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Original poster

To be in tears over my autistic DS's exam results?

450 replies

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 09:42

DS is 14, he's autistic and hasn't been in full time school since 2018 when he was excluded from mainstream primary. At the time, I honestly thought he would never be able to go back to school, his trauma from lack of support and inappropriate restraint was so deep and the violent meltdowns he was having multiple times a day were terrifying. I genuinely believed he would end up in residential care at one point. The only school in the county that said they could meet his needs was 45 miles away, and even then they admitted that they couldn't offer him more than a basic academic curriculum or an appropriate peer group as most of their students had profound LD whereas DS is very bright.

I went to every workshop and training course I could find on SEN law, took DS for independent assessments of his needs to find out what was really going on and what he really needed in order to succeed, and got him an EHCP and then a funded place in a nearby independent specialist school (specialising in children with school related trauma).

He started off going to school for an hour a week in 2019, and half the time I ended up having to take him home early as he wasn't coping. Since then, he's very slowly built up to 3 full days a week last year and he will be doing 4 days from September when he starts Yr 10.

The school are very much led by the child's interests and so have started teaching DS Latin and Greek because he showed an interest in classics (I blame Percy Jackson 🤣). They suggested he sit the intermediate certificates in both languages this summer to give him some experience of exam conditions and to give us an idea of what special arrangements he would need for his GCSEs so we could get things in place. We made very little fuss over it and he took it in his stride (he was the only candidate so it was very chill).

He just got his results and he's got A* in both Latin papers (87% on one and 94% on the other) and a Distinction in the Greek. I'm crying, he's gone back to painting Warhammer models looking baffled by my level of emotion, there's nobody else around to share this with and I don't want to brag on FB like a wanker so I'm doing it anonymously here instead!!

OP posts:
PrettyParrot · 22/08/2024 11:25

This brought a tear to my (autistic) eye :)

Don't underestimate the boost to his ego OP. I thought I was stupid until I was 16, then I went to a quieter, smaller school (random chance) and suddenly it turned out that I was the top of the class. My parents were surprised! Anyway I can remember the sudden feeling of pride in myself which came at that point, so I imagine your DS is feeling something similar, if quietly.

I've got a PhD and a pretty good job which lets me use my skills now - FYI :)

ALittleDropOfRain · 22/08/2024 11:26

Well done for trying so hard and managing to get the best for your son‘s needs. Sounds like he‘s thriving!

Frith2013 · 22/08/2024 11:28

Oh, that's excellent!

Similar story here (no school place provided for over 3 years, fought for space in only specialist provision many miles away, excluded aged 8, taught one to one from 17-18).

My child got 3 GCSEs and it was the most exciting day of my life!

GoldenLegend · 22/08/2024 11:30

This has made me a bit sniffly too.

Fruitandnuts · 22/08/2024 11:31

Fantastic 👏 lovely to read about your son.
i hope you get a nice takeaway or something special for dinner this evening 🥰

FortunataTagnips · 22/08/2024 11:31

That is bloody amazing! Huge congratulations to both of you!

MurdoMunro · 22/08/2024 11:31

This post has put a smile on my face right at the moment I needed it. For many of us victories don’t come our way too often. I hope you have a special supper this weekend - Gu pots all round! (I might even have one myself in your honour 😆)

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 22/08/2024 11:34

Fantastic! Well done to him. And to you.

FVFrog · 22/08/2024 11:35

Mum of ASD DD here, bloody brilliant, congratulations to you and your DS 💐

godmum56 · 22/08/2024 11:36

Clever son and lovely Mum

fluffy71 · 22/08/2024 11:36

Well done to your son. A hard fought victory indeed. You must be incredibly proud. My dyslexic son got 5 GCSE’s today including a 7 in history. Considering he failed his SATS I’m so proud of him.

SalviaDivinorum · 22/08/2024 11:37

Well done him (and you!)

WhitegreeNcandle · 22/08/2024 11:39

Bloody brilliant. Well done to him and you!! As an aside which program is he use to learn Latin and Greek?

JudgeJ · 22/08/2024 11:40

Dearg · 22/08/2024 09:45

Aw that is fantastic ! Well done to your amazing son, and well done you for advocating so hard for him!

Reading this brought a tear to my eye❤️ Tell him Congratulations from a random stranger who also loved Latin
Ad altiora tendo

And you are allowed to brag in the instance, well done to him and to you!

AnonAnonEmouse · 22/08/2024 11:41

Absolutely wonderful! Well done to your DS OP and bloody well done to you too! Absolutely incredible what children can achieve when given the right support opportunities- and you got these for him OP! Amazing, both of you Star

Original poster
SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 11:42

fluffy71 · 22/08/2024 11:36

Well done to your son. A hard fought victory indeed. You must be incredibly proud. My dyslexic son got 5 GCSE’s today including a 7 in history. Considering he failed his SATS I’m so proud of him.

Congratulations to your son!!

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 22/08/2024 11:42

OP, put it this way, you’re not the only one crying over his results. Well done to him and , just as importantly, to you! I’m proud of you both and I don’t even know you!

Cloverforever · 22/08/2024 11:42

Fantastic post OP, the both of you should feel amazingly proud.

I have a good friend with a very similar sounding son, and I know the stress she has been through fighting against the system, and other people's opinions on how her son is affected and the issues caused. It is so good to read that both of your efforts have been rewarded.

M103 · 22/08/2024 11:42

Amazing 👏👏👏

JosieB68 · 22/08/2024 11:43

Amazing well done 👏 what a journey you have both had!

Itsnotallalark · 22/08/2024 11:43

What a wonderful post.
My grandson starts mainstream primary school in September - only an hour a day with one to one support - but your post has given me hope.
Congratulations.

Iwanttobuticant · 22/08/2024 11:43

Bloody brilliant 👏

as a mum of an autistic DD I can appreciate the challenges we and them face trying to get through our education system. The school he is at now sound amazing. Good for you for advocating for your DS and doing your best for him. Its news like this that make it worthwhile. Hope you’re going to be celebrating later?!🥂

Beforetheend · 22/08/2024 11:43

Tears in my eyes reading that. Relating to so much, and yes…more than a tiny bit jealous … but so pleased for you both. What a mountain you’ve climbed!

ClipTap · 22/08/2024 11:44

Wow that's so amazing

I bet the teachers are so proud of him too

You were so lucky the school was close to you only 45 mins away

80smonster · 22/08/2024 11:45

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 09:42

DS is 14, he's autistic and hasn't been in full time school since 2018 when he was excluded from mainstream primary. At the time, I honestly thought he would never be able to go back to school, his trauma from lack of support and inappropriate restraint was so deep and the violent meltdowns he was having multiple times a day were terrifying. I genuinely believed he would end up in residential care at one point. The only school in the county that said they could meet his needs was 45 miles away, and even then they admitted that they couldn't offer him more than a basic academic curriculum or an appropriate peer group as most of their students had profound LD whereas DS is very bright.

I went to every workshop and training course I could find on SEN law, took DS for independent assessments of his needs to find out what was really going on and what he really needed in order to succeed, and got him an EHCP and then a funded place in a nearby independent specialist school (specialising in children with school related trauma).

He started off going to school for an hour a week in 2019, and half the time I ended up having to take him home early as he wasn't coping. Since then, he's very slowly built up to 3 full days a week last year and he will be doing 4 days from September when he starts Yr 10.

The school are very much led by the child's interests and so have started teaching DS Latin and Greek because he showed an interest in classics (I blame Percy Jackson 🤣). They suggested he sit the intermediate certificates in both languages this summer to give him some experience of exam conditions and to give us an idea of what special arrangements he would need for his GCSEs so we could get things in place. We made very little fuss over it and he took it in his stride (he was the only candidate so it was very chill).

He just got his results and he's got A* in both Latin papers (87% on one and 94% on the other) and a Distinction in the Greek. I'm crying, he's gone back to painting Warhammer models looking baffled by my level of emotion, there's nobody else around to share this with and I don't want to brag on FB like a wanker so I'm doing it anonymously here instead!!

Massive congratulations to you and your son. It sounds like you’ve got a languages expert on your hands there. What an amazing result for you both, it sounds like you have worked tirelessly to get your child into the best setting, bravo to you. Lots of parents wouldn’t have put up the fight you did, and would not have reaped this efforts rich rewards.