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Original poster

To be so fucking angry. How many more women and children must die?

778 replies

Kianai · 21/08/2024 15:40

I'd almost become numb to it, with all the news so far this year.

Murder after murder of women and their children. Noone ever seeming to link the common denominator. NAMALT.

This latest one today, I feel like something is beginning to snap inside me. Three babies and a young woman dead, because of a fucking man. Again. And again.

news.sky.com/story/police-launch-murder-investigation-after-woman-and-three-children-die-in-house-fire-in-bradford-13200678

OP posts:
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21
MyNDfamily · 22/08/2024 20:12

user30 · 21/08/2024 17:02

The rules of misogyny explain it all quite well, I feel:

  1. Women are responsible for what men do.
  1. Women saying no to men is a hate crime.
  1. Women speaking for themselves are exclusionary and selfish.
  1. Women’s opinions are violence against men, thus male violence against women is justified.
  1. Women and Feminism must be useful to men or they are worthless.
  1. Women who go around being female AT men by menstruating and breastfeeding babies deserve punishment.
  1. Women should always be grateful to men for everything.
  1. Men are whatever men say they are and women are whatever men say they are.
  1. Men always know the “real reasons” for everything women do and say.

  1. The worst thing about male violence is that it makes men look bad.

  2. Whatever women suffer from, it is worse when it happens to men.

  3. Women’s ability to recognise male behaviour patterns is misandry.

  4. Angry women are crazy. Angry men have trouble expressing themselves.

  5. Women have all the rights they need: The right to remain silent.

  6. Men are the default human. Women are strange subhuman others.

  7. Everyone owns and controls women’s bodies except the women themselves.

I notice a lot of this can be applied to how cross dressers treat women. They really are so misogynistic. They claim they are women and we are not. A few weeks back one told me they are more of a woman than me, because they had on a wig and high heels and I'm a middle aged mother of 4 who's body has been changed my breastfeeding my kids including a set of twins, that makes me less of a woman apparently.

They tell us what they are and what we are! Women who support them are foolish, we aren't even equal with men, we are killed by them! why should we be giving up our rights?

Not all men, but always a man. I'm becoming a man hater myself.

DearestGentleReader · 22/08/2024 20:19

My friend was murdered last year by her fiancé. She was 7 months pregnant. It was a very high profile story, you will have seen her in the news.
The scariest thing about it, which I don't think I'll ever make my peace with, is that none of us saw it coming. Even in hindsight, none of her closest friends or family had any inkling that he was capable of this. I have photos of him playing with my children a few weeks before it happened, one of the nicest guys in the world in my eyes. You never really know anyone, or their relationships behind closed doors.
I still don't always quite believe I'll never see her again.

MyNDfamily · 22/08/2024 20:22

SeaStory · 22/08/2024 08:26

But I do feel that some women become so focused on it that they lose perspective. I don't know anyone that's been murdered and it's quite rare that I read about it because I don't go out my way looking for it.

I don’t personally know any woman murdered by a man.
I do know many who live/have lived in abusive relationships, whether they can acknowledge it or not.
Pretty much every woman I know (and this is backed up by research) has been assaulted or harassed in some way by a man. Many of these women live in denial and continue to defend man.
I know many who see abusive men as the norm and thus defend it, because that’s all they’ve known.
Murder itself is thankfully rare, but abuse and women putting up with it are frighteningly common.

I've known 3, two were when I was a child/teen. I've known 1 as an adult. It wasn't someone I knew well and acquaintance if you like, I read about it in our local news paper. The ones in the past were friends of my parents, one was actually a high profile case at the time. It's probably not normal to personally know of 3. You can't judge things like this by personal experience.

Bodeganights · 22/08/2024 20:31

Beyondcomprehension · 21/08/2024 22:20

It’s vital to look at the patterns in these cases. Most family annihilators strike in August.
I wonder if there’s a way to support women in a different way over the Summer holidays, when they are more likely to be isolated from support?

I did not know this. Very interesting. I'll have a look later but assuming 5/6 weeks of the school summer holidays has something to do with this, or the annual family holidays.

Scammersarescum · 22/08/2024 20:52

This is why the government's response to the riots has made me furious.

It just shows when they want to. they can dispense justice quickly and effectively.

When it comes to women getting abused and murdered, they don't give a fuck.

BeyondOlympicLevelProcrastinator · 22/08/2024 21:07

DearestGentleReader · 22/08/2024 20:19

My friend was murdered last year by her fiancé. She was 7 months pregnant. It was a very high profile story, you will have seen her in the news.
The scariest thing about it, which I don't think I'll ever make my peace with, is that none of us saw it coming. Even in hindsight, none of her closest friends or family had any inkling that he was capable of this. I have photos of him playing with my children a few weeks before it happened, one of the nicest guys in the world in my eyes. You never really know anyone, or their relationships behind closed doors.
I still don't always quite believe I'll never see her again.

I'm so sorry Flowers
It's an anniversary of one of my friends being murdered today - a fair few years ago now. Ime it's never any less surreal that she was here and - as far as anyone knew - happy one minute, and then brutally murdered by someone who claimed to love her.

DontBiteTheCat · 22/08/2024 21:33

DearestGentleReader · 22/08/2024 20:19

My friend was murdered last year by her fiancé. She was 7 months pregnant. It was a very high profile story, you will have seen her in the news.
The scariest thing about it, which I don't think I'll ever make my peace with, is that none of us saw it coming. Even in hindsight, none of her closest friends or family had any inkling that he was capable of this. I have photos of him playing with my children a few weeks before it happened, one of the nicest guys in the world in my eyes. You never really know anyone, or their relationships behind closed doors.
I still don't always quite believe I'll never see her again.

I am so sorry x

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 22/08/2024 21:45

NopeImnotdoingthat · 21/08/2024 18:00

I watched a workman at a nearby house yesterday launch a tonne of abuse at a female bus driver who tooted to get him to move his van because she couldn't get past. He spewed horrible stuff and was really aggressive, including calling her a stupid bitch. He was so loud I could hear every word despite being inside.

After she got through, he moved the van back to the original position. About 10 mins later a lorry had the same problem. Male driver tooted the horn, back workman appears, waves at him and shouts "Sorry mate!" Moves it without a peep.

Total misogyny. Arsehole.

Edited

Or perhaps he’s got needle dick insecurities and is feeling a tad pissed off about it and he’s too much a 💩 🏠 to insult a bloke.

eyupcocker · 22/08/2024 22:22

My brother lives local to this family. It wasn’t her partner. It was a visiting friends ex-partner 😠

SparklyJadeFawn · 22/08/2024 22:37

One of my schoolfriends was murdered by a man when she was a teen.

Rip

dontcryformeargentina · 22/08/2024 22:44

Scammersarescum · 22/08/2024 20:52

This is why the government's response to the riots has made me furious.

It just shows when they want to. they can dispense justice quickly and effectively.

When it comes to women getting abused and murdered, they don't give a fuck.

This... I'm so disillusioned

Panjandrum123 · 22/08/2024 23:26

There’s a series on BBC Radio Ulster, part of their Assume Nothing strand. It’s called Femicide: Eight Steps to Stop a Murder

Fascinating and depressing. Every police officer should be made to listen to this and to understand the warning signs and triggers.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001xkv0
And then do something about it. Not every man but almost always a man.

I’m still really pissed off with the way the Met handled the Sarah Everard vigil. So ill judged and insensitive. Yet days later, when Leicester Square was awash with male football fans trashing the place and littering, the Met stood by and did nothing because they didn’t want their officers to get hurt. Easier to pick on the soft target the women presented.

My heartfelt condolences to those on here who have lost people to domestic violence.💐

BBC Radio Ulster - Assume Nothing, Femicide: Eight Steps to Stop a Murder

Series examining eight real-life cases to investigate why women continue to be murdered.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001xkv0

Mamanyt · 22/08/2024 23:32

IttyBittyTittyCommittee · 21/08/2024 16:18

Bloody hell!!
Is this genuinely “a phrase” for this?? Never heard that before… how awful that there is now a name for this vile behaviour.
I am also in agreement with those who say that every time they hear of another murder / rape / assault immediately think ‘it’s the husband or partner’ Because it usually is..😥

Show quote history

The actual percentage of women in the USA (where I am) by domestic partners is 34%. While that number is lower than some think, given all the reasons they are killed (robberies, muggings, etc), 34% is the overwhelmingly highest single reason. And I bet it is rising.

Yes, "family annihilator" is absolutely the term. It is used by our FBI.

Noideawhatimdoing40 · 22/08/2024 23:38

It’s bloody terrifying and angers me so much. I was genuinely scared by ex was going to kill me during the early
stage of our break up as things were not going his way and he HATED me. I never
thought he’d harm our children but I was convinced he might try and kill me. He died
a few years ago and although it’s been hard for my children I can sleep more
soundly. Horrible but true.

chaosmaker · 22/08/2024 23:57

Is another part of it the fact that we don't go by 'it takes a village to raise a child' and that people drive much more now. There are no eyes on the streets in the same ways they were just a few decades ago? Despite us being the most watched by CCTV nation in the world.

crumblingschools · 23/08/2024 00:08

The poor dad of the children losing them and his fiancé. It wasn’t an ex who killed them, he was an ex of someone else.

PassingStranger · 23/08/2024 01:05

crumblingschools · 23/08/2024 00:08

The poor dad of the children losing them and his fiancé. It wasn’t an ex who killed them, he was an ex of someone else.

How depressing though. He the kids father wasn't that nice either.

He had stolen her phone and tried to strangle her a few weeks ago the police were called.

What makes someone set a house alight and kill people.

Alot of it is people cannot control their temper, they are so aggressive all the time. Was it worth it, now looking at being locked up for a long time.

Sadcat22 · 23/08/2024 01:21

I'm fed up with woman being told how to stay safe and then the blame placed on them if anything were to happen.
Men are the problem.People will say not all men are like that and that’s true, but what are these good men doing about this? We could argue it’s not up to them to sort this out but why should woman have to constantly be the ones to fight and die over men issues ,while all these good men do nothing.

picklepotage · 23/08/2024 02:41

i thought you were talking about Palestine for a moment and I was going to wholeheartedly agree.
I agree with you too on this topic, however I’m a bit consumed by the footage of thousands of slain Palestinian children.

Rottweilermummy · 23/08/2024 07:37

It's so shocking and so sad all these cases, There is a register you have the right to look at before living with someone if you have children to make sure the man has not had previous convictions of a violent or sexusl nature ( think it's Sarah's law) The worst cases are these poor young girls being grabbed, held and stabbed in the street.
Re the Stabbing in Stockport, all protests were then against the wrong people immigrants not men or knife crime, The women who were locked up were aiming their anger at the wrong people immigrants and the poor police.
Knife crime is getting worse than America with guns, because knives are so easily accessible because they are an essential kitchen tool.there has to be a law, anyone found with a knife on the street should be automatically locked up,as no one needs to be carrying a knife, unfortunately the people getting stabbed in their homes or killed by fire is something less easy to control. Can't check up on everyone like the ex boyfriend of the News Reporters Daughter and you never know when a man is going to turn could appear to be the most rational normal person, then the couple split up,

Twinklefloss · 23/08/2024 07:44

There’s more details in the papers this morning. The fiancée of the deceased mum (known as B, apparently), who was also the father of the deceased children, was not involved. Because he was on remand for attempted strangulation and assault of B. I couldn’t believe it (yet I can). What a terrible situation.

crumblingschools · 23/08/2024 09:10

Not feeling so sorry for him now.

It’s a pity there aren’t peaceful protests by men to highlight their disgust at what other men do and violence against women and children

Bodeganights · 23/08/2024 10:02

WotsYourExcuse · 21/08/2024 23:08

Bit harsh!

But I do feel that some women become so focused on it that they lose perspective. I don't know anyone that's been murdered and it's quite rare that I read about it because I don't go out my way looking for it.

You'd probably find ten stories about men doing good things for every bad one - not that this makes the bad stories any less horrific. You generally find what you look for in most cases.

I'll probs get flamed for this but I actually think it's unhealthy living your life in fear of being murdered, and it's mostly unnecessary.

Show quote history

Want to tell my mom living in fear was unnecessary? We spent years walking on eggshells trying to not set him off. Of course now I know it made no difference. But back then, it was the only thing we had. I spent almost as many years after, still walking on eggshells. To a smaller extent still do. Any unexpected loud crash has me cowering in fear. I'm nearly 60 years old. I shouldnt have to live like that.

The absolute fear you live with when it's your potential family annihilator is insane. I was talking not long ago about this whole experience and discovered, we both had come to the same conclusion, he was upping his game in order to kill us both. And that finally gave my mom the courage to leave. I could very easily be one of the statistics we are talking about right now on this thread.

No one ever believes me when I (rarely talk about it) mention that I knew he was going to kill me, within days. Of course I can never prove it now. But he never said a word, and I knew I was days away from death. That changes a person. Living with that stress is epochal.

sawdustformypony · 23/08/2024 10:06

there has to be a law, anyone found with a knife on the street should be automatically locked up,as no one needs to be carrying a knife, unfortunately the people getting stabbed in their homes or killed by fire is something less easy to control.

Statute doesn't tend to stipulate sentences. The imposition of such is left to Judges to determine based on the facts of a case. But they are expected to have heed to sentencing guidelines. The sentencing guidelines here are that anyone guilty of this offence (except those just over the reasonable excuse threshold) will get at least a 6 months custodial sentence.

Noononoo · 23/08/2024 10:34

What measures would work to protect women and children?
make it a terrorist offence.
when the dreadful stabbings and murders took place at the Taylor Swift dance class recently which sparked off horror and riots it was reported that it was children not girls who were the victims when we knew it was girls. Society must own up and see the sexism let alone the misogyny that has infected the young largely through internet porn: Where sex is equated with cruelty and sadism. These acts anlways existed for a few perverts now it’s mainstream. No wonder young girls want to remove their breasts and become desexualised. It’s not cool, it’s cruel neglect by society turning a blind eye to protect them.