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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be in tears over my autistic DS's exam results?

450 replies

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 09:42

DS is 14, he's autistic and hasn't been in full time school since 2018 when he was excluded from mainstream primary. At the time, I honestly thought he would never be able to go back to school, his trauma from lack of support and inappropriate restraint was so deep and the violent meltdowns he was having multiple times a day were terrifying. I genuinely believed he would end up in residential care at one point. The only school in the county that said they could meet his needs was 45 miles away, and even then they admitted that they couldn't offer him more than a basic academic curriculum or an appropriate peer group as most of their students had profound LD whereas DS is very bright.

I went to every workshop and training course I could find on SEN law, took DS for independent assessments of his needs to find out what was really going on and what he really needed in order to succeed, and got him an EHCP and then a funded place in a nearby independent specialist school (specialising in children with school related trauma).

He started off going to school for an hour a week in 2019, and half the time I ended up having to take him home early as he wasn't coping. Since then, he's very slowly built up to 3 full days a week last year and he will be doing 4 days from September when he starts Yr 10.

The school are very much led by the child's interests and so have started teaching DS Latin and Greek because he showed an interest in classics (I blame Percy Jackson 🤣). They suggested he sit the intermediate certificates in both languages this summer to give him some experience of exam conditions and to give us an idea of what special arrangements he would need for his GCSEs so we could get things in place. We made very little fuss over it and he took it in his stride (he was the only candidate so it was very chill).

He just got his results and he's got A* in both Latin papers (87% on one and 94% on the other) and a Distinction in the Greek. I'm crying, he's gone back to painting Warhammer models looking baffled by my level of emotion, there's nobody else around to share this with and I don't want to brag on FB like a wanker so I'm doing it anonymously here instead!!

OP posts:
Scottishgirl85 · 22/08/2024 13:24

I'm an emotion sod and just shed a few tears reading that. What an absolute superstar. That's the loveliest thing I've read in a long time 💐Congratulations to your awesome son x

thisisasurvivor · 22/08/2024 13:25

My heart is filled with joy for you

My gosh

Amazing !!!!!!

TealPoet · 22/08/2024 13:26

Well done to you both! That’s an awesome testament to your efforts and what your love has done for him <3

TwoProngedFork · 22/08/2024 13:27

Tears welling up here OP. So, so pleased for you. Keep on keeping on 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾. Well done!!

Allthehorsesintheworld · 22/08/2024 13:29

Amazing, brilliant results. Well done to both of you, what a team. 🌟🌟🌟

Jk987 · 22/08/2024 13:34

Amazing results in what is surely the hardest possible subjects! Well done to him and to you for being there all the way.

Notellinganyone · 22/08/2024 13:35

How fantastic for you. I can’t imagine the trauma and frustration you’ve gone through. Your DS is so lucky to have had you to advocate for him.

Clearwater18 · 22/08/2024 13:35

Congratulations to you & your son.He may be autistic but he is also gifted having gained results like this in such difficult subjects. I'd make sure all the appropriate educational establishments got to hear about him and his achievements while keeping on advocating for him to receive the best education possible.

CharlotteLucas3 · 22/08/2024 13:35

Yay! Well done🙂🙂🙂. I have an autistic nineteen year old who’s very academic but I was worried he wouldn’t manage on his own at uni. He’s completed his first year and looked after himself very well. Got a first in all eight modules.

You’re a fantastic mum! You should get the praise you deserve. I bet you don’t get it in real life.

HeronTwist · 22/08/2024 13:37

What an incredible achievement! You have both come so far, from one hour a week, building up like that.
sounds like you have been a relentless advocate, and you should be very proud both of yourself and your son.

TypingoftheDead · 22/08/2024 13:37

Huge congratulations to your DS!

WhitegreeNcandle · 22/08/2024 13:39

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 11:50

He's doing the Cambridge Latin course (I think it leads to an IGCSE?), and the OCR Ancient Greek. The certificates he just sat were the intermediate ones, basically what kids who aren't carrying it on to GCSE can sit to show the standard they reached (DS is doing both GCSEs though).

When he very first started being interested in Latin, before school picked it up and ran with it, we used a CD and workbook called Minimus The Mouse that I found in a charity shop! We used to listen to it in the car and repeat phrases like "hortus squalidus est" together 🤣

He also has an app that he uses for Greek vocab, it's called LP Ancient Greek (cost about £3 I think, logo is a blue owl).

Amazing thank you.

LemonMead · 22/08/2024 13:41

Who's voted U on this? May they step on LEGO and upturned plugs, OP. Massive well done to your boy x

AlwaysColdHands · 22/08/2024 13:45

This is so lovely and I’m so pleased for you both. Thank you for sharing. Youve obviously been a super support to him, well done you!

PralinesandCream · 22/08/2024 13:45

So happy for both of you❤congratulations.

morningtoncrescent62 · 22/08/2024 13:48

Huge congratulations to your DS, to you, and to everyone else in his backstage team. Just goes to show you should never give up on a child, but that's sometimes easier said than done. So lovely to hear some good news, thanks OP.

brogueish · 22/08/2024 13:50

Very well done to both of you. How wonderful!

blackpear · 22/08/2024 13:51

Hurrah! how brilliant - huge congrats to your son!

Topodibiblioteca · 22/08/2024 13:53

Such an inspiring post. Just shows how perseverance and patience can pay off. From 1 hour of school a week and it all feeling (and I imagine looking) a bit hopeless to this.
💐💪😀

Shan5474 · 22/08/2024 13:56

So happy for you and a big well done to DS!! So many posts on MN recently about family dramas and relationship problems, this is lovely to read and has brightened my day 😊😊

Idontgiveashitanymore · 22/08/2024 14:00

Fantastic news. Well done x

Fundays12 · 22/08/2024 14:03

Amazing well done to you both

millymae · 22/08/2024 14:07

What a lovely post. Huge congratulations to your son and to you too for fighting his corner every step of the way.

RubyMentor · 22/08/2024 14:11

What an amazing mother you are! Congratulations to your son and brag away - you deserve it!

Igmum · 22/08/2024 14:20

Congratulations, wonderful results

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