Family holiday drama

[familydrama1]

So we are due to go on holiday next year with family. We invited my parents, they booked their own room - they then invited my nephew (who is 17). My brother didn't pay for my nephew or even offer to pay for their place.

I found out I was pregnant recently and can't book the baby's space until they are born. Also there will be no spaces as, the baby is due 4 months before the holiday. Anyone we trust with our child will be on that holiday. We need to take my nephew off the booking and change it to the baby when they are born.

AIBU to take my nephew off the booking (I have spoken to my parents about this and they understand) but I know my brother won't be happy and it will cause drama. Or should just not go and lose thousands 😣

Need an outside perspective pleaseeee

Seems very mean to the nephew
With a newborn baby, isn’t it better if OP doesn’t go?
Also cruise ships are horrendous for the environment

Cruising with a baby is great. That said, many cruise lines have a minimum age of 4 or 6 months, so the OP needs to confirm the cruise line. Also, babies are often in addition to other passengers, depending on the cruise line.

"We were going to pay for 2 rooms initially but my parents offered to take a child in their room so we didn't have to. Then my mum invited my nephew without asking me. I believe she only did this to invite my nephew with her. Because if my brother found out she was going on holiday without taking one of his kids, he will probably not talk to my parents and my mum is scared of him."

Sounds like a horrible situation all round. Maybe just cancel and try again when the nephew is old enough not to want to come, and the baby is old enough to enjoy a cruise? Or else go ahead and pay for the extra room anyway.

Who would you have booted off if your Nephew hadn't been booked on?

Does the nephew even want to go? I’m not sure my nephew would want to go on a holiday with all my husband’s extended family.

there would have been an extra space in grandparents’ cabin for another of op’s children.

I have RTFT and am simply aghast that the advice is generally 'book an extra cabin OR cancel because you ABU to boot off poor nephew'.

I feel for you in the instance where DM invited the DN son of freeloading DB - as we had similar in my family, historically. My DM used to invite my DN to all sorts.

My understanding is that cabins have a capacity for 4. You have paid for 6 'berths', your 4 plus half of your DParents cabin. As a family of 5, you were fine. DM has bizarrely invite ONE DN to use the vacant spot. DB has form for not contributing and has not offered any contribution - perhaps your 17/18 yo DN is a wonderful lad who will happily play with his much younger cousins, perhaps he would be like mine and contribute very little to the family enjoyment (who would have needed to be supervised around children as he usually reduced them to tears). Whichever is the case, you have paid for 6 berths, and you did not invite him.

I am stunned at the view you shoud have managed your birth control around his feelings.

Were you to pay for a third cabin, your capacity now would be 12 people. Would there now be an expectation to be 'fair' and bring all 3 DNs. 'Book another room' is thrown around as if it's an AirBnB for a night. It's 2K+, and DB is not contributing.

I would absolutely explain to DB and DN that with your pregnancy, the holiday is at full capacity and you must withdraw your DMs invitation for him to join you. And I wouldn't be one bit worried about DB 'falling out' with family - who else will mind his kids for free?

You could suggest as an option that he mind the new baby for the duration of the holiday. Ask DB for solutions.

Cruises tend to charge per person for the 3rd and 4th person in a cabin so it unlikely OP has paid for the 4th berth

Ah that explains quite a lot

I didn't realise this - is that where DN paid 150(?) came in? Is it a relatively small charge for the 3rd and 4th occupant.

It's a long time since I've cruised (honeymoon) and we were just 2 😊but we often do an activity holiday where you pay for apartment, which factors in a lot of resort costs. So below full occupancy makes the apartment very expensive, but no extra for full occupancy. I assumed cruises were the same

People on cruises catch horrible viruses. May be don't do it with a newborn

I’m not sure why you’ve posted this as you’ve already made your mind up what you’re going to do!

There’s a lot of these threads of late: phrased as a question/ request for advice; unwanted responses resisted with fiery indignance; then flouncing off the thread.

Can you take a 4 month old on a cruise?

I've never been on a cruise, but I'm surprised a 17 Yr old would count as a child. Children are usually under 16, or 16/under.

How old exactly will baby be at the time of the holiday? Minimum age is 6 months - will that be ok if you go over your due date by a fortnight?

You are not being unreasonable at all.
It's your trip
Your mum's shouldn't have invited him
Tell your mum to uninvite him and say the rooms are at full capacity
This is not your fault at all
And
Btw
Congrats ...hope your pregnancy goes smooth sailing
Don't stress about other people who clearly don't care about putting you out. Be firm. Say no.

I wouldn't dream of taking an infant on a cruise. It's not even born, there is no knowing whether it will be able to cope with the motion. I say this as one who has always had terrible motion sickness even as a child, I can get it even in intercity trains if they tilt. And I'm not the only one, I and a kind guard once had to console and help one poor girl who was throwing up on just such a train.

If I were the OP's mother I would cancel my booking and set up a nice holiday just for me and DH. The whole thing soulds alike a disaster in the making all round.
That's ignoring the fact that for me a cruise with a large family party would be a holiday from hell anyway, even if I wasn't throwing up all the time, which I would be.
I love my family, and have even been on holiday with some of them at various times, but NOT all at once.

This post (and the follow up replies from op) makes zero sense. Drip feed and variable situation...I say it's a wind up!

All of which ignores the fact that the OP wasn't dealing with this issue until after they were expecting. That's the thing that's changed. Which is not the nephew's fault.
If I was the nephew I'd be doing my best to get out of the trip anyway, it sounds to me like it will be hell on wheels even if everyone gets a bed. I wonder if anyone has asked him whether he even wants to go?

Not on a cruise. They have a minimum age for babies.

I think, given how small the baby will be etc, you stay home with the baby and DH takes the older kids on holiday without you.

It's not your business to take your nephew off the booking. He was invited by your parents and you aren't paying for his place!

This sounds mental. If the baby can't be in a cot in your room, why the hell would yu go on the cruise. If its booked to capacity,sell the tickets. This sounds so made up or like you're trying to be difficult.

Your nephew hasn't done anything wrong fgs