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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be in tears over my autistic DS's exam results?

450 replies

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 09:42

DS is 14, he's autistic and hasn't been in full time school since 2018 when he was excluded from mainstream primary. At the time, I honestly thought he would never be able to go back to school, his trauma from lack of support and inappropriate restraint was so deep and the violent meltdowns he was having multiple times a day were terrifying. I genuinely believed he would end up in residential care at one point. The only school in the county that said they could meet his needs was 45 miles away, and even then they admitted that they couldn't offer him more than a basic academic curriculum or an appropriate peer group as most of their students had profound LD whereas DS is very bright.

I went to every workshop and training course I could find on SEN law, took DS for independent assessments of his needs to find out what was really going on and what he really needed in order to succeed, and got him an EHCP and then a funded place in a nearby independent specialist school (specialising in children with school related trauma).

He started off going to school for an hour a week in 2019, and half the time I ended up having to take him home early as he wasn't coping. Since then, he's very slowly built up to 3 full days a week last year and he will be doing 4 days from September when he starts Yr 10.

The school are very much led by the child's interests and so have started teaching DS Latin and Greek because he showed an interest in classics (I blame Percy Jackson 🤣). They suggested he sit the intermediate certificates in both languages this summer to give him some experience of exam conditions and to give us an idea of what special arrangements he would need for his GCSEs so we could get things in place. We made very little fuss over it and he took it in his stride (he was the only candidate so it was very chill).

He just got his results and he's got A* in both Latin papers (87% on one and 94% on the other) and a Distinction in the Greek. I'm crying, he's gone back to painting Warhammer models looking baffled by my level of emotion, there's nobody else around to share this with and I don't want to brag on FB like a wanker so I'm doing it anonymously here instead!!

OP posts:
ForTheLoveOfJackDaniels · 22/08/2024 11:14

I really thought that you were crying with disappointment when I read your thread title! It was so lovely to get to the end of your post and see such a wonderful outcome for you both.

Bloody well done :)

SchoolDramas · 22/08/2024 11:15

That is really amazing, well done to him and you 🎉

zingally · 22/08/2024 11:15

Congratulations to you both!!

userloadsofnumbers · 22/08/2024 11:15

Love this - I'm also crying in happiness for you both. Well done to your amazing DS and to you for supporting him and enabling him to achieve this.

MissingMoominMamma · 22/08/2024 11:16

That’s fantastic!! 🤩🤩🤩

ilvautmieux · 22/08/2024 11:17

That's wonderful news - very well done to both of you!

ladymalfoy45 · 22/08/2024 11:17

Brilliant news!
Would he mind if you posted pics of his painted figures? I've always admired the skill and dedication needed to paint miniatures.

happyp19 · 22/08/2024 11:17

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WTAFisthisnonsense · 22/08/2024 11:17

Wow. What a wonderful achievement @SelkieSeal's DS.

Having studied Latin, I know how bloody difficult it is. He is a star, with a wonderful mum.

happyp19 · 22/08/2024 11:17

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happyp19 · 22/08/2024 11:18

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Pooky001 · 22/08/2024 11:18

That’s wonderful ❤️

happyp19 · 22/08/2024 11:18

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GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 22/08/2024 11:19

Aw you've just made me tear up 🥲 @SelkieSeal - huge congratulations to your son!!

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 22/08/2024 11:19

Massive congratulations, that's amazing!!

hiredandsqueak · 22/08/2024 11:20

Well done to your son and you for being the warrior mother your son needed to get him the placement he needed.

GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 22/08/2024 11:21

What is going on with you @happyp19 ?
You're just being nasty, there's no need.

@SelkieSeal ignore anything from this poster.

itsgettingweird · 22/08/2024 11:21

That's phenomenal 🥳

I'd be shouting it from the rooftops to anyone that would listen (or could hear - I wouldn't care if they wanted to hear it 😂)

And remember what you've done in this. What an amazing lad with an amazing parent willing to do everything to get them what they need.

redtrain123 · 22/08/2024 11:21

Well done to all of you - he wouldn’t have done it without you.

Barney16 · 22/08/2024 11:22

That made me cry. Very well done to your son and very well done to you for all your care and devotion.

AnnaMagnani · 22/08/2024 11:22

Both of you are amazing 👏

I'm now welling up too.

2ndMrsdeWinter · 22/08/2024 11:23

CONGRATULATIONS to you and your lovely dc, op.

what a richly deserved set of results. He is so very lucky to have you as his mother and advocate. For you 💐

GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 22/08/2024 11:23

redtrain123 · 22/08/2024 11:21

Well done to all of you - he wouldn’t have done it without you.

This is absolutely right!! You've been his champion all these years, so you deserve the praise too 🙌 👏

Turophilic · 22/08/2024 11:23

@SelkieSeal - thank the gods for Warhammer!

I know exactly how you feel. The first time my son actually went to a friend's house by choice and unprompted - also for Warhammer - I had tears in my eyes.
When he went away to stay with friends for a weekend, using public transport and everything, it felt like Christmas had come early. Seeing them having fun and being with friends is such a great reward for all the struggles it took to get there.

Scirocco · 22/08/2024 11:25

Those are amazing exam results - huge congratulations to your DS!