Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To suggest a male curfew one night a week

786 replies

twojumps · 19/08/2024 17:41

when women can walk free in the streets without fear?

Yes, violence still happens in homes and behind closed doors but what a powerful message it would send.

I'd say every night but let's start with one.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
FiddlyDiddlyDee · 19/08/2024 21:41

twojumps · 19/08/2024 21:35

I've just genuinely had enough the non stop violence. I'm sick of it. Maybe it is a wacky suggestion but we need some new ideas.

Something has to change!!!

Well I'm stick of people getting cancer too. I'm not going to come up with ideas how to cure it am I.

Not entirely sure how mumsnet posters are going to suddenly find a way to eradicate something which has been around since the first man on this planet came into existence by posting on a forum.

Even worse the suggestion that it can be eradicated by Steve who works in accounts getting together with his chums to put a stop to it.

Alucard55 · 19/08/2024 21:41

twojumps · 19/08/2024 21:35

I've just genuinely had enough the non stop violence. I'm sick of it. Maybe it is a wacky suggestion but we need some new ideas.

Something has to change!!!

I'm sick of of it too. I think your suggestion is completely impractical but I understand the idea behind it.

Omlettes · 19/08/2024 21:42

Alucard55 · 19/08/2024 21:34

I'm not suggesting a curfew. I think that's madness. I also think it's very worrying that a woman is more likely to be harmed by the male person she shares a home with than the "weirdo in the bushes". The fact remains that 98% of sexual and violent crime is committed by men, more often than not by the men we share our lives with. That's the reality for women and children.

Yet I dont live with men as so many dont, and I have been violently assaulted and threatened on the street and in public places 5 times and that does not include insults cat calls and public humilliations

Differentstarts · 19/08/2024 21:43

twojumps · 19/08/2024 21:35

I've just genuinely had enough the non stop violence. I'm sick of it. Maybe it is a wacky suggestion but we need some new ideas.

Something has to change!!!

I think spending time on mumsnet you can see how desperate some women are and what they put up with from partners so maybe start their

Uglyandgrumpy · 19/08/2024 21:44

Wheelz46 · 19/08/2024 21:32

It would never work, how would it be managed. Would it be all males or would you exempt emergency services?

What about a woman who goes into labour and needs her male partner to take her to the hospital, would they become exempt?

What if your kid injures themselves and need to go to the hospital and their father is the sole carer, would they be exempt?

What if you got stuck in a traffic jam past your curfew?

An endless list of possibilities!

Yes, or you wanted a takeaway from the local kebab shop delivering, they are 95% male workers and the delivery drivers are 100% male where I'm from, scrub the hypothetical discussion at once. Ffs

Omlettes · 19/08/2024 21:45

I have to say there are some very literal posters on this thread tredding out the same old tired lines.
Its amazing we ever get anything done throughh petty argumentation and derailing, that is if they are women at all...

Omlettes · 19/08/2024 21:46

Uglyandgrumpy · 19/08/2024 21:44

Yes, or you wanted a takeaway from the local kebab shop delivering, they are 95% male workers and the delivery drivers are 100% male where I'm from, scrub the hypothetical discussion at once. Ffs

Or you could F Off off our site.
How flippin ironic you are eh?

Differentstarts · 19/08/2024 21:47

Omlettes · 19/08/2024 21:46

Or you could F Off off our site.
How flippin ironic you are eh?

Our site. who's site?

Uglyandgrumpy · 19/08/2024 21:47

Omlettes · 19/08/2024 21:46

Or you could F Off off our site.
How flippin ironic you are eh?

Lol😂

Everyoneesleistheproblem · 19/08/2024 21:48

FiddlyDiddlyDee · 19/08/2024 21:29

Ok so instead of certain types of men roughing each other up at football matches, they go off and find other outlets for their violent tendencies? Like, I don't know, women?

Any other good suggestions?

I mentioned sport to illustrate how men are very much able to control their own culture should they chose to. They choose to at one and not the other.

Everyone has mentioned all the lovely non violent men they know. So "violent tendencies" are clearly a choice.

With other undesirable behaviours we make them illegal and socially unacceptable. It is clearly still acceptable to many that men are entitled, aggressive, thugs.

Againname · 19/08/2024 21:50

@Omlettes I agree something needs to be done including on the increase in violent crime outside the home. However a curfew for all men isn't the answer. Not least but not only because, as referred to in the article you posted, a big problem regarding VAWG is DV. Which happens in the home.

The issue is societal breakdown and failing and underfunded public services. This is what needs to be tackled in order to reduce violent crime, rather than unhelpful and divisive knee jerk gimmicks that increase resentment (and increase risk with DV), and do nothing to actually tackle the underlying causes and problems.

Resources? Violent crime, including indirect consequences, costs the economy billions. Money is spent on mopping up the aftermath and dealing with the impact too late. A lot of that money could be spent instead on good, effective and well-funded public services - and it needs to be holistic, not a few selected services working in isolation of each other.

This includes: social services, mental health services, probation services, CPS and policing, libraries, playgrounds, youth clubs, improved CMS system, substance issue services, non punitive benefits system, improved NHS, more social housing, and job, education, and training opportunities.

Sounds like a big task and a lot of money but it doesn't have to be. It can happen and could start happening very quickly, if people wanted. It would save money anyway longer term but also it's worth it for a safer and more cohesive society.

FiddlyDiddlyDee · 19/08/2024 21:54

Everyoneesleistheproblem · 19/08/2024 21:48

I mentioned sport to illustrate how men are very much able to control their own culture should they chose to. They choose to at one and not the other.

Everyone has mentioned all the lovely non violent men they know. So "violent tendencies" are clearly a choice.

With other undesirable behaviours we make them illegal and socially unacceptable. It is clearly still acceptable to many that men are entitled, aggressive, thugs.

Edited

Violence is a disease of the human species, but according to you, it's a choice

I read your post like Trump suggesting people inject bleach into themselves to cure Covid.

Unless you're a prominent scientist working in this field, your opinion isn't really worth much, and I doubt one would think they have any solutions either.

Lack of self awareness is another disease of the human species by the way.

Alucard55 · 19/08/2024 22:02

Omlettes · 19/08/2024 21:42

Yet I dont live with men as so many dont, and I have been violently assaulted and threatened on the street and in public places 5 times and that does not include insults cat calls and public humilliations

I'm sorry to hear that. I think every woman has her own experiences and degrees of male violence and inappropriate behavior. I'm not terrified to be outside but I am sick of entitled men and their actions.

Alucard55 · 19/08/2024 22:03

Differentstarts · 19/08/2024 21:40

And I answered for violent crime was 80% male 20% female then I was asked well what's the statistics for this and that and this. I'm not Google

Anyway I think we can agree that men are the more violent sex.

Differentstarts · 19/08/2024 22:09

Alucard55 · 19/08/2024 22:03

Anyway I think we can agree that men are the more violent sex.

Absolutely but saying all men is wrong

Alucard55 · 19/08/2024 22:11

Differentstarts · 19/08/2024 22:09

Absolutely but saying all men is wrong

I've never once said all men are sexual predators. My point is we can't tell the difference between the good decent men and the sexual predators just by looking.

Gsyllama · 19/08/2024 22:16

twojumps · 19/08/2024 18:17

We kept curfew for Covid. Cant we do it for women?

What do you suggest to tackle ongoing male violence?

Covid lockdowns were the ONLY time I felt unsafe out by myself in the evening - it was like all the people who followed rules were at home and the local park (and town centre) got a lot more creepy.
If I get a rare evening out now, I would quite like it to be with my husband or male friends /mixed group rather than have the OP deciding that I can only meet females friends on Wednesdays. Sorry, no badminton /running /whatever club for you, it's curfew day. A lot of women would suddenly be under effective curfew too and obviously no point businesses being open that night, so nowhere to go

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 19/08/2024 22:22

saraclara · 19/08/2024 20:27

So if we disagree with the OP, we're men?

Good grief.

Usually how it works on MN tbh
If you don't follow the "sisterhood" you're a man 🙄

saltinesandcoffeecups · 19/08/2024 22:30

How is this not sexist? Asking for a friend…

5128gap · 19/08/2024 22:39

HelloMiss · 19/08/2024 21:08

@5128gap

Shinyandnew1
So, whilst all the men have to be inside at night, who will be patrolling the streets checking they aren’t out?

Men with a special government issued lanyard, and a high viz jacket with 'keyworker' on the back?

How would the recruitment of these men work? How would they be vetted ? Same way as police officers are?

I wasn't being serious. I thought the lanyard part was ridiculous enough to show I was being absurd. However given this is a thread of rather extreme suggestions, perhaps I should have anticipated I'd be taken seriously. No, I don't really think we could impose a curfew in this way. I don't think we should impose one at all.

XenoBitch · 19/08/2024 22:42

Ha, spend an evening in my town centre. The women there are scary (as in drug addicts etc). I would still feel unsafe if no men were around.

Differentstarts · 19/08/2024 22:45

Alucard55 · 19/08/2024 22:11

I've never once said all men are sexual predators. My point is we can't tell the difference between the good decent men and the sexual predators just by looking.

You also can't tell that by looking at women so we have to be mindful use our senses, trust our gut and realise most people are good

Differentstarts · 19/08/2024 22:47

XenoBitch · 19/08/2024 22:42

Ha, spend an evening in my town centre. The women there are scary (as in drug addicts etc). I would still feel unsafe if no men were around.

I'm from a very male family and iv been arrested more times then any of them put together (I'm female)

Omlettes · 19/08/2024 22:47

Againname · 19/08/2024 21:50

@Omlettes I agree something needs to be done including on the increase in violent crime outside the home. However a curfew for all men isn't the answer. Not least but not only because, as referred to in the article you posted, a big problem regarding VAWG is DV. Which happens in the home.

The issue is societal breakdown and failing and underfunded public services. This is what needs to be tackled in order to reduce violent crime, rather than unhelpful and divisive knee jerk gimmicks that increase resentment (and increase risk with DV), and do nothing to actually tackle the underlying causes and problems.

Resources? Violent crime, including indirect consequences, costs the economy billions. Money is spent on mopping up the aftermath and dealing with the impact too late. A lot of that money could be spent instead on good, effective and well-funded public services - and it needs to be holistic, not a few selected services working in isolation of each other.

This includes: social services, mental health services, probation services, CPS and policing, libraries, playgrounds, youth clubs, improved CMS system, substance issue services, non punitive benefits system, improved NHS, more social housing, and job, education, and training opportunities.

Sounds like a big task and a lot of money but it doesn't have to be. It can happen and could start happening very quickly, if people wanted. It would save money anyway longer term but also it's worth it for a safer and more cohesive society.

Edited

Yes Yes Yes I know about violence at home thank you very much, already adressed that.
I disagree, if a curfew for women after Everard is called for, and a virtual curfew for women enacted during the Yorkshire ripper, then yes dammit I too call for a curfew on men.
Sick of the reasonable doormat approach, that you never hear from men.

Differentstarts · 19/08/2024 22:48

saltinesandcoffeecups · 19/08/2024 22:30

How is this not sexist? Asking for a friend…

It is and i can't believe mumsnet is allowing it