight and the people in front had their seat reclined the entire time including through all meals. It was miserable.

Yet it’s toddlers acting their age who are the problem.

So you like it? It's barely changed in the last 50 years. In fact, you used to have more space on a plane back in the day. They're just squeezing more and more people onto a plane. It's not good. I just think the industry needs some sort of massive innovation / overhaul.

Pre-DC, when I was a young adult travelling with my then boyfriend (now DH), I had completely unrealistic expectations about how young children should behave (probably also conditioned by my upbringing). Nothing short of the sort of weighty purposeful silence you find on London commuter trains would have satisfied me.

And as I watched all the hapless incompetent parents struggling with their badly behaved noisy brats, I imagined my future progeny (all four of them) sitting quietly in a line reading their books, nary a whisper to be heard and absolutely no demands for unhealthy snacks, perish the thought!

I’m particularly invested in the reclining seat issue as I had to endure it for 14 hours recently. The girl in front fully reclined as soon as she sat down (daytime flight) and I pushed back. Eventually she called the cabin crew who told me I needed to allow her to recline and would have to recline myself. They weren’t sympathetic to the argument that perhaps those of us in the rows behind her didn’t want to recline for the entirety of the flight. This was BA Premium economy so not even the basic seats, utter misery.

You can’t do this if the plane is actually taking off though - the air crew need to be strapped in at some point!

I would always smile and thank whoever we were sitting next to for their patience and tolerance at the end of the flight, even though they didn't really cause any nuisance. I kept them well entertained and tried to fly at times they would be sleeping as much as possible.
No one really wants to be seated near a baby of toddler on a plane, and I have imposed my kids on them.so yes I think a recognition of this is the polite thing to do

Like many modern parents, you sound as though you think other people should put up with your children’s poor behaviour. From walking my children knew never to stand on seats or to make a noise above normal volume. It sounds like a you problem because you didn’t take enough activities, snacks, and distraction ideas with you for the flight. if your children cannot sit still on a plane and cannot behave in a way that doesn’t distract other passengers or disturb or upset them then you should stick to holidays where you don’t need to fly.
Your right to fly does not Trump other peoples right to a peaceful flight. You are being unreasonable and you should have apologised .

I took a 3 hour flight yesterday. There was a parent behind me with a toddler and a 5 year old either side of them. Toddler had an ipad with little games and videos playing (no headphones), and kicked my seat a bit for a couple of spells. It was no more than mildly irritating. No apologies are needed IMO.

However, someone reclining for a whole flight is fucking intolerable, compeltely selfish and unnecessary. As are people who take their shoes off!

YABU.

At first you said during take off, and then afterwards changed to whilst climbing.

I know we are not in the US, but we have no idea where/who you were flying with, and many regulations are closely aligned. I seem to remember the take-off phase was something like 1500 feet, certainly much less that climbout - so the passenger was probably fine reclining at that point. Unless crew instructed him otherwise, he did nothing wrong.

However, this part was you just trying to reduce your own guilt because your choices were causing discomfort to others.

We seem to have changed from a society where people have to behave to being entitled and can then behave however they personally feel is appropriate. If you and your child cannot behave in polite society without interfering with others, then no, you are not 'entitled' to have a holiday - legally maybe, but you need to wait until all your family can behave to fit in and be respected. Same in restaurants, cinema, theatre, etc. if people not directly sat next to you are aware you have a child without looking, then you are in the wrong.

Possibly, I do think more leeway would be given by others on a short-haul charted holiday plane to rather than a scheduled flight. The behaviour expectations are more in-line with excited children - but still not crying babies or toddlers outside of landing pressure causing pain.

Toddler had an ipad with little games and videos playing (no headphones)

Nah. That's just so inconsiderate. Other people are stuck in the tin can, too.

But during take off, you are climbing !

It wasn't the whole flight, it wasn't insanely loud, and I chose to see it as a preventative measure. I did have my own headphones so I could retreat anyway. Most people did.

This

Well obviously if you were getting looks, your child was being more annoying than the average child on a plane

I don't understand why you started this thread OP? You don't think you needed to apologise for their behaviour, nobody commented negatively on their behaviour, just a look from a young couple. I don't understand what your issue is.

The man in front reclined his seat? What a scumbag. He should be apologising to you!!!

You can get this, it's called Business or First Class. I do think child free planes should be a thing

I worked with someone who was an expert in passenger safety for airlines once. He said the number one way to survive in an emergency situation where you need to leave the plane, is to keep your shoes on. (Imagine trying to stampede to the exit/slide down that big inflatable slide without!) Also, don’t go down the gangway to the emergency exits - go over the tops of the seats. I think of him every time I get on a plane!