Does anyone else not really have any friends?

[Hernamewaslola22]

Wondering if it's just me. I have friends at work and 1 or 2 out of work...we very very rarely do anything together. I spend most weekends completely alone. I feel like most women have these big groups of girlfriends.

how do people come out with this rubbish?
Have you never left your house? Do you not have social media?

When you are outside or online and see groups of women together, at the theatre, on holiday, out shopping, in weddings, hen parties, at a bar, post sports match...do you think one of them has paid the rest to turn up and pretend to know them or something?

I don't know how someone can live in the world and, against all empirical evidence, legitimately believe that people (men and women) don't have groups of friends.

Some people have absolutely loads of friends.
Some don't have any.
Most people probably fall somewhere in the middle.

I do have friends but only because I make a massive effort. I have zero family so I need these friends. None of them are from my childhood/school though. They’re from later in life & I would be incredibly lost & lonely without them.

My mum cut all her friends out for the smallest thing & I vowed never to do this. Obvs unless they behaved badly!

Yep me.. I have friends at work but don't do much outside of work as they usually work 60+ hours a week. I have a good friend I talk to often but don't see them as I moved away a while ago. I spend time with my husband and son and am happy with that. I would, however, have liked to make friends at DSs school as he would have had a better social life outside of school. I have bad social anxiety, although I speak to them haven't formed anything more which makes me feel guilty

I think the point is, that if you dug deeper many of these people are not close friends.

I could have a birthday party and invite 100 people and look like I’ve loads of friends. But when it comes down to it I have a handful of people I could call to go for a coffee or a walk. I just have a large social circle of acquaintances because I’m involved in many things.

It’s interesting that you say that. I remember someone commenting to me that when her father died, there were loads of ex colleagues and friends at his funeral but by the time her mother died, she was so old that her workplace no longer remembered her and her friends were long dead

I don’t and it’s so lonely. I would love some friends more than anything

Sometimes you can have lots of friends and then things happen like divorce or illness or having a disabled child and people will just dump you.

I’ve realised some of the worst people I know have the largest group of friends, which never seems to make any sense.

i had an epiphany in my early 40s that so many friendships I had were based entirely on me making all the effort and my ‘friends’ did nothing but talk about themselves and literally never asked about me at all. When I decided to stop making the effort I lost loads of friends, but were they even friends?

I had to really think about this as l was about to say l don't have many friends, but it's not true.

I recently decided not to keep contacting one friend as its too one sided. My other oldest friend is ok. Then l have friends lve made in various workplaces. Sometimes it's a bit quiet, but in the next 2-3 weeks lm meeting 3 individual friends separately then a larger group for different things.

I would never work from home all the time now l'm not living with someone.

But then l also put effort in, join Facebook groups, say good morning to people l walk past in the street...it's not easy but you gotta put yourself out there. Also hobbies, great for making friends!

In my community everyone's sociable and has a massive group of friends, which makes it harder for a quieter introvert like me. My dh is a sociable extrovert and I honestly think there's something wrong with me as I've always struggled to maintain friendships.

I have three female friends and I see each of them two or three times a year. Go out with work friends about that much too. So I would say not many friends I actually see but I also don't feel I have the time or energy for more social interaction.

I have a couple of close friends who I holiday/go to events with I've never wanted to be apart of a group because I'm naturally a problem solver/giving person and I feel like it couid get time consuming and has done in the past.

Not a single one, I speak to people I work with via teams as we work remotely, but in person I only have my partner and my parents.

Oh dear. Try working full-time as a single mother of two DC and no childcare. That does for your social life.

I have absolutely none. I tried when we moved here, but I gave up eventually. I’m just too awkward and don’t fit in.

I wfh so I don’t even have coworkers that I might have lunch with.

😢 no one is too awkward to fit in. You haven't found your tribe yet.

I don’t. I’m close to a couple if work colleagues but don’t see them outside of work. DSis and I like the same music so we go to festivals and concerts together. Like I told DH when he was taking the piss because I have no friends “I don’t really want any, they expect you to do stuff…..like leave the house” 😂

What a helpful response. Nasty cow

I have none at all.

My social life never really recovered from me dragging myself out of the gutter. I had a huge group of friends, until I didn't want to do drugs anymore. Or be the one who always had to drive/pay for things. Or be the one carefully choosing gifts for friends special occasions, but everyone else forgot about my 18th birthday. (Edited to add, also my 21st).

I've just never really connected with anyone since, though it's probably my own fault for being closed off. I just don't trust people much anymore.

To be honest, having no friends is better than having fake ones that are happy to use you when needed.

The thoughtfulness and paying for things is why I now have 2 friends I decided I was done with that and kept the 2 tho reciprocated best decision! I hope you find the people you deserve.

Well of course, it’s good for people who don’t see people in IRL to have discussions online instead.

I have none either BTW, had none at school or uni (didn’t go out once at uni either, lived at home with my mum) so as a previous poster said I must be screwed.

Nope me neither.

I've moved around the UK too much and have got tired of making new friends each time. This is the sixth time in 18 years and I've failed to make a local friend in 5 years. It was easier when DC were toddlers as I forced myself to various activities for them and made friends through that.

Now they're older teens and the parents all avoid each other like the plague 😅

Although I'm quite happy with my DH and my DM being my only friends, it does make me feel quite vulnerable at times tbh.

What will happen to us friendless types when we get old and there is no one to make sure we are looked after and not exploited?

I don't really have friends I see from one week to the next. I have a small group of friends from sixth form college I see a couple of times a year. We are spread all over England and one lives in Scotland. We generally don't contact each other unless it's to arrange a weekend together where we meet at one person's house (off to Scotland tomorrow for the weekend for a catch up) or to wish each other happy birthday. My husband and I met at uni and meet up a couple of times a year with another couple we met there, but we live about 2 hours drive away from them. I have people from work I am friendly with, but we don't generally meet up outside of work. I'd like a proper friend but working and having a family gets in the way. I'm quite a private person which doesn't help and I do enjoy my own company.

I have quite a lot of friends but I have always avoided huge groups as prefer one to one or small groups. I do belong to a women hiking group and I sign up for the small walks not the 20 plus ones.

I have a group of 7 friends, and two other groups of 3 and 5. I put a lot of effort into maintaining these friendships-All of us do. These are friendships of 20 plus years.