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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in not making Dh's packed lunch for him every day?

105 replies

pedilia · 16/04/2008 22:18

He will do it and doesn't ask me to but makes little comments that suggests he thinks I should be doing it, as in 'everyones wife at work makes them a packed lunch'

OP posts:
Psychomum5 · 16/04/2008 22:38

pedilia....are you in fact also married to my DH????

MY DH also says the exact same thing!!!!

I retort by saying that I make the three smaller kiddies and used to also do the elder girls until he suggested that as they were at secondary now that they should take some responsibility of their own and therefore make their own IYGWIM.

I now say that if he expects a 14yo and 12yo to do theirs then surely HE, at 38, is more than capable.

he is trying to stop moaning at me!!!

twentypence · 16/04/2008 22:40

Dh makes his, but doesn't make a sandwich for ds's lunch whilst he is at it.

However he is such a creature of habit that if I did manage this radical shift ds would get the same sandwich for the next 10 years.

So on balance I get everything out again.

fuzzywuzzy · 16/04/2008 22:48

Actually thinking about it, my boss (a man and married with kids), makes his own packed lunch, he also makes his daughters when she asks, I'm not sure if he makes his wifes I'll ask him tomorrow.

I used to make ex's but then I'd always be up, but in my family only my mum and I make (made) lunches for our husbands, my cousins dont and my sisters husband prefers to buy hot food.

btw my ex used to say things like this; But other people wives hoover the entire house form top to bottom every day, but other people wives make four course gourmet meals whilst taking care of five children, but other peope have sex every day ten times a night and all day on the weekends.......

catsmother · 16/04/2008 22:51

Get in a stock of Dairylea Lunchables or Pot Noodles to save him the "bother" ........ "problem" solved.

Psychomum5 · 16/04/2008 22:52

pmsl @ thecatsmother

could also add in some sausage rolls and frootshoots....!!!

Triggles · 16/04/2008 23:04

I do sometimes, but then sometimes he makes my lunches. It's pretty much 50/50 really. It seems a bit silly not to put together a second lunch when I'm already making mine. I'm not horribly bothered by it. Maybe because he never "expects" me to do it. And is always appreciative.

branflake81 · 17/04/2008 12:42

Well, I have to say we both work full time and I make his packed lunch. Every day. If I didn't he'd just buy his lunch and we can't really afford it. It's a faff but he does say thank you and doesn't take it for granted. If he did I would stop!

Broodybabywannabe · 17/04/2008 12:44

I do DPs lunch most of the time purely cos of the mess he makes trying to do it himself!!! but if i cant be bothered he'l just buy something, or take soup, i do it when i do mine so its no bother, however i dont have to do it, and neither should you

mum2oneloudbaby · 17/04/2008 13:00

funny this should come up because i made my dh lunch for the first time ever today (lived together 10 years). Thought I'd help out because he was dealing with a particularly nasty nappy .
However, have just been told sandwiches were not great so won't be doing that again.
YANBU he's an adult can sort himself out I assume you are probably busy with the dcs

sitdownpleasegeorge · 17/04/2008 13:00

Yeah Right !

Tell him that everyone else at mum and toddlers (or insert appropriate mothers meet up description) is gently woken up by their dh's bringing them a cup of tea in bed.

It cuts both ways.

Iklboo · 17/04/2008 13:02

Tell him every other woman's DH makes them have an orgasm

purpleduck · 17/04/2008 13:08

My dh loves it when I do his lunch. Very rarely happens. I do try to make extra dinner so he can have leftovers, but he packs it up etc.

A colleague of his offered to make him lunch a few times... I suspect he was feeling sorry for dh's sad efforts in the lunch department

seeker · 17/04/2008 13:15

I am a sahm and I make dc's packed lunches. I also make dp's on the days he needs one. It would seem a bit churlish not to. But I wouldn't like the hints! It would just not have occured to me not to. I like making him something nice when he's off doing something tedious with tedious people so that we can afford for me to stay at home with out lovely children.

bozza · 17/04/2008 13:16

I make DH's very infrequently. Most likely when DS has a packed lunch (so only odd days when it is a school trip or soccer school or whatever). He is usually pretty grateful when I do it. But I do work 3 days a week and he never makes mine. And I do make him a proper cooked dinner every evening even if I am eating out. So I think he has a reasonable deal on the food front.

OrmIrian · 17/04/2008 13:19

It depends. Not often these days as he leaves at 5.45am! But if I'm up before he goes to work, not going to work myself and I'm in a good mood, I will. I always make lots of soup and freeze it to so he can always help himself to that if he so chooses.

However if he once suggested (seriously) that I should be making it he would be removing his lunchbox from his a*se!

oiFoiF · 17/04/2008 13:20

i have never made dh's
I dont want to give him an excuse for having an affair
oh nooooo

Prufrock · 17/04/2008 13:26

I'm a SAHM, but my dh doesn't have packed lunches. He does have a smoothie (which I buy from the supermarket) and a muffin on the train into work. Mostly I make his muffins, but he is always very very appreciative and remembers to tahnk me when we speak during the day, and comments on the flavour. If he goes to the muffin tin and there aren't any left he doesn't even say anything, just buys one from Starbucks.

Jackstini · 17/04/2008 13:29

Make them all together as a family on the weekend and freeze.
Take 1 out per day - job done.

shrinkingsagpuss · 17/04/2008 13:30

YANBU! My DH makes his lunch - providing I make sure he has stuff to put in them.

Last week he threw a strop because I asked him to iron his own shirt before bed. He did it in the morning, so didn't have time to make lunch. He then announced that he would no longer be taking packed lunches to work.

I ignored him, ate his nice beef for my lunch.He then rang and said " i hope you've left some for my m=lunch tomorrow"!! you can imagine the response.

Oliveoil · 17/04/2008 13:31

I do all 4 packed lunches on the days that I work and 2 on the days I don't (for dh and dd1)

it is one of my jobs of an evening, along with hanging washing up and anything else thrilling

dh cooks dinner and cleans the kitchen up afterwards

if one of us can't be arsed doing one of our jobs, the other does it if they can be arsed

swings and roundabouts in this house all thrilling housework is shared out

Oblomov · 17/04/2008 13:37

I Often makes dh's and mine. he often makes his and mine. Depends who is up/got more time/feels like it. Not an issue.

ruddynorah · 17/04/2008 13:40

my dh says 'all' the other wives make their dh's packed lunches too. i do not of course, neither do i iron his shirts. he also notes that all these husbands turn in with a nutritious packed lunch including low fat yoghurt etc..they eat that by 11am, then all pop off to the chippy or greggs for their actual lunch. DO NOT DO IT.

bellavita · 17/04/2008 13:41

I do all three packed lunches - the evening before.

I cook dinner, DH cleans up (in a fashion) and unloads/reloads the dishwasher.

If I left it to DH he would probably forget to make his sandwiches and then spend loads of money on buying them and the stuff that is in the fridge goes to waste so it is just easier if I do it along with the DS's.

OrmIrian · 17/04/2008 13:45

I think that doing 3 for the DCs as well as my own is more than enough most days. I tried to get the children to do their own but the chaos that ensued was not worth the labour saving. Not to mention the arguments.

Beelliesebub · 17/04/2008 13:55

YANBU.
I have to admit I do make dh's pack up but for no other reason than I just do... because I want to!
Now if he were to say to me are you going to make my pack up cos all my mates wives make their pack up, I'd have to say on yer bike matey, best you have chips.... lol