Daughter refusing to speak normally

[Maryahadaballtoday]

I’m at my bloody wits end with my child and I’m very close to telling her so.

I have one child (daughter she’s eight) she is my only child as a few years ago I had my tubes tied neither me or partner wanted another daughter - perfectly fine with just one and she has plenty of cousins and friends to spend time with. I

Its worth noting before I go on that my child is not neurodivergent nor is she from a broken home. Me and her dad have been together twelve years. We have never broken up nor divorced either, partly because we’ve never been married. So there’s really no need for her to be doing what she does.

Lately she has been reverting back to baby speech - saying things like chippies or icky, the worst is bobo when she wants her water bottle and it’s grinding my gears to the maximum. It’s gotten so bad that my partner will flat out ignore her.

Earlier on today she had a full on temper tantrum and kept screaming “icky icky icky” over ice cream spilling on her fingers while we were out. When I pulled her up on to her feet and sternly told her she was on thin ice she reverted back to baby speech “I no wike you” was among my top five favourites.

AIBU to ignore her like my partner is doing? Is this a phase she’ll grow out of? I’m dreading sending her back to school the week after next because her baby talk has got so bad none of her friends have wanted to spend time all summer

I really don’t need the shaming mum parade, I’d like a hand hold and for someone to tell me their kid has also been driving them beserk too

although I know I’m likely to be flamed - Mumsnet seems to be that way

Also if my child had a behaviour that was worrying and I was worried that a teacher would berate them for it (rather than trying to get to bottom of it), I wouldn’t think highly of the teacher. Can you reframe and see your child’s behaviour as not annoying but as an underlying symptom of SOMETHING. That something could be as simple as boredom, but it could be something else.
What is her explanation for why she does it?

I'm saying that your DD very much is neurodivergent and that it's nothing to be ashamed of!

Seriously, the armchair diagnoses on here are out of control.

This. OP has just tripped herself up here. First she said her DD had been seen by a child psychologist then it was three different psychiatrists - this is impossible on the NHS for ANY reason let alone just for an autism assessment! Psychiatrists don’t get involved in autism assessments

Speech regression / baby voices etc like you’re describing is clinically significant and requires a consult with a medical professional. Not a ranty mother.

When my 6 (almost seven) year old does this, I respond with the same. ‘Is Baby X back with mummy today! Oh no, I didn’t bring buggy boo boo. How will we get home. Does your nappy need changing?’. She’s doing it for your attention, in a kids simple mind, babies get lots of attention and they want some of it too. Everyone’s kids are generally grinding their gears at this point in the holiday, only a few more days until school is back…

Sending moral support. It's been a long, long, long summer holiday and thank Christ we will soon be booting them over the school gate.

I'm not sure that six weeks off is good for either children or parents.

She’s likely under some sort of stress or trauma.

I’m under a huge amount of stress and I still find myself reverting to baby talk sometimes as an adult, but just with myself.

It’s fulfilling some sort of need in her.

Instead of ignoring her, ignore the baby talk and spend time with her and give cuddles as required.

Don't be ridiculous. From the little you've read about OP's child, you think you can diagnose her just because she does ONE thing similar to your ND child?

It's a phase. I would just reply to her repeating back to her what she has said using the correct language and then responding. So if she gets ice cream on her fingers and says icky, you say oh, your fingers are sticky from ice-cream? Go and wash them in the sink. She may be slightly fearful of going back to year 4. It's far more "grown up" than previous years and maybe she finds the idea of becoming more independent overwhelming. But I'm sure it will pass. I'm with you though, it would drive me nuts.

honestly just ignore this behaviour. It’s either a phrase or she’s working through something. If there’s no special needs of trauma it’s probably some kind of regression which can be common as children move on to new year groups or transition.
Similarly, it could just be a habit she’s got into following watching you tube or whatever
If she asks for a bobo or anything else in a baby voice just reply that she can have it when she asks you sensibly.

Nobody is armchair diagnosing anybody. I have said that based on what OP said in her first post, that it sounds like she very much is autistic. I cannot diagnose anyone, regardless of what furniture I’m sat on because I’m not qualified to do so! However I do have a child with ASD (who went through the NHS diagnostic process) and we fight every day against people like OP who seem to think Autism is a type of leprosy and also parents who have DC with signs & symptoms of ASD but no diagnosis because of their parent’s perceived shame.
Maybe this little girl isn’t Autistic 🤷🏼‍♀️ But saying that she has letters from Psychiatrists & Teachers declaring the child as “not autistic” is always going to be called out by people who’ve been through the system as it just doesn’t work that way!

Take a deep breath and say I'll answer you when you use your big girl voice, then carry on what you're doing. Repeat ad nauseum. Stick to it.

What does she say when you ask her why she has started talking like this?

Are you normally quite close? Is is just the speech or is she reverting in other ways - such as not reading age appropriate books any more, or doing babyish art work etc.

It would annoy the hell out of me too but I would be communicating that. If my kids prolonged anything like this to the point of annoyance they would get grey rock or a telling off. Beyond that I’d be explaining how silly they will appear to all their friends.

I wonder if she picks up on the fact that you’re overwhelmed and emotionally upset by it? There could be an element of her enjoying the control she has over you, which, at this age needs to be nipped in the bud by a change in your attitude to one of parental tough love rather than locking yourself away.

You what? I hope you're joking (in a very unfunny way).

I'm not sure that six weeks off is good for either children or parents.

Not for the parents who choose to have them; Children, however, are fine and need the time off from being trained robots.

I'm sure I've read somewhere before that they do this when they need to be babied a little, or need more attention. Sometimes we can expect young children to grow up way too fast. I'm not saying treat her like a baby but I would spend time playing, cuddles, lots of one to one time for reassurance.

Sorry if this has already been asked or answered somewhere - but have you asked her why she is doing it? Not in an aggressive or chastising way, but in a genuinely curious way. Id be interested to hear what she said!

I suspect it’s just a phase. As others have said, I’d just explain to her that you won’t be answering her when she talks like that and she needs to expect her friends won’t put up with it when she’s in school and leave it at that.

Ah mine does this and it absolutely drives me insane. I have sternly told her I will not be ignoring when she does it. And when that doesn't work punishments came in when on holiday. iPad went away for a day for example. I've explained she can do it when playing pretend but not real life. It absolutely flips a switch of rage in my though, very hard to not go in really harsh but know it's a me problem not a her problem so I do keep level but it really pushes my buttons. Mines 7, I really hope it doesn't carry on to 8 like yours!!! You have my upmost sympathy

There must be something else going on for her to have seen three psychiatrists. Someone must be very worried about her to keep referring her to them.

I hope you don't have any kids. If you do, I feel so sorry for them if you can think this way.

I'd tell her the other children will be making fun of her if she does it at school so it would be best to stop it now as the habit will be hard to break. Then I'd ignore it, no feed it with attention. Kids can be so annoying at times, good job we love them.

I'll also say mine had same thing with her little friendship group doing it and their mums came down hard too, it's so infuriating!

You know it"s a you problem but you punish her anyway?