to want to poke my dh in the eye with a shitty stick because of the stupid 'family name' we've inflicted on our ds

[peggotty]

My dh has a family name that all first born sons have to be called (a load of macho bollocks I know). I knew this before we had any children and we had a massive barney about it before dd was born because I hate this name to the core of my being!! We eventually agreed to the compromise that any ds' would be called this name in an official capacity but we would choose a middle name we both liked and that would be his 'everyday' name iykwim. Ds duly arrived 12 weeks ago and I had another go at persuading dh to make the godawful name his middle one instead but he wouldn't budge. Fair enough, I thought at the time, I did agree to the compromise. Only now I'm starting to realise that people will think I actually wanted to call him this name and already at the docs he has had this name called out in the waiting room. I know I'm being ridiculous in some ways and I suppose most people wouldn't bat an eyelid maybe think 'weird name' and forget about it, but I'm already starting to worry about his first day at school etc if it's called out in class and sticks! I suppose it goes a bit deeper than just the name, I feel a bit aggrieved that I had to 'give in' on something I felt so strongly about, but so did DH. WHY could he not have agreed to it being a middle name instead!!!!

maybe little hammy is his kid

The family tradition thing and having no choice about his name is awful - BUT now it's done, I think you might get used to it and you never know, he might love it when he's older. Mil is a cool shortened version.

The doctor's / passports etc whatever is a small part of life really, he'll be fine. This is more about you being riled by having your hand forced which I think is totally reasonable. Write down all your feelings about it - you could even write a funny article about it for a parenting magazine or something (you could use a fake name). Ranting on here might help too.

Oops! didn't read thread properly and missed that it was old and the paddad ructions. Whatever! As you were!

btw though, I would not be turned on by a man called Ham. Mil yes, Ham no.

no, mil just sounds freaky

Mil millington. No thanks.

Ham- tasty, salty, meaty...yum

it isnt an equal marriage to start with otherwise the wife wouln't have been forced to name her ds a name she hated, so the dh can hardley expect respect in return

as this threadis a year old - i wonder what the outcome was?

peggotty did you ever get used to the name or did you re register?

tbh i dont think hal is that bad, though hammy is

but what i DONT understand is how on earth can anyone call their a child a name you really hate, and more to the point, that your dh didnt take your concerns/upset (if right word) seriously?

mb loved a name and db didnt, so it was the childs 2nd name and they agreed on a first name they BOTH like

Sorry everyone -- I've no idea how I ended up on a year-old thread.

I thought I came to it through 'Active Conversations', and so didn't pay attention to the dates.

It was interesting so I responded.

As muffle said: As you were . . .

dammit, thought cod was back.
got halfway through reading this thread before looking at the date
how annoying.

At least you didn't call him Peggotty. Boom boom.
(...has that been done?)

Oh lord, old thread. Didn't see.

Hamilton is not that bad, in fact I quite like it. I do know a Milton.

When your DC goes to nursery they'll ask you what you want them to call him. It won't be an issue there, I think.
When we had the appointment to register DS1. We argue for half an hour outside of the office because DH wanted that the 2 extra names he had added (I chose the first name) appeared in the official documents. We had agree that they would only appear in the Christening certificate. As DS would have a double barrelled surname I thought it was too much. At the end DH saw sense.

I think his family are a bunch of arses and I would certainly have no intention whatsoever of allowing them to control such a profoundly important aspect of my family life which has nothing whatsoever to do with them.

I would tell your dh he must stand up to them, and go straight down to the register and ditch the revolting controlling moniker.

I truly felt my hackles rise very high at the thought of any family daring ... I must take some breaths now.

I like Hamilton, but then I live in Scotland. To me it's not a strange name at all, just a traditional Scottish name that's easy to spell and doesn't pigeon hole you into being a particular type of person.
I would never give my child a name I hated though.

And here I was wondering why on Earth Peggotty had not replied... is se still with us?

peggotty replied on a post 14 march this year so she is still about

Come back and tell us what happened Peggotty!

FWIW I think H. Middlename Lastname would work. I also like Hal.

And I think it is strange to hear so many people saying that a mother has more right over her child's name than the father just because she gave birth to it. Children are a joint responsibility. Even worse to hear the advocates of changing the name without discussing it with the father (I hope that was a joke actually). She agreed to the name, and registered it herself. How is that being forced?