Husband threw cat after scratch

[Friarclose]

Tonight while trying to hold her still for a flea treatment, our cat severely scratched DH, drawing blood. DHs immediate kneejerk reaction was to throw the cat to the floor, hard. She missed the corner of a wooden table by about 4 inches.

DH is fuming that my only reaction was to scream at him for throwing her and not caring that he was bleeding. I know he was hurt but to throw her like that???

AIBU? was it just a reaction to being hurt or would other people put the cat down carefully regardless of being hurt? I'm really upset 😡

My cat is massive and has great fun treating me like prey. I'm regularly minding my own business only to find myself pounced on with some teeth or claws sinking into me and I have never hurt the little darling in response. I've called him a few names but I would never throw him to the ground.

Throwing the cat is not ok no, what a horrible and pathetic man.

He is showing his true character there, dropping the cat would have been fine, an instinctive response, throwing the cat forcefully is horrible and unacceptable.

No excuse for throwing the cat . Throwing is totally different to dropping . As a teen I was bitten by my gerbil . Gerbils clamp down and it is hard for them to let go unless their top and bottom teeth meet . I remember being extra careful not to instinctively wave my hand about or grab him hard incase he got hurt .

Dropping her instinctively is one thing but to forcefully throw her is absolutely unacceptable. If a partner did that to my cat they'd be leaving. Not only is causing an animal suffering absolutely unforgivable, many men who go on to be violent towards women and children will harm animals first. It's a huge red flag. I hope Kitty is okay, and you too. I can only imagine how upsetting that must have been.

Depends on a person.
Some people pick fight rather than flight when they deal with pain and stress.
It's normal.

A very mixed bag of responses it seems. I'm not sure what to think. DH is usually very gentle and he absolutely dotes on our dog. I think it's because if she'd hit that table she could have been seriously hurt. She's 10 so not a spring chicken.

Oh no, that’s cruel. I have a cat that scratched me viciously recently (in fear). No reason to treat her cruelly. She was afraid.

I wouldn’t be putting a cat that badly scratched me down gently. I would probably throw it away from my body outwards (not downwards with force towards the floor and absolutely would never throw it at a wall or other object). I’d be confident my cat could land without hurting herself. She sometimes likes to be thrown for fun.

I don’t think you can compare throwing a cat to throwing a hamster or guinea pig. Cats are fine with falls. They are built to land without hurting themselves.

Is she his cat, yours or yours together op?

Did he throw her? Or kind of fling her off when he was hurt?

A fling I'd let go.

A proper deliberate throw would be different. However I doubt there was time for him to really think.

Maybe if you disciplined your massive cat it would not attack you 🤷🏼‍♀️

I agree with you but give it twenty minutes and he will be a serial killer and she needs to leave him immediately. You will see the words "concerning" and "true colours" pop up quite a lot as if everyone would be absolutely fine being scratched by a contained cat. And no I'm not saying that throwing a cat to the ground is acceptable because it's not but I can see it happening in this situation because it fucking hurts

The darn thing scratched him and clearly hurt him!

I hate cats -

If something severely scratched me I'd probably throw it too. It's not an unreasonable reaction, and being shouted at by my partner would not impress me. He had an I juts and a knee jerk reaction- he didn't pick it up and chuck it for fun.

Cat or dog OP?

Little glimpse into what he's capable of OP. I'd LTB.

Well done op for having the perfect response to being severely scratched. If it happens to you, good to know that you will be perfect in your reaction. Im with your dh here.

This 100%

So you know him to be otherwise gentle and this is out of character? You really couldn't think why he would otherwise react like this? I think you owe him an apology

The amount of you that are justifying this is actually quite scary. You don’t throw an animal hard on the floor because it has scratched you! You put it down on the floor or a table. If that cat had hit the table and been seriously injured would you all still be justifying that it’s ok?!?

I agree with that. Dropping is one thing - throwing is another.

@Friarclose

what was his reaction immediately after? What has he said about it?

Violently hurling a creature is unacceptable.

Believe this or not MNers, but we had a similar reaction from a vet! Cat not only thrown to the ground but grabbed by the scruff first and swung round. He then put huge leather gauntlets on before proceeding! Needless to say we didn't see him again!