Family holiday drama

[familydrama1]

So we are due to go on holiday next year with family. We invited my parents, they booked their own room - they then invited my nephew (who is 17). My brother didn't pay for my nephew or even offer to pay for their place.

I found out I was pregnant recently and can't book the baby's space until they are born. Also there will be no spaces as, the baby is due 4 months before the holiday. Anyone we trust with our child will be on that holiday. We need to take my nephew off the booking and change it to the baby when they are born.

AIBU to take my nephew off the booking (I have spoken to my parents about this and they understand) but I know my brother won't be happy and it will cause drama. Or should just not go and lose thousands 😣

Need an outside perspective pleaseeee

I take it the cruise was booked before you got pregnant? Did you not account for possibly being pregnant when you booked it? Or was it one of these miracle surprise pregnancies?

So it's room 1 your parents, nephew and your child

Room 2 you, husband and how many other children?

I'd book an entirely different holiday. Sounds like you only invited your parents so your child could go on with them?

Seems mean to not allow your nephew to go, though I'd be surprised if they will swap a baby for a teen on the booking. Babies (under 1s) are usually limited on cruises and can't be swapped for an over 1 under 18 (or 21 depending on the cruise company)

I'm waiting for the DM to pick this up and the subsequent deletion. I don't think the op wants answers that don't agree with the nephew being kicked off the holiday.

What cruise line are you travelling with? We are going away with family & it was booked before baby was born. They used our surname and he was down as “infant” on the booking.

No, her “freeloading brother” won’t have to pay for that contribution - not unless her parents insist and he agrees. The nephew is the parent’s guest and they’re treating him, so they may feel that if more needs to be paid for him, they should cover it.

The parents asked the nephew if he wanted to come directly and paid for him, the brother wasn’t involved in the invitation or the payment. The OP and you would clearly love the brother to have to pay for his son but that’s unreasonable here based purely on past family dynamics, but that’s emotive and unreasonable here because his son was invited on the understanding the parents paid.

Actually I agree with what you've said.

Yes you are being unreasonable. To give you the benefit of doubt, let’s blame your hormones! That poor boy, he will feel absolutely gutted to be dropped. You may not have invited him but you didn’t say no at the time. Therefore by default have agreed. You’ve clearly alienated him in your mind but don’t be selfish and cruel. A 17 year old wouldn’t normally want to holiday with family members so be fair to him.

A newborn baby can be accommodated. No way is he/she going to be allocated their own room etc. so nobody needs to lose their space. You’re totally overthinking the issue. You have time to contact the company and explain. They will accommodate you.

I can’t believe people are still replying the this 🙈 OP has no intention of answering the questions on which cruise line etc because she knows she’s making it up as she goes along.

Why should she not go, out of interest, she wants to go on holiday with her husband and children and baby.

I think you’re just going to have to lump this one because your mum sees this as a favour to both kids: she comes along so that you have an adult with your daughter and then invites your nephew to keep your brother happy.

I think you should go back to the cruise line and change your cabin to one with a bigger capacity.

There is no way you can’t book another room before the baby is born! If there are rooms available, anyone can book one. What size are the suites , maybe that is the answer - upgrade your room to a suite! Alternatively the nephew gets his own smaller room, which at 17 (18 when you go?) is way more appropriate anyway.

It sounds like both you and your brother have a selfish/entitled gene that needs to be challenged! It’s not the nephew’s fault.

Maybe you should have thought about that before getting pregnant again. Honestly you sound awful, your parents ts paid for your nephew not you and are already doing you a favor by having one of your kids in their room. Book another room and you and your husband go in two different rooms and actually take care of all your children yourself.

Why can't you book a room for your husband and one kid and then add the baby onto either his or your room once it's born.

The problem with this is that means paying for an entire other room, as well as paying the £1200 towards her parents room, which her DD will then no longer even be staying in. That makes it quite an expensive holiday

She’d have had to do this anyway if she hadn’t “invited” her parents (to pay for themselves).

But she wouldn’t have been paying the extra £1200 towards their room then. If her parents are happy covering the full cost of their room given the change in circumstances, then I think that would be best and they use the £1200 towards a second room for them.
Really, having 2 young kids in with her parents will be crap, especially as under 6s can’t use the top bunk so her parents will both have to be on a top bunk. I know my parents wouldn’t want that. Fitting a cot and 3 other people in OPs room would also be shit. Much better to have 3 people in each room and actually have some space for everyone

And also paying for the child if she ends nephew’s holiday - or does she expect the 2nd child to be paid by the grandparents.

I don't actually believe she paid that much, she added that when no one agreed with her but under 18s on cruises are usually very cheap so unlikely to be very different for her parents whether they have any children in the room or not.(In fact 3th & 4th passenger are usually very cheap whether adult or child).

She said her nephew was £150 which sounds about right, and that was on top of the initial room cost. But just over £2000 for 2 adults and one child initially is very cheap anyway, unless you’re saying she didn’t actually contribute the £1200 in the first place. Whether she did or not the total cost for 2 rooms wouldn’t be that much more

Your story keeps changing. Are all the rooms fully booked or not? You firstly said they were then said you couldn’t book one because you’d need another adult. Would your 17 year old nephew be 18 by the time the holiday happens? So therefore an adult? It would be as unfair to kick him off as it would to leave one of your children behind (who I’m not sure were mentioned in the original post hence why everyone was so confused)

No if the Dd isn’t in the parents room op shouldn’t have to pay towards that.

You can't just change the rules to suit you because your circumstances have changed and expect to cancel other people or make them pay more.

No that’s true; but I think in this case she can point out it’s been complicated by the fact the Dm invited the DN. But I agree she can’t very well uninvite the DN.
The whole issue here is op has more Dc than she and her DH want to deal with/ pay for themselves in their own rooms so she involved the parents to help spread them round physically and spread the cost.

She hasn’t under paid!

£2000 for one room and £1200 for half the other room.

OP has paid for herself her husband and their 4 children.

DN paid nothing

OP DP’s paid less than half for their room.

She can afford all the children - she just needs a space.

Personally I’d scrap this holiday, claim your money back and rebook something else. Your parents could choose to do the same.

Her getting pregnant is more of a complication than the nephew as she knew her parents had invited him and now she doesn't have space for that baby.