To be so fucking angry. How many more women and children must die?

[Kianai]

I'd almost become numb to it, with all the news so far this year.

Murder after murder of women and their children. Noone ever seeming to link the common denominator. NAMALT.

This latest one today, I feel like something is beginning to snap inside me. Three babies and a young woman dead, because of a fucking man. Again. And again.

news.sky.com/story/police-launch-murder-investigation-after-woman-and-three-children-die-in-house-fire-in-bradford-13200678

In the eyes of some, yes.

I agree but also, as I mentioned previously, I don’t know why some VAWG capture hold media attention for so long and others barely do

Oh dear. If I were you I’d stop posting and reflect on why you’re an apologist for men who kill women. You might “think” that it’s very often a first offence but all the research shows that in the vast majority of cases there is a history of controlling or stalking behaviour towards previous partners. A PP posted an article about this further up the thread.

Which part of men being the primary perpetrators (by a country mile) did you miss?

You think these events should be ignored, and no root cause looked at, because 'bad stuff happens all the time'?

I’m really concerned that levels of violence in this country seem to be increasing especially against women and children.

I don’t know the reasons, I’m guessing it’s the lack of funding for mental health services, breakdown of community, both parents working, fewer police police, cost of living and so on. It isn’t every man though. Men are physically stronger but neither my husband nor son are violent, they’re decent people so I can’t get onboard with people demonising all men.

Because another bloke losing it and killing his family just gets a shrug - 'another one of them'. It's only when they start taking knives into the streets that people sit up.

Well said. It’s so depressing that this is an issue but it’s almost equally depressing that the response to a discussion about it is full of posters defending men, saying some women are equally bad and that NAMALT.

The response to NAMALT is BINAAM (but it’s nearly always a man) or IAAAM (it’s almost always a man).

I'm sure posters have already repsoned to you but it's not worse than it has been (the death rate of women at the hands of partners/ex partners has stayed constant for many years now) and mostly it's not die to mental illness. Sadly it is a cultural problem rooted in misogyny and toxic masculinity. Please don't bring mental illness into this when the stats show this is rarely the cause.

So sad that another woman and her children have died at the hands of another man. And I have no idea how we can stop this. Is it in their DNA , what is it that causes them to do this. What is wrong with them? How do we know which one of them will do it next? I am not actually sad, I'm furious.

I hope he dies. I know it's not "justice", but I prefer them dead. Dead is safe.

I mean those like Sarah Everard and Zara Aleena compared with other women that barely get a mention (I can’t name them for that very reason) e.g. a woman that was jogging along a canal in broad daylight randomly murdered.

I agree though, another rejected partner overcome with jealously or in financial difficulties and just “snapped” - always an excuse of this sought thrown in to garner empathy for the man.

I'm not saying nothing should be done.

Now what should be done.

Things could be done. Men are not going to stop attacking women. But a lot of things could be done to make places safer for women.

The other problem with getting anything done about whats happening, is that women never seem to come together as a united force to implement positive change is very hard

As women always seem to start turning on each other, And not supporting each other

I remember the last time there was an attack on a female. And we were talking about it on here.

And I said " I would like more female only places. Like female only train carriages, parks, female only hotels."

And I got ridiculed for saying that.

I've actually visited another country now where they did have a female only hotel and it was an absolutely lovely safe experience

It's horrible.
Happened a couple of years back in Nottingham.
The creature killed his neighbour and two daughters by setting the house alight.
Just what is the point?
Apart from being wicked, they will go to prison for afes?
Why do they want that for themselves?

I was thinking they should really teach girls about this in schools so that at least they are forewarned.

Instead of just sex education there should be information about relationships, consent, mutual respect, how to treat each other. Where to go for help.

There was a massive explosion a few years back of people opening up about sexism, abuse, and abuse inappropriate relationships in schools so maybe schools should be taking this stuff much more seriously.

Right so it's the in-fighting women that's the problem and we need to segregate ourselves to keep safe? It's all on us.

The problem is male violence - that's what needs to be addressed. Men are the issue here.

I haven’t seen a single post on here demonising ALL men. Yet you feel the need to defend men instead of condemning the men who are killing women. No one has said your husband or son are violent.

Male violence against women is NOT caused by more women working, fewer police officers or a cost of living crisis. Those things don’t make people murder.

It’s caused by misogyny, a culture which objectifies and dehumanises women, everyday sexism which normalises and reinforces the idea that women are lesser, which blames women for men’s actions and the male belief that women only have value in their relationship to men - which is seen on a spectrum from men who feel entitled to murder women once the relationship ends to the men who only care about violence against women when they think it might affect their wife, daughter or sister.

We jolly well should. Never mind mens' hurt feelings.

That's extremely naive.

Why would men stop attacking women?

Do the bigger animals in nature stop attacking the smaller weaker animals? No they don't.

The bigger stronger beings will always attack the smaller weaker beings. Because they can.

Other countries have female only spaces.

And they work very well.

I'm so fucking tired - I'm just tired - I joined an incest survivors group 40 years ago - to find support and support other women, I was involved in fund raising for women's refuges from roughly the same age, was involved with Rape Crisis from age 17 - for 10 years, I have been spat on and hit trying to escort women to Brook Advisory centres, I've been told, by a senior police officer - at the opening of the first rape suite in our borough (he stood in front of his page 3 calendar) that 'most women make it up' , I've marched to reclaim the night - after a woman was murdered walking home from work, and fund raised to buy a memorial stone to her, I've been hit, sexually assaulted (on a picket line!) and I have campaigned, and argued and stood up - and for what - when will it STOP?

This week my 15 year old was dumped by her BF or 6 months for 'disrespecting' him - her crime - he EX liked a Insta post - that was it! Bloody entitled little twat best avoid me - My middle daughter ( a lesbian) encountered her first real taste of male aggression 4 months ago at Uni when she tried to stop her mates BF getting in the house to continue his assault on her - she is 5ft 1" - he is a 6ft rugby player - he hurt her - she reported - was told 'it could damage his future' and he's still there - living in their accommodation.

My eldest is continually harassed at work (local Spar) by men old enough to be her dad but they 'still would if they where 10 years younger' (it's banter apparently) and last night 2 of them tried to follow her home and offered her £2 for a quicky hahahaha it's banter.

I'm 54 - I'm tired, I want to stop fucking fighting - I can't

FUCK MEN - all of them frankly - for every one who kills his wife there are 100's more who think it's okay to shout at women on the street, ignore when their mates call their female colleagues, ex's etc C*nts and bitches and say 'I'd fucking slap her if she behaved like that, men who call women sluts and whores because of their clothes of 'body count', who sulk if they don't get sex, do fuxk all in the home, turn a blind eye to the neighbour who hits his wife a bit, demand painful sex from people they should love - it goes on and on - it won't stop until they do

I'm tired

Noone ever seeming to link the common denominator.

It’s awful but widely known common denominator is male, usually partner

No, some people are just horrible, and some men can't handle it if they get rejected.
Just walk away and get on with your life.

It's naive to think that men will ever stop attacking and raping women.

They can and they will.

To put it in simplistic terms.

Would we put three rabbits in a cage with three lions? And expect the rabbits to be safe?

No , we would separate the rabbits from the lions as we would know that the rabbits would be attacked.

That is why we need more female only spaces.

Because we are a civilised society. We have laws, overriding principles of morality, social norms. That's what differentiates us from animals. We are supposed to PROGRESS.

Of course, there are innate differences between men and women but we can't just permit men to murder women because of testosterone! By the same logic, would you keep women barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen?

You are an apologist for violent men and therefore part of the problem.

what is it that causes them to do this. What is wrong with them? How do we know which one of them will do it next?

The root cause is misogyny and toxic masculinity. Domestic abuse is about power and control - abusers do what they need in order to maintain power over their victim. That's the reason why leaving is such a dangerous time for the victim, because the abuser is losing control.

Abuse follows a pattern, if the police keep track of reports about abusers and act quickly, they'd be able to stop it escalating. For example, one indicator of homicide is fixation; stalking and harassment.

I agree that education around male violence needs to be taught in schools, probably from late primary onwards. Obviously it is primarily our job as parents to discuss violence against women and girls and to educate our sons and daughters, but schools have a role to play too.

I read that the arrested man is not the father of the poor children but another male family member. It is incomprehensible and I can’t imagine how frightened they must have been.

I would join a march, how do we organise this?

There's always been murderers, but there's never been so many people murdered and stabbed as there are now.

Its practically every week.