Family holiday drama

[familydrama1]

So we are due to go on holiday next year with family. We invited my parents, they booked their own room - they then invited my nephew (who is 17). My brother didn't pay for my nephew or even offer to pay for their place.

I found out I was pregnant recently and can't book the baby's space until they are born. Also there will be no spaces as, the baby is due 4 months before the holiday. Anyone we trust with our child will be on that holiday. We need to take my nephew off the booking and change it to the baby when they are born.

AIBU to take my nephew off the booking (I have spoken to my parents about this and they understand) but I know my brother won't be happy and it will cause drama. Or should just not go and lose thousands 😣

Need an outside perspective pleaseeee

At no point in this thread (which I have only read about half of) has it been clear to me how anything about the OP's situation would have been different if DN had not been added to the parents' booking.

Why does it have to be the nephew? Cancel one of your own kids, you've created the situation so not sure why your nephew is the one to suffer.

I don't understand the bit about you can't book a room for unborn baby, surely you take you out of your room and book a room for yourself, then add baby on.

It really wasn't your mother's place to invite someone else from her family when it is you and your husband's family that are going on this holiday.

but then you shouldn't really have invited your parents when it is you and your husband's family that are going on this holiday - however it does sound like you needed the 2 adults as you have put one of your children into the room with them.

I guess you already have 3 children, so as a family you needed 2 rooms, and if you hadn't invited your parents then you would have had one room with 2 children and your husband would have the other room with one child, as you can't put one child in a room unaccompanied by an adult ?

Yabvu

I wouldn't want to take a young baby on a cruise regardless. They are floating petri dishes and renowned for infectious disease outbreaks such as norovirus and covid.

You'll only need a travel cot so nephew can still go.

if your brother has 3 kids then why is only one being taken away on a holiday with your DH family?

however it does sound like you needed the 2 adults as you have put one of your children into the room with them

Thats not true is it?

OP has two adults and 3 (soon to be 4 children)

Booking 2 connected rooms would give them more space and by the sounds of it OP has paid for her 5 and half her parents cabin so hasn’t saved much money really.

I think you need to either book a further cabin and split you and DH or pull out -

I don’t think it’s fair your DN is going ‘free’ but as your mum had the idea I don’t think you can complain.

I think in fairness because there would be a spare berth in the grandparents cabin, so the grandparents could have taken two of the small children and op could have stayed with her DH and the baby and one child. But it all seems a huge imposition on the grandparents to have not one but two under 6, when what really would be a normal solution is for op and her DH to split up and have two of their children each.

That's actually a good point!

You should be able to add the unborn child as - inf x xxxxx , I was a travel agent many moons ago, this is how we would book unborn babies, a cot would be placed in your room or I guess the cruise line could ask you to provide a travel cot.

I think it is unreasonable to ask your nephew to cancel, regardless of who invited him, it’s not his fault your pregnant.

Just book another room now. Move yourself into the new room on the booking with a child. Book a child you know, then substitute your baby for said child after the baby is born and you have travel documents for them.

You can travel with whatever age you want. Could be a week old

Well

why ask the question if this is the only option?

I don’t think many / any cruise ships would accept a baby of that age.

Then why ask?

if you knew you wouldn’t cancel it and lose the money (like your actual original post stated you’d do). Then why ask?

what you wanted to happen was for everyone to go yeah take the nephew off

they haven’t. So why ask?

it drives me insane when people don’t actually want you to answer the question they asked!

Not on a cruise, minimum age is 6 months or 12 months if cruise does not dock for more than 3 days.

4 months. Then 6 months?

So get another room and put your husband in it.

More holes in this story than a Block of cheese!

You could book a separate room for your husband and name a random family child who won't be going, and whose name will be switched out for your new baby once born.

You have one room with two of kids, your husband has another room with the other two of your kids.

You tell your parents that you're very sorry but you're going to need that £1200 back because your daughter will actually be sleeping in with you. They were planning on paying full price anyway, and they could ask for your brother to contribute for his son if they wanted to.

This costs you an extra £1200. Not ideal, but you're getting a whole extra room. And if a 6 month old baby counts as a full paying customer with regards to a cruise, then it makes sense you'll need to pay extra for them.

Ahh. My bad. I thought they meant travel in general

didnt read the cruise hit

The whole 'holiday' sounds a headache OP. I'd cancel and either lose my deposit, claim on insurance or rebook for the following year.
Going on a cruise with a 4 month old isn't possible.
If the baby is 6 months old, it will be very hard work.
What if you are overdue and its 5 1/2 months at the time of the cruise?
3 kids and a 6 month old at sea in a cabin is no holiday.

Seriously? You want to dump your nephew and tell him he can’t come on holiday anymore just so your baby can sleep in the cabin with your mum?

This is a you problem. You and your DH need to suck it up, book an extra cabin for your DH to sleep in. There will be 2 parents + 4 children.

cabin 1: You, baby + child
cabin 2: DH + 2 children

Your mum shares a cabin with your nephew.

Any other family sort their own cabins/sleeping arrangements.

If you don’t want to spend the whole cruise sleeping with the baby solely in your cabin, then you and DH take it in turns swapping. Get cabins next door to each other or at least on the same floor. Ask your mum and other family members to help you throughout the holiday to give you a bit of downtime and even see if you and DH could get someone to babysit whilst your on the cruise so you get some couple time too.

Unfortunately holidays become a logistical nightmare when there several children to consider because most hotel rooms are not geared up for more than 2 adults + 2 kids. So you are gonna have this issue again and again. You and DH have to accept that you won’t always be able to share a room together on holiday anymore.

If you’re not willing to do this or there are no cabins left now then I’m afraid you need to cancel your holiday.

Penultimate paragraph is really my take on this whole thing op. You are just attempting to stave off a problem that is now a long term one: you are now a two hotel room family - eventually probably three once they are teens. Causing a family drama to try to get around this for this one year isn’t worth it in the bigger scheme of things.