I don't care what issues your kid has you still need to parent them

[Differentstarts]

I'm fuming just had a massive argument with my now ex friend because she won't parent her kid. I don't care if your kid is ND, NT or identifies as a tablecloth you still need to parent them. I was at my friends this afternoon with my kids 7 and 4 and her kids 9 and 5. Our eldest kids where sat together nicely watching a film and youngest 2 where playing. Her 5 year old suddenly decides she wants to watch telly and picks the remote control up and changes the channel. My friends response was to the eldest 2 just let her otherwise she will kick off you can watch the rest later. Her eldest just accepted this he's clearly use to it. However I'm not accepting that so I took the remote and put the film back on so with that screaming and tears
Her eldest was agreeing with his mum and saying it's OK I don't mind Which was also annoying me. Then my friend started having a go at me how iv upset her daughter and how the kids didn't even mind watching it later. I struggle with anger issues so at this point I'm losing my shit at her (I know I shouldn't have) and I got my kids and left. I'm still fuming. I know I should of just left straight away but come on what is wrong with people

Yabu. If the eldest 2 where happy to watch it later you should of gone along with it
Yanbu she needs to discipline her daughter

Firstly she started it secondly my kids have plenty of friends and I get on great with their parents as they actually parent their kids and their kids are spoilt little brats. It was my concern as it affected my kid

I have to agree. Also letting children as young as 6 month cry while ignoring them is likely to have negative impact on their development. At that age they need safety of knowledge that their parent is there for them and the parent needs to teach them how to self-regulate rather than ignoring them to teach them that crying won't get them what they want. Kinda hard to do when the parent doesn't know how to self-regulate themselves, though.
Seems like both sets of kids had some tough luck.

This is such crap.

Ds was master of tantrum at 2. He’s 30 now, kind, generous, loving. Not in the least demanding.

All you did is shut them down rather than helping them learn.

Yes at 2 not 5

Firstly she started it

Are you still in primary school?

She gets to parent her kids how she wants. If you think there is actual neglect going on (and nothing in your post would indicate that to me) then report it. If you just don’t like how she parents, don’t spend time with her.

YABVU to call any small child a brat.

You also need to work on your anger management, as whatever techniques you currently use don’t seem very effective.

You said kids that tantrum grow into difficult adults. You didn’t mention age.

Anyway Dd is ND. Million tantrums a day. Shes 18 now and lovely.

Lots of kids still struggle with their emotions at 5. Hell, so do a lot of adults. The OP being a fine example!

My youngest is nearly 5 and rest assured his tantrums are still high force, worse than my older 2 sons were 🤣😂 who's to say they stop at 2?
They're still learning at 5.

To be honest, it's a bit rich to say children need to regulate their emotions from 2 or they'll be brats (to the extent you claim that your kids didn't really have tantrums post 2 years old) when you go into such blind rages that you forget what you've said and done. As an adult. And parent. In front of children.

Don't you see the hypocrisy there?

You're expecting more emotional regulation from toddlers and primary ages children than you are from yourself.

Lucky she wasn’t assaulted????

She intervened in one child bullying several others by switching the program off that they we’re watching.

OP was invited to the house and that didn’t include conceding a free pass to her kids being bullied.

The other mum was wrong and should have stopped it herself but she didn’t and when OP intervened the daft mother had a go at her!!!

Of course this made OP angry.

Most of the posters here are so easy triggered into anger that they’re throwing angry insults at a complete stranger on a public platform and some of you are also talking about assaulting her.

WTF 😳

This is a prime example on how children are held to higher standards than adults. A very young ND child no less.

No she didn't parent the way you would.

But with 5 year olds especially ND you pick your battles.

The 5 year old has years to learn how to regulate and take turns.

Might be too late for OP....

You’d have physically kicked her out the door! So you’ve got violence issues but that’s ok.

Who’s the hypocrite here?

@graceinspace999

Of course this made OP angry.

It's one thing being angry - but surely that's the point you tell the kids it's time to leave, and walk away before your anger escalates. It's entirely another to lose your shit so badly you swear, shout and make threats and are in such a rage that you can't remember what you said.

Surely you can understand the difference?

Can you go any lower with the insults to this woman?

If you were as calm and considerate as you think you are you’d have some decency and apologise for saying something so nasty.

YANBU and I am so sick of people justifying their kids bratty behaviour because they can’t be arsed to parent and discipline their kids.

ND or NT you still parent. You don’t just let your kid get what they want because it’s easier. What exactly is that teaching them? I feel sorry for the other child.

You are the adult OP and you need to model normal adult behaviour for your children when there is a conflict however hard it is.

For arguments sake let's say the 5 y old girl is a spoilt little brat who actually needs firm boundaries (like all children). What you could have done is stood up for the elder children and CALMLY pleaded their case to your friend. If friend still wanted princess to have her way you could have CALMLY said that then you will have to leave with your children because you don't think it's fair to let one child's desire rule over all the others.

See. You could have made your point and kept your dignity and showed your children that you stood up for them in a normal civilised way without retorting to throw a tantrum like a 2 y old.

The op has said she can't remember what she said but it usually involves shouting/swearing/threatening if somebody did that in your home you ARE under threatening conditions 100% I'd defend myself in that situation

I'm not aware of any updates, but some parents allow their children to dominate the house. Personally, I have no tolerance for this type of parenting. However, since it's her house, I'll continue socializing and then move on from the situation.

I feel sorry for her, but I feel my re sorry for her kids. She needs to break the cycle, but all she's doing is revelling in her behaviour and arguing with everyone who disagrees.

So you’re so anxious to defend your own threatened aggression that now you’re assuming the OP was threatening her friend.

I think you’re part of a pile-on here which is one of the worst I’ve seen on Mumsnet.

@graceinspace999 the OP has been very open that she shouted/swore/threatened her friend and was in a rage so bad she can't remember what she said, and that this was done in front of the children. These are the OPs own words, not assumptions!

No, that’s not what she said. She said she couldn’t remember and then she guessed at what she might have said. This honesty gave the bullies ammunition and what a bunch of hypocrites they’ve proved themselves to be.

She has now been bullied and threatened by so many on this thread that I’ve lost count.

Even the charming super mum who weaponised the OPs lack of parents herself has failed to apologise for her nasty remark.

Bullying is a tad extreme. From what has been said I wouldn't say the 5 year old in question was bullying the rest of them. Majority of 5 year olds don't even know what bullying is fgs.
None of us are angry, or certainly from what I've seen nobody is. But from what OP has replied to and said, she hasn't helped herself.
If you think retaliating with a temper infront of children of any age not in your own home is ok, then you're wrong. She should of been the better person, collected her things and moved on.. simple as that.
She posted on here for opinions. People have given them. If she doesn't think she did anything wrong and she's right, as she has stated, then she didn't necessarily need to post on here in the first place.

There are literally no threats made. 🤦‍♀️

No you did when you decided to take it upon yourself to override her parenting in her home where you were a guest in some rediculous scene you are now ranting about on Mums net even though you are coming across emotionally unstable and aggressive and like social services needs to be involved to protect your children from the impact of your personality disorder 😕