Parent didn't show up for play date

[Jennybeans401]

I'd arranged a playdate for dd2 (8) and I'd agreed with the parent to meet at Pizza Express (mid way point) and I'd pick up lunch and take dd's friend back to our house. I'd arranged this night before, several messages all exchanged which were positive.

On the day dd was excited and I bought pizzas and waited at the restaurant for nearly 40 minutes.Dd was getting worried.I text the parent to check all was OK as hadn't heard anything. Ten minutes later the parent rang me to say the child had a sniffle and they'd been making their lunch so forgot to let me know that the playdate was cancelled. They then started asking if we could have the playdate tomorrow or as soon as possible. I was reluctant to commit.

AIBU to think they could've let me know earlier? If they were making lunch surely they'd realise they should message? Dd2 was disappointed.

I’m an older Mum but would never have allowed my children out alone at 8 years old, unless they were in my garden. Play dates were quite common in my area Wales 30+ years ago. I doubt I’d arrange another play date with them unless it was at my home and they dropped off and picked up.

I know, the only 8 year olds riding bikes around town unsupervised and carrying their own mobile phones around here are being used as drug couriers 😂

The news today about Kirstie Allsopp being reported to social services (and SS taking the report seriously) for letting her 15 year old travel alone a month before his 16th birthday would definitely suggest that 8 year-olds out alone on bikes would raise social services eyebrows!

She let her 15 year old son travel round Europe on his own. Different to letting your kids ride round the block on their bike 🙄🙄🙄🙄

My eldest is 30. They are called play dates then

You seem strangely hostile

Many of us were not 'roaming the streets' aged 9. Or any age for that matter.

@shuggles - what 8 year old has a mobile? My daughter is 13 and doesn’t even ‘roam around on her own’…. 5 years ago at 8 none of her friends had phones, and I can assure you we most certainly had play dates in the 80’s and 90’s… in fact we had friends rounds our houses more so back then than kids do now… now we tend to meet up at trampoline parks or go theme parks (well when DD was 8 till about a year or so ago!)
I don’t know where you live where 8 year olds have phones and hang around unsupervised but never happens where we are in the south. 8 is far too young to be hanging around in parks etc with their friends. They’re not even allowed to walk home from school alone at 8!
our teachers still have to see an appropriate adult picking up the kids in year 3 & 4…

We did too occasionally , even though we generally lived close, didn’t call them play ‘dates’ though.

How old are you? We certainly did this in the 80s, but maybe you're younger?

We actually even had playdates in the 80s though we didn't have that word, but of course there was also playing outside without supervision
Shuggles is right about that.

I was 8 in the eighties. No roaming the streets but allowed to play outside the house in the street (quiet cul de sac). Played with neighbours kids but was driven to classmates houses - didn’t call them play dates but was either dropped off and collected or, in my mum knew their mum, she stayed and had coffee.

Yes, but different ages too. It's the same over-protective attitude.
See the post above by the MNer who said she couldn't roam alone at ANY age? I'm not sure what that means as she's presumably not typing this with her mother watching her so she must have been let out alone at some point.

Maybe not 🙈🙈🙈. I don’t know exactly were my 8 year old is right now. He’s on the estate somewhere playing football with his friends. He’s not allowed off the estate. But anyway I’ll be expecting social services any minute 🙄🙄🙄

I played with my brother and neighbour friends in our very safe cul-de-sac when I was 8, but I also definitely still had play dates at school friends houses etc! I wouldn’t have been allowed to cycle off streets away alone at that age! I wouldn’t allow my kids to do so now either!
I’m 37… play date isn’t new!

Tell the Mum that you're happy to have her DD come over another day as long as she's ok dropping her & picking her up from your home. Don't be arranging another 'meet you half way' playdate in case it happens again.

My daughter invited twins once from class to her birthday party of 15 kids - with a magician, hired hall, party bags, food boxes etc.
The twins didn't turn up ....we waited....I rang the mum....no answer.... I told the magician to go ahead.
Had the party, all lovely.
That night 7 pm I got a msg saying sorry the twins didn't come - someone dropped round the house so we just played in the garden instead!
Really put me off inviting twins again....and she works in a school!!!
So rude to us and my child.
Mind you that was 18 years ago..... it's a good thing I don't hold a grudge.....( I do)