Daughter refusing to speak normally

[Maryahadaballtoday]

I’m at my bloody wits end with my child and I’m very close to telling her so.

I have one child (daughter she’s eight) she is my only child as a few years ago I had my tubes tied neither me or partner wanted another daughter - perfectly fine with just one and she has plenty of cousins and friends to spend time with. I

Its worth noting before I go on that my child is not neurodivergent nor is she from a broken home. Me and her dad have been together twelve years. We have never broken up nor divorced either, partly because we’ve never been married. So there’s really no need for her to be doing what she does.

Lately she has been reverting back to baby speech - saying things like chippies or icky, the worst is bobo when she wants her water bottle and it’s grinding my gears to the maximum. It’s gotten so bad that my partner will flat out ignore her.

Earlier on today she had a full on temper tantrum and kept screaming “icky icky icky” over ice cream spilling on her fingers while we were out. When I pulled her up on to her feet and sternly told her she was on thin ice she reverted back to baby speech “I no wike you” was among my top five favourites.

AIBU to ignore her like my partner is doing? Is this a phase she’ll grow out of? I’m dreading sending her back to school the week after next because her baby talk has got so bad none of her friends have wanted to spend time all summer

I really don’t need the shaming mum parade, I’d like a hand hold and for someone to tell me their kid has also been driving them beserk too

although I know I’m likely to be flamed - Mumsnet seems to be that way

With respect OP you say in your first paragraph that nothing is bothering her and in your second that you have had a terrible week, which you’re not talking to her about as you’re trying to protect her.

My experience is that kids are so good at picking up on unsaid stuff and the emotions of their parents; she’ll be picking up that something is not quite right with you

Must be a thing with some girls: a friend’s daughter kept talking in an affected little girl whiny voice a couple of years ago. It was desperately annoying and I didn’t even have to live with it. Friend refused to engage with daughter while she was using the voice. It seems to have stopped since she went to secondary school, thankfully. It went on for a really long time though, maybe Yr 4-6!

Isn't it pretty standard for 8 years old to act in a goofy and immature way? Would it be so bad to just let it be till she grows bored of it? Why does it bother you so much, OP?

I wouldn't bother with any of this emotional blackmail stuff. Bloody hard but ignore the baby stuff ( I'm assuming its not 24/7) and praise the good stuff.

Schools/teachers often miss autistic cues, especially in girls. My friends dd was missed for 8 years despite her mum regularly trying to get help from them. She was diagnosed in secondary school when a new senco listened to my friend and was really on the ball.

Haunting I'm not sure what has upset you so much in this thread? You've accused OP of being anti-autism and insisted her child is neurodivergent

I'm sorry if you've had some bad experiences but all Op is guilty of is stating in her opening post that her child isn't neurodiverse. This is because, presumably, she knew many of the responses would suggest this

Saying she is being nasty by stating her child isn't is ridiculous

OP, my niece did this for 2 weeks and it drove my DB and SIL mad. Like others, they tried everything and eventually did as others have suggested and started babying her to the point of early bedtimes,suggesting she use the potty and mushing her food. She soon stopped

It's completely impossible!

Why would i tell my child her father lost his job for something that wasn’t his fault?

@Maryahadaballtoday

🍹🍹🍹

Boarding school?

just joking but you have all my sympathy. I hope she drops it soon!

Children are expected to "grow up" or else they are annoying or told they're being childish but their parent can be as "childish" as they like and can't be called out. Real hypocritical I think.

I know a NT child that used to do this. It seemed like she thought it would help her get her way/get away with things because she was the “baby." I would absolutely ignore her when she was speaking like this and maybe a bit of extra attention when she's not.

@Maryahadaballtoday

sorry to hear about DH's job. Are you going to look into unfair dismissal?

what was wrong with Llandudno. My friend loves it there & wants to move there.

I’d play her at her at her own game. Go get some baby food/puree, the likes of the brown puree in jars. Take away any ‘big kid toys’ and see how long she lasts.

My friends daughter did this from 8-10 and it was SO annoying, for other kids as well. She was diagnosed with ASD at 11.

Sorry if I've missed it OP, but this is a very relevant question and I can't see the answer.

Have you really had your DD seen by three psychiatrists just because she's been doing a bit of annoying baby talking recently?

Or was there another reason?

My 10 year old does this. I just ignore it. I am certain he will grow out of it

Nobody has 'upset' me besides a couple of posters making ableist comments about Autism.

What has annoyed me and multiple other posters however, is the "broken home" disclaimer given in the OP, followed by it changing twice from this child having been seen by "a child psychologist' to her having letters from three separate psychiatrists AND teachers all declaring this child neurotypical. Even though neither can declare such a thing. That doesn't strike you as anti-Autism/ableism? We have to fight this kind of crap regularly. When my DD was diagnosed, my cousin's wife sent a condolence card! They walk amongst us!

Because if a child doesn’t have a story about what has happened, then they may invent something in their mind that is MUCH worse.

I would tell my child this but in an age appropriate way, as best I could. I don’t know, something like, “you might have noticed that me and your dad are a bit stressed out; this is because dad doesn’t have a job anymore. He might have some time off for a little bit and then he’ll have a job again. It will be okay”.

otherwise she’ll hear snippets of conversations; pick up on a tone and won’t have a clue what’s going on!

My eldest went through this (very long) phase. Every time he spoke to me in a whiny baby voice I just said I don’t understand you when you talk like that. If he kept doing it, I’d walk away and say if you want to talk to me you can come find me when you find your big boy voice. It was tough especially the pretend tantrums. This went on for a couple of years but he’s ND so hopefully it won’t last as long with your daughter.

Ah yes it's known as the 'Australian Question Inclination' became trendy in the early 2010s and made my ears bleed.

Her baby talk has got so bad none of her friends have wanted to spend time all summer

This sounds pretty extreme though and you need to elaborate. Considering she's 8, she probably doesn't have her own phone to communicate with. So have friends actively backed away from play dates because of the baby talk? Have other parents mentioned it to you? Or is it from your own perception that her friends don't want to spend time with her?

Most kids won't do anything that will ostracise them from their peers. Even ND children learn to mask their behaviour if they feel they are being excluded. It would be quite odd for a child to persist with something that is clearly leading to social exclusion.

Though having said that, there are plenty of grown female adults who baby talk without even realising it. There's one Youtuber who appears "normal" (not ND or in a DDLG relationship) but always switches to baby speak with her partner (ickle, wike, booboo, dindins) and it's insufferable to watch.

What kind of vague answer? I would attempt to deep dive it with her even if she is speaking in a baby voice. Maybe just say that you want to understand.

Because she might be picking up on you two being stressed out about it? And she reverts to baby talk in order to be reassured. Can you not indulge her? The baby talk in itself is not a problem, it's why she needs it that's important. So "play" with her. Treat her like a baby until she feels secure enough to be a big girl. Don't get stressed and cry about it. I have seen many children do this when they need comfort. But since you isolate yourself because you can't stand it she is not getting the comforting that she needs and she will go on. Please indulge her, do the role play with her, she needs it.

Aha. Nothing wrong just a bit of a light hearted joke 🤣 we had a lovely day except for dd ruining it with her baby speech