Husband threw cat after scratch

[Friarclose]

Tonight while trying to hold her still for a flea treatment, our cat severely scratched DH, drawing blood. DHs immediate kneejerk reaction was to throw the cat to the floor, hard. She missed the corner of a wooden table by about 4 inches.

DH is fuming that my only reaction was to scream at him for throwing her and not caring that he was bleeding. I know he was hurt but to throw her like that???

AIBU? was it just a reaction to being hurt or would other people put the cat down carefully regardless of being hurt? I'm really upset 😡

But that's an attack by the dog, the cat was just fighting to get away.

Would you slam a small dog forcefully to the floor if it scratched you whilst trying to get away from you?

Totally disagree with people saying this is a knee jerk reaction to pain. It really isn’t. He was far too harsh on your cat. Could have really injured her.

Awful. I'd never be able to look at him the same way again. Poor cat

But was it a "pull back and launch it across the room" throw or a "get this away from me" toss?

I've just barely caught myself from throwing hot drinks across the room when I've picked up a mug that was too hot. My body's reaction isn't just "put this back down" but "get this thing that hurt me AWAY from me"

It does sound like a natural reaction to the pain (as much as the cat scratching him was acting on instinct) and not a deliberate attempt to be abusive.

i mean I’d like to think I wouldn’t... but I do think in the absolute heat of the moment it’s difficult sometimes to make a good judgement. I’d do whatever it took, in that moment, to stop the Yorkshire terrier biting my child. I’d probably shake off a scratching cat and in that split second not particularly care where it landed. I might reflect on the incident afterwards and regret my reaction and think about what I might have done differently, but there in the moment I think you just react before you think sometimes.

Yes, to be honest OP you’re the only one who saw what happened so trust your gut. The rest of us weren’t there to know whether he was acting out of line or not - written down it could come across as a grey area judging by the mixed responses. ultimately if he makes you feel uncomfortable and you can’t see a future with him, that’s fine and you’re not being unreasonable for that.

He was holding the cat
He didn't pick her up to throw her

Oh and all this "a grown man shouldn't react to pain" BS is toxic masculinity

I love cats, but our last one could be quite vicious. I think this sounds a bit like a mountain out of a molehill, the cat got angry and scratched and he automatically flung it off him. Both will be fine. Feliway is good for helping cats relax before doing things like flea treatments etc.
Also, a relative of mine once nearly died from 'Cat Scratch Fever', which sounds made up but is a genuinely nasty illness, so keep an eye out for that on dh.

It's a reflex. I threw my hamster across his cage when he bit me. Didn't mean to, the reflex was to jerk back and shake him off. Felt awful for it. He was fine, had a soft landing.

I'd never hurt him, I dote on the bitey little bastard. It was an accident.

Cat biting and clawing you is absolutelly not a part of owning a cat.
I grew up with animals and none of the cats ever did this nonsense past 7 months at worst.
You can google cat training, surelly you will find method that works for you.

On seeing the title and avoiding the post for a bit - huge cat lover, I was prepared to put a LTB reply - but if the cat was scratching and distressed, was she also struggling to get down?

This

This thread is very interesting. Differing views. I don't think what Dh dud sounds bad at all, totally reasonable.

These threads are always fascinating - and always bring a few people who really hate the concept of pets. I know there is animal cruelty in our society, people of kick and throw family pets, people who move house and just leave them; people who dump them in the countryside out on cardboard boxes.

so we should be surprised that a) this man threw an elderly cat to the floor and b) people think that is completely reasonable.

my fiend is a vet and he said he has considered quitting because of the abuse and neglect he sees from seeming ordinary people. Cats in particular really suffer - as this thread has demonstrated some people really hate them.

Your cat had an over reaction.
I think you are over reacting a bit too, being honest.
4 inches is quite a distance from a table.
You cannot really throw a cat towards the floor if you try, as they have such great reflexes, particulay when adrenaline is pumping on their system.
Highly unlikely she will get hurt.
Your husband reacted in pain and anger. Anger being the problem here. But he is not nasty to animals, so I do not think this is a red flag.
To be honest, he has reasons to be angry. You have owned this cat for years, since it was a kitten, presumably you have been putting the flea treatment on it for eons now. It is only a little drop of fluid at the back of the neck. Not painful or anything like that. Your cat should really be chilled about this by now. But she is protesting by being aggressive towards your husband. Which it is not acceptable, really.
You are doing a few things wrong.
You should have the cat on the floor. You can show dominance over her by pulling at the skin behind the neck. I know it is exactly where you need to apply the treatment. But you can just pull before the treatment. Then grab around the area you need to put the treatment on and be quick. Two people better than one. This will not hurt your cat. No need to pull tight. Just so she can feel it, be assertive. Show no hesitation.
You should work as a team and support each other. If the cat gets the idea it can get away with scratching one of you, it will only get worst.
You do seriously need to show dominance over her when it comes to medical treatment or grooming. Otherwise, not even the vet will do it. Some cats can get well out of control. I have one that hisses, just that and I already have issues with vet treatments at times. So imagine with bad scratching!

He’d be gone. Fuck that. Ive been scratched on a daily basis. I do not throw an animal.

There is a difference between dropping and throwing an animal.

I’ve been scratched by cats many times and I haven’t lost control. There is a big difference between dropping the cat and throwing it. It is an aggressive reaction and implies poor impulse control. Good that he is at least contrite.

So throw the owner across a room, poison the owner, kick the owner, don’t take it out on the animal?

it’s frightening how much emotion this generates - the hatred and the violence is totally misdirected. But i suppose it’s easy to hurt a small creature.

Poor little cat. I would have lost it. We’ve got one cat that cuts you to ribbons when you try to medicate her. She’s not trying to hurt you, just trying to get away and using you as traction. It’s very scary for them being medicated, they generally don’t understand what’s happening. I think the mixed responses are possibly because people were not clear initially whether it was a drop or a throw. Sorry you are going through this, it must be very upsetting. I hope your cat is ok today. X

Did she land on her feet?

I love my cats, their claws hurt, but I'd never throw them. I guess it's a fine line between instinctively dropping and trying to get the 'threat' as far from you as possible.

If you're absolutely certain he threw her then of course that's not okay.

But cats can be rather dramatic imo and I've been scratched a few times. I'll push them or let them go and they kind of fling themselves backwards to escape, making it look like they've been pushed when they haven't been.

One of mine has to be wrapped in a towel for any kind of flea treatment and when you let him go he starts flinging himself around like he thinks he's Mike Tyson 😂