Husband threw cat after scratch

[Friarclose]

Tonight while trying to hold her still for a flea treatment, our cat severely scratched DH, drawing blood. DHs immediate kneejerk reaction was to throw the cat to the floor, hard. She missed the corner of a wooden table by about 4 inches.

DH is fuming that my only reaction was to scream at him for throwing her and not caring that he was bleeding. I know he was hurt but to throw her like that???

AIBU? was it just a reaction to being hurt or would other people put the cat down carefully regardless of being hurt? I'm really upset 😡

Jackson Galaxy has taken some real cat beatings and never once retaliated and that's exactly why he has helped so many cats to become calmer, less afraid and less stressed.

No, but I think it would be hard work to pull your hands back then throw a cat downwards whilst it’s scratching the fuck out of you. It doesn’t make sense when you think about it. Provided this man is usually a normal human being I think we can probably give this bleeding man a break

Nasty spiteful human 'v' cat not liking flea treatment

He has shown his true colours

as there is a huge difference between dropping the cat out of a sudden reflex
to choosing to throw a cat across the room

Tbh this sounds like a reasonable reflexive reaction to me, and I like cats a lot. A bit wet of your DH to be complaining you aren't paying his scratch enough attention though, and a bit melodramatic of you to "scream at him". Sounds like a high drama household. Next time just wrap the cat up in a towel before you try to administer pills or trim claws. Surprised you even need to pick a cat up for flea treatment tbh.

It shouldn't have been that much of a shock though. He was holding the cat still for flea treatment. I would be prepared to be scratched in that case so it wouldn't be that much of a shock.

I mean, cat scratches can really hurt even if you know they're coming.

All of mine have scratched me on occasion and it can be bloody painful. If something hurts me my instinct is to shake it off. Combine that with a panicked cat flailing around to escape and I can easily see this happening.

I am not a fan of cats but as a teen my friends cat attacked me out of no where (probably why I am not a fan) but I just moved myself away. I definitely didn’t throw the cat or hurt it. I was completely in shock and unexpected but still didn’t throw or push the cat.

My toddler has cut me before and caused me to bleed and has accidentally punched me but I definitely wouldn’t throw him to the floor.

Just to add another possibility here, I have had cats struggle in my arms then push off me with their back legs, giving me good boot in the process. That could look very like being thrown. It depends how he was holding the cat.

I think the fact he was holding her for flea treatment makes it worse as you'd be on guard for the strong possibility you might be scratched in such a situation. Horrible that he threw her.

I actually think the flea treatment thing makes it even more likely that the cat panicked and lashed out, scratched him and kicked him trying to escape. Mine have all done similar over the years - and yes, to an observer, it might look like they were being thrown.

But in reality it was a combination of me trying to avoid even more of a mauling, and them kicking/flailing to try and escape.

I now "get them" when they're asleep to try and prevent it.

The people saying leave him. People would really detonate their children’s lives over this 🤯

It's MN
People get told to LTB over more minor things than this

So she didn’t land well? Ie on her feet?

Completely agree

On purpose or in anger ? No.

The get it away from you or instinct as an immediate reaction to being hurt? Yes.

It fucking happens, and if OP's husband was the abusive prick , animal hater , everyone is trying to portray him he would've done similar , or worse in the 10 years they had her.

Its not an instinctive knee jerk reaction, is it? Otherwise there would be a lot of babies and toddlers thrown instinctively when they bit, scratched, pulled our hair. My nephew cut my lip and gave me a loose tooth, head butting me as a baby. He remained in my arms. Your H threw the cat in anger not by instinct. I'd be very upset if he were my H.

Babies and toddlers don't scratch like a cat ffs. What waffle.

You're comparing apples and oranges.

Children are much easier to keep hold of, for starters, but they're also not as dangerous as a cat. A full on cat attack could very easily land you in hospital.

I'm commenting on the idea that throwing something away from you that has caused sudden unexpected pain and injury is instinctive and therefore unthinking.
Your rationalisation actually contradicts that, as either it was knee jerk and unconscious or he thought to himself this car could land me in hospital if I don't throw if forcefully to the ground. Can't be both ways.

Of course it can be both ways - because we have different instincts which kick in in different situations

Most people are well aware that a small child having a tantrum needs to be held firmly, whereas if you do the same to an angry, frightened cat, you could wind up being scratched to ribbons in a matter of seconds, and potentially bitten/with puncture wounds. The same is in no way true of a toddler.

If I was being scratched by a cat I would let go as fast as possible to let them escape. If it was a child, I would hold them firmly to stop them from hurting themselves or running away. Two totally different scenarios.

Don't be ridiculous. Toddlers can hurt badly. I also went on to explain what a head butt from my baby nephew did. Can you read at all, or are your capabilities limited to making rude remarks to people addressing the OP, not you?

I didn't throw DD when she bit my lip and jaw locked into it(wouldn't have helped), but I did smack her bottom. Only time in 12 years and I didn't even think about it. I tried to move her away, she clung on with her teeth, lots of pain, I panicked and I smacked her bum.

It wasn't a "if I do this, she will do that " moment, just a "Fuuuuuck!".

Anyone who’s owned a cat knows to expect the very likely chance it will resist to being given a flea treatment and that the likelihood it will express this through scratching is high (after 10 years I’d think he’d know the cat’s behaviour well). Throwing an animal is never acceptable, ever. Poor cat

My two year old once bit me on the tricep. It was hard enough to draw blood. I instinctively shouted 'OWWWW' and pushed him away across the sofa. I'm certainly not advocating pushing toddlers, but it really hurt and I reacted instinctively. He was clearly shocked by my reaction, and I felt pretty shitty about losing my cool and lashing out, but he wasn't actually hurt/injured.

Sometimes people react poorly when subjected to extreme and sudden pain.