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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so fucking angry. How many more women and children must die?

778 replies

Kianai · 21/08/2024 15:40

I'd almost become numb to it, with all the news so far this year.

Murder after murder of women and their children. Noone ever seeming to link the common denominator. NAMALT.

This latest one today, I feel like something is beginning to snap inside me. Three babies and a young woman dead, because of a fucking man. Again. And again.

news.sky.com/story/police-launch-murder-investigation-after-woman-and-three-children-die-in-house-fire-in-bradford-13200678

OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
Hateam · 21/08/2024 20:10

LizzieSiddal · 21/08/2024 20:08

The media need to stop calling these events “a domestic incident”. No it fucking isn’t. It’s a fucking murder and male violence.

Surely they can't call it a murder until there is a conviction of murder?

SweetBirdsong · 21/08/2024 20:11

FatOaf · 21/08/2024 20:06

And this will disappear from the news in a day or two. Unlike the disappearance of five obscenely wealthy people whose yacht sank, which has already been on the front pages for nearly a week.

You're probably right. I have to admit, I haven't shed a single tear about the people in the yacht incident. Can't bring myself to feel a shred of sorrow.

My heart goes out to this woman and her children though.

Alucard55 · 21/08/2024 20:16

JSMill · 21/08/2024 20:10

I don't understand why the sinking of a super yacht two days ago was the first item on the news instead of this tragedy? Also why is nobody out causing riots. Three children died at hands of man. Why doesn't that make people see red?

That's an excellent point. I wonder if the men who were protesting (rioting) because of the awful attack in Southport where 3 children died at the hands of a man will be out in force protesting against this.

Fairyliz · 21/08/2024 20:17

misscockerspaniel · 21/08/2024 17:12

Jess Phillips MP has been appointed as a minister, leading on safeguarding and violence against women & girls. She has her work cut out.

She certainly will have her work cut out; especially as most of the Labour Party don’t even know what a women is.

HelloMiss · 21/08/2024 20:18

What makes you think a crime like this will be 40% of sentence served?

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 21/08/2024 20:18

I Read that the man who caused this is related to a different family member and not the father of her kids.

HelloMiss · 21/08/2024 20:19

And it's alright saying 'build more prisons'

But where is the money coming from? And biggest issue.... extra staff!?

Hateam · 21/08/2024 20:19

SweetBirdsong · 21/08/2024 20:11

You're probably right. I have to admit, I haven't shed a single tear about the people in the yacht incident. Can't bring myself to feel a shred of sorrow.

My heart goes out to this woman and her children though.

6 people are confirmed dead from that sinking.

I feel sorrow for all of them.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 21/08/2024 20:20

I agree with @Hateam

Movinghouseatlast · 21/08/2024 20:26

I read an article on BBC news this week about the man who murdered the Epsom College Headteacher and her child. He clearly followed this pattern. He lied about his mental health issues to get a gun licence. Its just heartbreaking for women and children who suffer.

I grew up in a coercive control household. I wish there had been publicity about it in those days. I wanted to help my mum but didn't know how. He didn't physically kill her but emotionally she was dead.

rosalynd34 · 21/08/2024 20:27

Eastie77Returns · 21/08/2024 18:03

I know this will not guarantee she is not the victim of domestic abuse, but with each passing day I find myself thinking I’ll be relieved if DD is a Lesbian.

Edited

My DD has zero interest in men and honestly its a relief, I read about dating these days and it sounds horrific.

I am in a loving marriage but honestly find myself feeling so angry about men as a whole and so fed up that nothing looks like it will change. It makes me sad my Daughter is growing up in this mess.

EarthSight · 21/08/2024 20:30

user30 · 21/08/2024 17:02

The rules of misogyny explain it all quite well, I feel:

  1. Women are responsible for what men do.
  1. Women saying no to men is a hate crime.
  1. Women speaking for themselves are exclusionary and selfish.
  1. Women’s opinions are violence against men, thus male violence against women is justified.
  1. Women and Feminism must be useful to men or they are worthless.
  1. Women who go around being female AT men by menstruating and breastfeeding babies deserve punishment.
  1. Women should always be grateful to men for everything.
  1. Men are whatever men say they are and women are whatever men say they are.
  1. Men always know the “real reasons” for everything women do and say.
  1. The worst thing about male violence is that it makes men look bad.

  2. Whatever women suffer from, it is worse when it happens to men.

  3. Women’s ability to recognise male behaviour patterns is misandry.

  4. Angry women are crazy. Angry men have trouble expressing themselves.

  5. Women have all the rights they need: The right to remain silent.

  6. Men are the default human. Women are strange subhuman others.

  7. Everyone owns and controls women’s bodies except the women themselves.

This, and this is why there's men on the Left in particular who support abortion.

They don't support it mainly on the grounds of being worried about women and their mind & bodies. They support it because there's something in it for them, and they don't want to be prosecuted if they happen to want one.

ArabellaScott · 21/08/2024 20:32

Movinghouseatlast · 21/08/2024 20:26

I read an article on BBC news this week about the man who murdered the Epsom College Headteacher and her child. He clearly followed this pattern. He lied about his mental health issues to get a gun licence. Its just heartbreaking for women and children who suffer.

I grew up in a coercive control household. I wish there had been publicity about it in those days. I wanted to help my mum but didn't know how. He didn't physically kill her but emotionally she was dead.

Flowers for you and your mum.

VerityUnreasonble · 21/08/2024 20:33

I love my DH. He is a good man. Earlier, I posted on a thread about how I thought he'd put my life ahead of his to save me from a burning building.

He is still the person most likely to murder me.

misscockerspaniel · 21/08/2024 20:33

Omlettes · 21/08/2024 18:31

Becoming angry and cooperatively channeling it into action is the best thing that women can do.
Its about time.
We need another huge march, but one that is not coopted by cynical types as with BLM

We need an organised Mumsnet march. Women - actual women - marching to the gates of Downing Street.

ArabellaScott · 21/08/2024 20:33

misscockerspaniel · 21/08/2024 20:33

We need an organised Mumsnet march. Women - actual women - marching to the gates of Downing Street.

Do we need one big march or one in every city and town?

misscockerspaniel · 21/08/2024 20:34

One big march. Organised, with politicians from all parties leading it from the front.

Lifeomars · 21/08/2024 20:35

Whothefuckdoesthat · 21/08/2024 19:23

I’ve long thought that if women were harming and killing men and boys at the same rate men harm and kill women and girls, there’d be an absolute uproar. I suspect they’d have no problems with a curfew then. I suspect there would be calls for us to be under house arrest.

we would be tagged, we would not be allowed to work with any men or boys who might be considered vulnerable, we would be subjected to regular police checks and stop and search for weapons, we would have our online presence and activities monitored and we would be made to address our attitudes and behaviour via education and rehabilitation programmes .

EarthSight · 21/08/2024 20:37

FatOaf · 21/08/2024 20:06

And this will disappear from the news in a day or two. Unlike the disappearance of five obscenely wealthy people whose yacht sank, which has already been on the front pages for nearly a week.

This. Violence against women is just background wallpaper :(

EarthSight · 21/08/2024 20:38

misscockerspaniel · 21/08/2024 20:34

One big march. Organised, with politicians from all parties leading it from the front.

Julie Bindel would be a great lead for that.

Lifeomars · 21/08/2024 20:41

WooleyMunky · 21/08/2024 18:56

I agree, so much.
We are young and objectified and told to take it as a compliment.
We are older, and abused, and told to get on with it.
We protest against male police killing us, and male police assault us.
Fucking sick of it.

So true, when I was young I got what seemed like constant comments and general unpleasantness about my perceived attractiveness. As an older woman I was recently told by a total stranger in the street "go home, you are too old for sex" I mean ffs!!! can any woman imagine ever going up to any male, known or unknown and making such a foul and uncalled-for comment?

FOJN · 21/08/2024 20:42

I'm sorry to say that with so many women and children being murdered recently I missed this case from the weekend, a 19 year old woman stabbed to death by a man in a train station car park.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/article/2024/aug/19/man-charged-with-after-woman-stabbed-in-crawley-station-car-park

Lifeomars · 21/08/2024 20:44

seasaltandsand · 21/08/2024 19:36

We really don't have the protection that we deserve or even a legal system that manages these men.

From a personal perspective I was attacked violently, the police attended, the man fled the scene throwing his weapon away as he ran but got picked up by the police.

This man received a suspended sentence and restraining order. Suspended from work but now back working as an NHS doctor. A mockery of the legal system and regulatory body, and also deeply concerning when somebody capable of violent crime is charged with caring for the sick and vulnerable.

I am so very sorry that you experienced this terrible attack and my heart goes out to you.Deeply shocking that he was not appropriately dealt with, his take away from this will be that he can basically do as he pleases. I hope you are doing as well as can be expected