to want to poke my dh in the eye with a shitty stick because of the stupid 'family name' we've inflicted on our ds

[peggotty]

My dh has a family name that all first born sons have to be called (a load of macho bollocks I know). I knew this before we had any children and we had a massive barney about it before dd was born because I hate this name to the core of my being!! We eventually agreed to the compromise that any ds' would be called this name in an official capacity but we would choose a middle name we both liked and that would be his 'everyday' name iykwim. Ds duly arrived 12 weeks ago and I had another go at persuading dh to make the godawful name his middle one instead but he wouldn't budge. Fair enough, I thought at the time, I did agree to the compromise. Only now I'm starting to realise that people will think I actually wanted to call him this name and already at the docs he has had this name called out in the waiting room. I know I'm being ridiculous in some ways and I suppose most people wouldn't bat an eyelid maybe think 'weird name' and forget about it, but I'm already starting to worry about his first day at school etc if it's called out in class and sticks! I suppose it goes a bit deeper than just the name, I feel a bit aggrieved that I had to 'give in' on something I felt so strongly about, but so did DH. WHY could he not have agreed to it being a middle name instead!!!!

thinking that i'm quite lucky as the name thats gone through all the first born sons inc dh and my son is Chris

Have you taken DH's surname and do the DC have DH's surname? If so tell him thhat the fact you have taken his surname means you have done your bit so asking for a first name from that side of the family as well is abit much. If he insists on Hamilton say ok but he uses my surname.

This is my argument - DH family name is Edwin eek

Although Hamilton is a nice name, YANBU. FWIW, my MIL and my mum are both known by names which appear nowhere on their birth certificates.
MIL was named after a singer her parents liked, and after a year they decided they hated it so called her Sarah instead. Mum was named by my GP who decided to call her after all his dead female relations so she has about 14 names and is actually known by none of them. She chose to call herself Pip at age 4 and that stuck.

So don't worry, if your DS doesn't like his name he'll choose something else and you can encourage that to be something you do like!

We've had this too but other way round ...

For generations the first-born sons in dh's family have had a set first name & then - because otherwise it would be insanely confusing - each generation's nameholder actually uses his second name.

But it was dh not me who wanted to do the big Flout Tradition Gesture thing, and it was me who thought why upset them all? So ds is number 10 in a line.

But it's probably relevant that the name in question is Charles, which is hard to get steamed up about. What I'm saying is that maybe the principle is only an issue when the name is tricky.

Pegotty, get thee to a solicitors and change the name.

My MIL called my dh after a family name and he has never been called it.
Tbh its just a PITA when it comes to things like official documents and such because he has no choice but to put his first name on it.

Put the Hamilton as his middle name.
Bloody ridiculous goings on IMO.
I'd be if I were you.

But fwiw I dont mind Hamilton.
Could be a hell of alot worse

Got to page 4 and found out the name is Hamilton.

As names goes it isn't the worst it could have been but you really need to sort this out now. IIRC baby is ony 12 weeks so you can get it changed if you want too.

I think Hamilton is fine. 'Hal' is cool and dignified. Why not leave things for now and let your ds choose what he wants to be known as when he's older.

there was a hamilton in the birth announcements in teh times today
or was it harrison?

FWIW, my middle name is Hamilton, also a family name. Ok, it is only a middle name but it was a tragedy to a little girl who wasn't very good at "fitting in". I used to say my middle name was Helen.
As I got older I started to like it because it was a bit unusual.
IMO Hamilton is a great name for a little boy. I would use a shortened version for everyday use and let your little boy decide if, and when he wants to use his "Sunday" name. He might love it.

Don't like it so I am on your side and Hammy made me PMSL! Change it and change it now poor child...!!

Message withdrawn

Peggoty, the same thing here with the names. DP is Scottish too

First-born males are called after the grand father, luckily for DPs family I liked the name so went with it.

For the record, I have a soft spot for Hamilton, love it in fact it was on the short list for DS2

Goog grief. I would never allow someone else to name my child. No way no how. Agreement with DH of course, but I can't see I'd let anyone else have a view.

No mum (or dad) should have to hate her (his) child's name.

Sorry, but your DH needs a backbone.

My goodness!!

Not to mention it is sexist to think boys must be named after their fathers, carrying on some macho creepy tradition.

My brother is a junior (same first and middle name as my dad) and my mother has lived to regret it.

Rather more practical for boys to be named after the fathers than the mothers though

I wouldn't like any of my sons to be named after their father

Some rather nasty messages here about 'sneaking' to the registry and changing the name without the DH's knowledge.

Or that because the woman carries the baby in the womb the woman should get the final decision on the names, screw what the DH finds pretty vital.

Pretty brutal?

Hamilton is not that bad... but I understand your pain...

ExH's family have called their first born male the same name over 7 generations, I couldn't get rid of it but at least managed to make it a middle name.... now, my ex MIL (who also hates her inlaws -and everyone else- refers to DS by yet another name, one of her choosing... charming!!!

the most important tip I can tell you is.....

you are legally allowed to change it as many times as you like up to the age of 1.

get your ass in gear, I am shock in this day and age you are going to subject him to a life of bullying.

I wanted to call my son Leonadis, needless to say my DW firmly put her foot down, and to be honest I can see why.

honestly stuff that tradition, think of your son.

YANBU but Hamilton is lovely. I wish I'd have named my son that instead of worlds most common chav name and now hate it...

I like Hamilton, but it is a bit of a mouthful. Ham, on the other hand is quite manly and cool, rather than Hal (not bad though), and of course Hammy is plain daft. I would use Ham with pride, and you could be the most über- mumsnet mother if you bring him up well, as he would be known as Nice Ham, which is surely the ultimate accolade?

guys, guys, have you seen the age of this thread ?

Anyfucker, of course [lying]...but how incredibly useful this all must be for any little Hamiltons out there now Doh!

PadDad, how on earth did you come across this?