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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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8
RhaenysRocks · 23/08/2024 18:06

Conkersinautumn · 23/08/2024 17:39

Pretty sure the suffragettes did a lot of what your describing as "entitled" thinking around accessing male only spaces. I realise a dating ap is frivolous but how is humanity helped by exclusion?

Can you really not see the difference between a male only "place" such as a voting booth and a female only space so that a group that is physically (generally) weaker and more vulnerable may be safe and feel safe, such as a changing room, prison, refuge etc. If you INCLUDE trans women in some places you effectively EXCLUDE some women...but apparently thats just tough because TW are more entitled to it than women.

Helleofabore · 23/08/2024 18:07

As a sign of the tide turning slowly in Australia, even the guardian did not use the false and offensive term 'anti-trans' in their report on last weekend's women's rally in Melbourne as they have before.

Many media outlets reported how 20-30 women were pelted with projectiles and had up to three layers of police protection against mostly male protestors who were violent and intimidating. Again, this is after the world watched the riots (some called them protests) here in the UK.

I believe that after the Matildas game and the male boxers punching female boxers, that there is now a momentum of awareness that has been slow to build across Australia. But it is getting there.

The law needs to be changed. The only way to do that is to build awareness and get women talking to each other and to their MP.

That is what this case was always about.

www.theguardian.com/society/article/2024/aug/17/eggs-and-water-balloons-thrown-as-protesters-face-off-at-women-will-speak-rally-in-melbourne-ntwnfb

GustyFinknottle · 23/08/2024 18:14

glitches78 · 23/08/2024 17:34

I'm sorry but this has gone to far now

It went too far way, way back — back to the early noughties when all the lesbian bars and events on Canal Street in Manchester were invaded by men who said they were women. It was at least a decade ago when the first transwomen barged their way into the women's centre and rape crisis centre in my area and started forcing their way into lesbian groups and women's sport, demanding that women let them in or else there'd be trouble. Unfortunately for those of us who started trying to attract attention to the problem around 2008, the vast majority of women chose to ignore what's been going on for years and years. Many of them decided to call women like me hateful bigots and decide we could no longer be friends.

BunfightBetty · 23/08/2024 18:15

Oldinjuryhelp111037 · 23/08/2024 18:01

Women always lose. It's literally a man's world. Now men are women and still have the law on their side. Women would get fairer treatment identifying as bats at this rate.

Women always lose.

This. This is the alpha and omega of it. If you haven’t grasped this, you haven’t grasped the nature of the issue.

Moreofthesamenothanks · 23/08/2024 18:15

Disgraceful that biological sex and the protection of real women means nothing at all.

The way women are swept aside so men who 'feel' they are women are accommodated is awful. I despair for the future.

Moreofthesamenothanks · 23/08/2024 18:17

Helleofabore · 23/08/2024 18:07

As a sign of the tide turning slowly in Australia, even the guardian did not use the false and offensive term 'anti-trans' in their report on last weekend's women's rally in Melbourne as they have before.

Many media outlets reported how 20-30 women were pelted with projectiles and had up to three layers of police protection against mostly male protestors who were violent and intimidating. Again, this is after the world watched the riots (some called them protests) here in the UK.

I believe that after the Matildas game and the male boxers punching female boxers, that there is now a momentum of awareness that has been slow to build across Australia. But it is getting there.

The law needs to be changed. The only way to do that is to build awareness and get women talking to each other and to their MP.

That is what this case was always about.

www.theguardian.com/society/article/2024/aug/17/eggs-and-water-balloons-thrown-as-protesters-face-off-at-women-will-speak-rally-in-melbourne-ntwnfb

They are very slow to realise the problems!

FlirtsWithRhinos · 23/08/2024 18:17

FrancescaContini · 23/08/2024 15:20

It’s about as meaningful as recording star sign on your passport.

More like being born in April but changing your recorded birth date to November because you feel like a Scorpio.

Lovelyview · 23/08/2024 18:17

Helleofabore · 23/08/2024 18:07

As a sign of the tide turning slowly in Australia, even the guardian did not use the false and offensive term 'anti-trans' in their report on last weekend's women's rally in Melbourne as they have before.

Many media outlets reported how 20-30 women were pelted with projectiles and had up to three layers of police protection against mostly male protestors who were violent and intimidating. Again, this is after the world watched the riots (some called them protests) here in the UK.

I believe that after the Matildas game and the male boxers punching female boxers, that there is now a momentum of awareness that has been slow to build across Australia. But it is getting there.

The law needs to be changed. The only way to do that is to build awareness and get women talking to each other and to their MP.

That is what this case was always about.

www.theguardian.com/society/article/2024/aug/17/eggs-and-water-balloons-thrown-as-protesters-face-off-at-women-will-speak-rally-in-melbourne-ntwnfb

It'll be interesting to see if the Flying Bats (Aussie LGBTQ 'womens' football team) which has five male players peaks a few more as they're through to a competition final.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-13768531/amp/Flying-Bats-womens-grand-final.html

Women's soccer team with trans players makes grand final

Sydney-based Flying Bats FC made headlines around the globe earlier this year after it was revealed that five of the team's women's side were made up of male-born players.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-13768531/amp/Flying-Bats-womens-grand-final.html

legalalien · 23/08/2024 18:23

Helleofabore · 23/08/2024 18:07

As a sign of the tide turning slowly in Australia, even the guardian did not use the false and offensive term 'anti-trans' in their report on last weekend's women's rally in Melbourne as they have before.

Many media outlets reported how 20-30 women were pelted with projectiles and had up to three layers of police protection against mostly male protestors who were violent and intimidating. Again, this is after the world watched the riots (some called them protests) here in the UK.

I believe that after the Matildas game and the male boxers punching female boxers, that there is now a momentum of awareness that has been slow to build across Australia. But it is getting there.

The law needs to be changed. The only way to do that is to build awareness and get women talking to each other and to their MP.

That is what this case was always about.

www.theguardian.com/society/article/2024/aug/17/eggs-and-water-balloons-thrown-as-protesters-face-off-at-women-will-speak-rally-in-melbourne-ntwnfb

This makes a lot of sense to me. I rather thought that might be the "big picture" nature of this case. I have a number of family members in Australia so will be interrogating them to see what their level of awareness is about this case...

hihelenhi · 23/08/2024 18:24

Bromptotoo · 23/08/2024 17:42

My first post was intended to make the point that Sal Grover's conduct in court wasn't helping her case. I've lost count of the number of cases, albeit on subjects totally different to this, I've sat through where one party or the other dug their own grave by focusing aggressively on stuff that didn't help.

If the law is as @legalalien says then Ms Grover was pretty much bound to lose anyway.

Once again, what "conduct in court?" You need to explain to everyone exactly what that was. Given you've been asked to several times now but still don't appear to have answered that question.

What was the problem with Sal's "conduct in court" and how exactly did she not "cover herself in glory"? That was what you said.

FlirtsWithRhinos · 23/08/2024 18:32

Conkersinautumn · 23/08/2024 17:39

Pretty sure the suffragettes did a lot of what your describing as "entitled" thinking around accessing male only spaces. I realise a dating ap is frivolous but how is humanity helped by exclusion?

The difference is that those women didn't want the vote just because men had it, they wanted the vote because they wanted political power for women, political power from which men were excluding them.

And they didn't want to be allowed in men-only clubs and jobs because they wamted to be men or wanted men's company, they wanted to be there because the men who were there had power and were making networks and decisions that affected women's lives without women's involvement.

In both instances, it's not about women wanting access to men, it's about women wanting access to power.

But women-only spaces and rights are not seats of power. They exist only to be refuges from the power of men.

So unlike the historical women who challenged men-only spaces, jobs and rights, the men who want acccess to women-only spaces and rights are not doing so because women are somehow using these spaces to make political and social decisions that impact men, they are doing so because they want to be physically or virtually where women are and other men are not. For them, it is about having access to women, or to things that are supposed to be resricted to women, as an end in itself. And this applies to men who claim a female identify as any other man.

Helleofabore · 23/08/2024 18:32

Lovelyview · 23/08/2024 18:17

It'll be interesting to see if the Flying Bats (Aussie LGBTQ 'womens' football team) which has five male players peaks a few more as they're through to a competition final.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-13768531/amp/Flying-Bats-womens-grand-final.html

Unfortunately, the Bats are Northern Sydney based. And no one I knows reads the daily mail in Australia, although that could have changed in the past year. They stick to their regional and national papers, the ABC and feeds from TV stations on social media etc.

So, I expect that the Bats will get noticed only by those involved, local or actively interested in these issues.

YogaForDummies · 23/08/2024 18:33

I identify as a rich person. I've always known I was rich, ever since I realised I liked nice things rather than shit things.

ResisterOfTwaddleRex · 23/08/2024 18:37

Women unfortunately need to acquaint themselves with autogynephilia:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4726257-nick-timothy-in-the-telegraph-on-the-grr?page=1

We have allowed AGPs to paint themselves as poor misunderstood victims with special feelings. This must end.

Repeal the GRA. Make it unlawful to conceal your natal sex.

Allie47 · 23/08/2024 18:41

Imustgoforarun · 23/08/2024 14:12

If I was a lesbian I would now not trust that dating app so they would lose my custom. Such a good idea but as usual we must bow to men’s feelings.

It's not a dating app.

DontBeDaftYou · 23/08/2024 18:41

From that thread, Nick Timothy:

"...nobody stops to ask how many such men are moved to act in these ways through their own sexual desire. Autogynephilia, the feeling of sexual arousal some men feel as they pretend to be women, is according to some researchers behind many or even most cases of gender dysphoria among those born as men. It is legitimate to ask whether non-consenting women ought to be participants in such sexual fantasies."

hihelenhi · 23/08/2024 18:42

ResisterOfTwaddleRex · 23/08/2024 18:37

Women unfortunately need to acquaint themselves with autogynephilia:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4726257-nick-timothy-in-the-telegraph-on-the-grr?page=1

We have allowed AGPs to paint themselves as poor misunderstood victims with special feelings. This must end.

Repeal the GRA. Make it unlawful to conceal your natal sex.

Yes, one of the key features of which is being sexually aroused by being validated as female by actual women and getting to encroach women's boundaries. It's the reason you'll mysteriously find "trans women" turning up in places like menopause and other women-focused groups when obviously no TW can ever experience menopause.

There will sadly always be naive women who fawn over them when they are there also (including one of the trustees of the Fawcett society iirc). Generally destroying the purpose of the group and sidelining the women it was actually meant to be for.

jeaux90 · 23/08/2024 18:52

To be clear, this isn't about the dude getting access to the app. It was to shut down the app.

Women are not allowed their own spaces or services in Australia.

RufustheFactualReindeer · 23/08/2024 19:00

Bromptotoo · 23/08/2024 17:53

Your first post was to shame Sal Grover.

No, it was intended to show she made a Horlicks of presenting her case.

It utterly failed

if youd have said ‘I felt she focused aggressively on stuff that didn't help’

it would have been much clearer…instead of all those cryptic pointless posts

RufustheFactualReindeer · 23/08/2024 19:04

Oh and to clarify

you still seem to be unable to say what the actual problem was…

legalalien · 23/08/2024 19:09

Helleofabore · 23/08/2024 18:32

Unfortunately, the Bats are Northern Sydney based. And no one I knows reads the daily mail in Australia, although that could have changed in the past year. They stick to their regional and national papers, the ABC and feeds from TV stations on social media etc.

So, I expect that the Bats will get noticed only by those involved, local or actively interested in these issues.

My early 20s niece alerted me to it, she lives in centralish Sydney and is a rugby player. Maybe mentioned it to me because she knows my views on women’s sport but it’s not an issue she’s particularly focused on. I doubt she reads the Daily Mail, so
will depend if it’s made it onto TikTok. I was horrified by some of the videos.

EasternStandard · 23/08/2024 19:17

Bromptotoo · 23/08/2024 17:53

Your first post was to shame Sal Grover.

No, it was intended to show she made a Horlicks of presenting her case.

By doing what?

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 23/08/2024 19:35

YANBU. I'm furious.

Lms63738 · 23/08/2024 19:38

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.