Daughter refusing to speak normally

[Maryahadaballtoday]

I’m at my bloody wits end with my child and I’m very close to telling her so.

I have one child (daughter she’s eight) she is my only child as a few years ago I had my tubes tied neither me or partner wanted another daughter - perfectly fine with just one and she has plenty of cousins and friends to spend time with. I

Its worth noting before I go on that my child is not neurodivergent nor is she from a broken home. Me and her dad have been together twelve years. We have never broken up nor divorced either, partly because we’ve never been married. So there’s really no need for her to be doing what she does.

Lately she has been reverting back to baby speech - saying things like chippies or icky, the worst is bobo when she wants her water bottle and it’s grinding my gears to the maximum. It’s gotten so bad that my partner will flat out ignore her.

Earlier on today she had a full on temper tantrum and kept screaming “icky icky icky” over ice cream spilling on her fingers while we were out. When I pulled her up on to her feet and sternly told her she was on thin ice she reverted back to baby speech “I no wike you” was among my top five favourites.

AIBU to ignore her like my partner is doing? Is this a phase she’ll grow out of? I’m dreading sending her back to school the week after next because her baby talk has got so bad none of her friends have wanted to spend time all summer

I really don’t need the shaming mum parade, I’d like a hand hold and for someone to tell me their kid has also been driving them beserk too

although I know I’m likely to be flamed - Mumsnet seems to be that way

I'm not the one complaining about children being childish at the very least. How ridiculous.

Dramatic parents often raise dramatic children. The OPs daughter will almost certainly grow out of this phase when she goes back to school, and is with other children and (hopefully) a no-nonsense teacher.

If she doesn't grow out of it, perhaps take her back to one of the three psychiatrists and ask for another assessment.

Dreadful advice. Something is clearly troubling this little 8 year old, she needs comforting and compassion, not harsh treatment.

Perhaps by getting so ‘upset’ reacting to it and going off crying is why she continues. Just get on with your day don’t engage unless she can ask/speak in a normal way. I have a son with autism and 3 other children and my patience is tested daily with one thing or another it’s tough.

I feel you are giving this a lot of attention that she probably enjoys and perhaps craves, I get it must be irritating but she’s a child she needs love, care and understanding, my kids are back to school so I’ve had 6 weeks of full on behaviour my youngest repeats himself constantly. You’re going to need to find a way to cope with it, without losing the rag. She’s 8!!

I think you need to open your mind OP. Your dd could be ND - none of the professionals you mentioned there are able to asses and diagnose this. Speech regression can be a big part of autism. Your 2 nephews can be totally different to your dd as every single person with autism is different. I would get the ball rolling for assessment tbh.

Autism isn't a get out of jail free card for normal childish misbehaviour. Sometimes the behaviour is just them being naughty/childish/silly and needs addressing as such.

My then 11 year old did this in the first lockdown but with an Australian accent. God it was annoying. I’m quite mean so just told her it was really annoying and I would leave the room if she kept doing it. It wore off.

I am utterly intrigued how you have managed to get her assessed by three psychiatrists for a bit of baby talk.
wish I lived where you live as it took over a decade to get DS with far more complex behaviours assessed by just one appropriate medical professional.

OP - again - when you’ve sat down and had a discussion about this with her, what does she say she likes about baby talk, what are her reasons for doing it?

And is there any other behaviour she’s doing which seems like a regression?

That gave me a bloody fantastic laugh. She gets all the love and cuddles from both me and her dad. There’s nothing bothering her, she’s just being difficult and I’m at my wits end today.

I’ve had the worst week. A lot of stuff has happened that we won’t tell her because it’s not a place for a child to worry about adults issues. The last thing i need is my almost nine year old heading into year four acting like a two year old.

My 12 year old has taken to talking in a Scouse accent 🤷 I just ignore it. The best way is always to ignore it. My 6 year old tries the baby voice now and again, I ignore that too 🤣

What does having been from a broken home got to do with anything? My son is from a 'broken home' and has no social issues at all thanks.

Awful isn't it?

Hi, I get that you are at the end of your tether and this comes across in your messages; you sound fed up and you needed space from her and locked the door to get it. I’ve been there at the end of my tether and needed space and when that’s happened my child has become more upset and more “baby-like”. It was a time I felt disconnected from them.

I’m trying to put myself in her shoes…. She started talking in a baby voice for whatever reason (regressing; fearful of going into year 4; wanting to see what the response would be; just pretending to be little again?) and then I wonder if your response actually reinforced it and now she is DIGGING her heels in!

If I were you, I think I’d go with it and have a play! Try to connect with her without expectation. Quit worrying about what will happen in the future, get rid of the tension and go with it.

Talk to her about what it was like when she was 3 and the funny and sweet way she used to say things, read the stories she used to love, look together at photos from when she was 3 and reminisce about fun times! Tell her what you used to do together, her favourite things back then; what you loved (love) about her… NOT with the intention of getting rid of the baby talk, just taking a deep dive into it together to see if you can get that connection back.

People may scoff and think that is a terrible idea, but that’s what I would do!

Oh my kids are from a 'broken home', must explain the annoying accents and them shouting skibbity toilet every 5 minutes 🤣

Can I just say the school holidays ain't no bloody holiday!!!
Parenting is so tricky.
The little girl has found something that entertains her and annoys her parents. Happy Days.
Can you get a break OP? Time away for her ( to be blunt!)

It really isn't the massive deal some people are making out. It doesn't mean there is 'more going on' it also doesn't mean the child necessarily has Autism.

Regression and being a bit silly can just be a phase. The essential thing is not to let it upset you, be firm that you won't respond to it, and carry on as normal.

Its how i handled children at school who did it (previously worked as a teaching assistant) and how i handle my own kids.

FTR, i have asd/adhd and occasionally do it on purpose to annoy my teenagers when they start their meme-speak crap, because it annoys the bejeesus out of them.

She'lll drop it once the 9 years olds don't want to join in.

Hang on in there.

I very much doubt that she will do this at school in front of the other children (never mind her teacher!) - I would just ignore and if necessary not respond till she speaks in her grown-up voice.

I’m sorry, I think I missed you last time.

I’ve asked her plenty of times and she always seems to give vague answers or she will respond in a baby voice and I ignore her when she does. There’s no other regression behaviours - just the speech. She’s in bed right now watching a film and I’m destressing from the day.

Im frazzled and tired and we’re never going to Llandudno for the day again 🤣

They might have been private practice, so no decade long waiting list.

You could ask to meet with her class teacher and see if they have any concerns. Going to the GP seems a bit drastic if this is just a silly phase. Sometimes the more you show annoyance and give attention to this the worse it might get.

We went through a barking "Pete the Puppy" phase I considered moving out. :)

I know you're concerned about this because she'll be back at school soon but it might just solve the issue. I don't imagine she'll be doing baby talk at school in front of the other children; pressure to conform isn't always a bad thing when it's positive.
But then I don't think a child reverting to baby talk means she's necessarily emotionally damaged or traumatised in some way so could be way off with my assumptions.

If she's just being annoying you have two choices- ignore it or parent it.

Say "ice cream is for big girls. If you can't talk like a big girl then you're too little for ice cream. Am i taking the ice cream away?"

Or threaten to talk to her in baby voice when she's with her mates? "Is vis how we want to talk in fwont of our fwendy wendys? Shall we talk like vis when Georgie-Worgie comes over to pway pway?"

Or just a conversation. It's fine to talk like that with your friends if that's how you like to play but I'm an adult, I dont really like this game please can you stop.