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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in not making Dh's packed lunch for him every day?

105 replies

pedilia · 16/04/2008 22:18

He will do it and doesn't ask me to but makes little comments that suggests he thinks I should be doing it, as in 'everyones wife at work makes them a packed lunch'

OP posts:
Pablop · 16/04/2008 22:20

Do you work pedilia? I'm on maternity leave and husband works long hours so I make them sometimes.

moaningminnie2020 · 16/04/2008 22:21

" Gosh, aren't they lucky??" said in a deadpan fashion?

bran · 16/04/2008 22:21

Is that the same 'everyone' who buys their kids everything that your child wants but doesn't get.

hippipotami · 16/04/2008 22:21

I have to admit, I make dh's lunch.
But we have a very traditional set up which suits us both. He works, I run the house (and am about to start a teeny tiny part time temporary job)

BUT, my dh is always grateful for his packed lunch, and if I have ever not made it due to running out of bread/no time etc, he always says it is absolutely fine and he does not expect me to make his lunch every day.

So I don't mind doing it

VacantlyPretty · 16/04/2008 22:22

Message withdrawn

moaningminnie2020 · 16/04/2008 22:22

Must admit, I made DH's while I was on ML too, now I'm back at work I always find I'm busy with something or other when the sandwiches need making - purely coincidence, obviously

themildmanneredjanitor · 16/04/2008 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllieG · 16/04/2008 22:24

I'd tell my DP to feck off if he said that to me! In a fairly jokey way, but would make point. A grown man is perfectly capable of making his own lunch.

nametaken · 16/04/2008 22:25

'everyones wife at work makes them a packed lunch'

or alternatively

every hubby makes their own lunch but says that everybody else gets their lunch made by their wives in order to try and trick their wives into doing for them because they can't be arsed.

Be warned, this is just the start. The next thing you know you'll be ironing his underpants, making his dentist appointments and picking up his prescriptions for him.

DON'T DO IT

gagarin · 16/04/2008 22:25

If you are a SAHM who makes the kids packed lunches then feel free to make his too if you have time - but no need to make them nice!

If you work and take a packed lunch yourself then he should take turns with you to make them.

If he's the only one to take packed lunches then he's taking liberties...

fuzzywuzzy · 16/04/2008 22:25

make his lunch if you want to. Tell him all your friends husbands wake them with breakfast in bed every morning....

SoupKitchen · 16/04/2008 22:26

Yanbu- I make DH lunch - if it consists of leftovers otherwise he makes his own sandwiches.

He is an adult who has always be capable and just because I am a sahm I have ore than enough to be doing first thing in the morning( he hates premade sandwiches btw

bran · 16/04/2008 22:27

Now that I think of it, in all my years at work I have never heard anyone discussing who makes their packed lunch. I expect if closely questioned 'everyone' would turn out to be one man.

SlartyBartFast · 16/04/2008 22:27

i always used to, luckily he starts too early now, so i don't

fishie · 16/04/2008 22:29

dh made my lunch this morning as i was a bit late. usually we make our own.

Original poster
pedilia · 16/04/2008 22:30

No I don't work, I am a SAHM with 3 dc's who are 7,3 and 1 and pg with number 4, we also have a 3 horses,2 cats and a dog of which I have the main responsibilty.

DH does work very hard and will help out when he gets in from work, I don't mind doing it sometimes but just don't want to be doing it all the time or be expected to do it.

i just have so much to do on a daily basis that the last thing I feel like doing in the evening is a packed lunch, especially as I have to make 2 in the morning for DS1 &2

OP posts:
2shoes · 16/04/2008 22:32

I am a SHAM and have NEVER made dh's packed lunch. no real reason. he has just always done his own.

gagarin · 16/04/2008 22:33

Tell him he can have a packed lunch the same size and quality as the ones you make for the kids....he'll soon go back to making his own!

WallOfSilence · 16/04/2008 22:34

No, YANBU.

We're married 10 years tomorrow & I have never made dh's lunch. He was always used to making his own when he lived at home, so now he still does.

And he makes dd's for school & mine if I want one for work too

He also cooks the dinner far more often than me.... he's more domesticated.

EllieG · 16/04/2008 22:34

Being a SAHM is a full-time role. You are not his personal servant. I repeat - he is an adult and can therefore make his own lunch. I am being a SAHM for a year with my LO and have firmly told DP that this is to look after the children, not him. He doesn't need looking after.

Thomcat · 16/04/2008 22:35

If it were me, what I wouldn't like would be the expectation that I'd do it. I'd happily make them now and then when it suited me. But I'd like it to be that he went to make them and ohh lo and behold I'd kindly done it for him again. That would be fine. But if he then came in, sat down, read paper, drank a few glasses of wine, went to bed and then got up and said 'oh where are my sandwiches' I'd want to ram a baugette were the sun never sets!

hippipotami · 16/04/2008 22:36

I do them all in the evening (one for dh and one for each of the dc for school), a bit like a factory production line. They all get the same filling, again like a factory production line.
The only thing that is different is the amount and type of extras they all take (fruit, yoghurt, drinks etc)

fishie · 16/04/2008 22:36

well pedilia if you are making two it may as well be three but it would have to be the same stuff. or does he leave before you make the others? he'd have to have a rather ancient one then.

cat64 · 16/04/2008 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

amytheearwaxbanisher · 16/04/2008 22:37

dh either makes his and if he isnt bothered he buys something