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Cleaner found my toy - need to emigrate

260 replies

Alaskabound · 23/08/2024 15:53

Am I being unreasonable to go to Alaska, or would even further be more appropriate? Would have to be English speaking, but i would be sending for the DCs when the dust settles so i can’t afford Australia. Unless they go overland… Hmm.

DCs at a sleepover last night. A night alone meant the first time I could have some me time in six loooooong weeks of summer holiday. So obviously I used my rabbit thruster three times in 10 hours discerningly checked to see if my discreet adult toy was still working in case it were ever to be called upon. Unfortunately I left it on the bedside table because I was getting the last one in casually strolling out to pick the DCs up. The cleaner has been, and has placed it in a drawer. The cleaner who I know from the school playground and to whom I have never said a word other than to discuss cleaning and make small talk.

So the question is, is there an Air Alaska or should I go via American / United and change at their hubs? I will check for responses whilst packing. Thanks.

OP posts:
Miffylou · 23/08/2024 17:51

Nice one!

comingintomyown · 23/08/2024 17:51

Fahran · 23/08/2024 17:19

It reminds me of that BBC TV interview with Yvette Amos during covid where there was a big pink toy clearly visible on a shelf in the background.

Edited

😂

Nightjar33 · 23/08/2024 17:51

I was at a friend’s mums funeral and a smal group of us went back to her house ended up having a karaoke.
After going to the loo her sister who was pissed and came downstairs saying it’s my turn to sing and produced a large vibrator to use as a microphone. 🤣🤣

Yozzer87 · 23/08/2024 17:54

InspectorSpacetime · 23/08/2024 17:45

I had a collection of toys that I never much used (don't get on with them, though DH would keep buying them!). When he was away I decided to take them all to the tip, along with some other crap to get rid of, one of which was one of those LED face masks I never used either. As I loaded them into the boot, I had horrible visions of having a car accident and the paramedics/police investigating the car and coming across a bag of dildos and a gimp mask.

I have never driven so carefully in my life as I did to the tip that day! Luckily I disposed of my items successfully.

Oh come on now. For someone who never got on with toys you wouldn't have had a load of dildos and a gimp mask jeez.

Alaskabound · 23/08/2024 17:58

shellyleppard · 23/08/2024 17:45

@Alaskabound my son and his friend found my vibrator when they were about 7 years older, I came upstairs as it was suspiciously quiet 😳😳 can you hide yours under a pillow to muffle the noise??

Muffle it with a pillow whilst in use? Not sure I have the dexterity for that, but I definitely don’t have the will. I’m in mum mode when they’re around, even when they’re asleep! Normally it’s fine because I work from home but the six week summer holidays is a long stretch!

OP posts:
steadywinner · 23/08/2024 18:01

Newname71 · 23/08/2024 16:04

Crying here 😂.
My mum found mine!! We were emptying the drawers under my bed to move it so a guy could sand the floorboards. (He was waiting on the landing)
She accidentally switched it on! It was vibrating and thrusting in her hand and she couldn’t turn it off!! 😂😂
She hastily wrapped it in a t shirt ran past him and threw it into the bathroom!

Omg I'm dying 😂😂😂

InspectorSpacetime · 23/08/2024 18:01

Yozzer87 · 23/08/2024 17:54

Oh come on now. For someone who never got on with toys you wouldn't have had a load of dildos and a gimp mask jeez.

I meant the LED facemask might look suspicious if you didn't know what it was!

LoneHydrangea · 23/08/2024 18:04

God, who cares? Don’t most adult women have vibrators? It should not be a source of shame.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 23/08/2024 18:05

A bit more 70’s me and my mate were in her parents attic and found a copy of The Joy of Sex fully illustrated from the days before anyone shaved anything.
We were only 10 and were fascinated.
Now everything is much more out in the open - literally.
Have you thought about breaking the law? Nothing violent, but just enough to get you a little spell visiting His Majesty.
Now there’s a question.
Has anyone been caught smuggling a vibrator into
a prison?

Alaskabound · 23/08/2024 18:08

LoneHydrangea · 23/08/2024 18:04

God, who cares? Don’t most adult women have vibrators? It should not be a source of shame.

i’m not ashamed. In fact, when I set up camp in the wilderness 1,000 miles from another living soul I might even whisper it out loud.

OP posts:
teaandtoastwithmarmite · 23/08/2024 18:09

My husband (then boyfriends) mate found my vibrator once. He was not discreet about it. We had to laugh it off 🤪

HorseSnorts · 23/08/2024 18:10

63isMe · 23/08/2024 15:59

Best thread ever 😂😂😂😂

??

Magnolia1234 · 23/08/2024 18:13

Looking for a pet rabbit for young DC. Innocently typed ‘rabbit’ for sale. I had to slam the laptop shut before I could scroll down far enough to reach the baby bunnies…

NoNameisGoodEnough · 23/08/2024 18:14

menopausalmare · 23/08/2024 16:32

Can you do a Julia from Motherland and say it's a scooter handle?

That's the first thing I thought of!

Barney16 · 23/08/2024 18:15

My dad, yes DAD, decided to tidy my wardrobe and when I got home, said oh, I tidied up some dog toys I found in one of the draws in your wardrobe. Bless, he has led an extremely sheltered life.

PeloMom · 23/08/2024 18:17

I’m sure it’s not her first time. Cleaning peoples homes means she sees a lot! Chill!

LBFseBrom · 23/08/2024 18:20

Alaskabound · 23/08/2024 15:58

There’s a train to London leaving in an hour.

I could still be found in Anchorage. There must be an Inuit settlement somewhere I could camp on the edge of for three or four decades.

Just come down to London, there are many places where you can be anonymous and hide from the paparazzi.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 23/08/2024 18:20

Don’t emigrate, just style it out.

When tidying and helping to revamp my bedroom with SIL one day I cane across or she did, my vibrator - she’s my DB’s wife. Honestly though I styled it out. Loads of people either use or don’t use them. If I’ve got a sex life then good on me.

A flatmate I shared with years ago I recall texting her to ask where she’d put some Clinique toner she’d borrowed. It was in a drawer with a bullet vibrator that shed obvs forgotten about but I’m hardly likely to shout “ooh flatmate, guess wharf I found?!”. I did have a best friend who’d tell me in detail about eg Thai love beads. Thanks but I really didn’t need to hear about that! And especially as I knew her boyfriend very well too - we all socialised together.

Orphlids · 23/08/2024 18:21

My mother once found a collection of my toys, and actually put them into a DESK TIDY - remember the ones with several round compartments of differing heights? I don’t know why she did it. We’ve never spoken of it.

shellyleppard · 23/08/2024 18:21

@Alaskabound i know its difficult sometimes. You just long for peace and quiet......

Choochoo21 · 23/08/2024 18:22

I can’t believe she would handle someone’s obviously very recently used toy 🤢🤢

I don’t know why she didn’t just leave it where it was.

My cleaner seeing is would have be embarrassed but my cleaner handling it would have me mortified!!

Definitely book a one way ticket to Alaska OP!

GingerScallop · 23/08/2024 18:23

Doseofreality · 23/08/2024 15:59

How big is this rabbit thruster, will it need its own seat on the plane? Am assuming it will be going with you seeing how you are so attached 😂

@Alaskabound Blame Canada! Blame Canada! Blame Canadaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

PrincessOlga · 23/08/2024 18:23

Please don't mock the OP. Some people get off on publishing such stories on forums. I spoke to an interesting psychologist at a party (she was researching people who make "poo posts" on forums and in letters to neighbours - yes, really!) and they have deep-seated issues.

nextdoorconundrum · 23/08/2024 18:25

PrincessOlga · 23/08/2024 18:23

Please don't mock the OP. Some people get off on publishing such stories on forums. I spoke to an interesting psychologist at a party (she was researching people who make "poo posts" on forums and in letters to neighbours - yes, really!) and they have deep-seated issues.

Eh ? OPs post is funny .. nothing more . Doesn't require psychoanalysis...

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