Is this appropriate? As I would never do that.

[nocarbsandsugareveragain]

Ok we all know each other from kids school(myself and partner and the other couple - couple B)

I have gone out the other lady and some other mother a few times. She is like a school mum friend to me (not close)

Our kids are in the same class and are friends

Go to same clubs etc DS just started the football club in the last few weeks so DH is now on what's app group of the football club and I am not. This is how she (of couple B) is got DH's number.

DH does not talk much at all and only know the couple on a hello hi bases

DH just told me she's privately messaged him asking him if he can take their son to football next week because they are going to a funeral and of course he's said yes. I don't have an issue but I am thinking I would never do that in a million years, message someone else's husband or partner privately asking for anything. I would have messaged the lady asking her to ask her DH if he can help get their child the club. Or is it because she knows I don't ever got to the club?
Or am being unreasonable and that's the way things are done here? Sorry I am from a different background and culture

Well that’s a bit of a spanner 😂😂😂

I was properly brought up too, granny was in charge, she’d be appalled if I had to go through anyone’s wife for permission for anything.

I can only imagine that if you were so "properly brought up" that you can't countenance talking to someone of the opposite sex, the mere thought of talking to someone in a same-sex couple would bring on an attack of the vapours.

YABU she’s asking for a lift for her son so she can go to a funeral, she’s hardly being inappropriate. Your DH is the one in the WhatsApp and the one who would be giving the lift.

I’m more horrified about the ‘wrote him’, rather that ‘wrote to him’, ‘where are my smelling salts’ she shrieked.

Oh, I needed this tonight, thank you @nocarbsandsugareveragain 😂

This post was sarcasm OP - of course it’s absolutely fine for her to msg your DH if he is the one who is in the WhatsApp group for football and does all the football related stuff with DC.

A couple of times I messaged a male neighbour to ask a totally reasonable question. Both times his wife texted me back from her own phone “thanks for texting [DH], the answer is [*], he’s very busy with me and the children at the weekends and has no spare time”. I thought it said a lot about their marriage to be honest and we moved shortly after 🤣

What are you worried about then? I took it that you're worried she's making a move.

Gosh that’s a bit 1930s isn’t it. Why wpuld it be inappropriate to ask the dad.

Just to shock some of the PP, I thought I'd let you know that I'm about to WhatsApp a man (is he married? Ladies, I don't even know) to ask about Scout places. I hope I don't accidentally slip and fall onto his penis.@

Harlot 💃

It's strange in mumsnet land how men and women can't be friends, colleagues, do a sport together without someone getting paranoid

And boasting about it online. Have you no shame at all?

Shame, shame, shame. I'd put money on once you're done conducting this sordid little affair via WhatsApp you'll be targeting the group Arkela..

Disgusting behaviour

You are not being unreasonable in the least. For the people who are properly brought up, there are certain rules - you do not contact a married man/woman privately. End of. Not on. You go through the spouse of the same sex. Certainly there are rules

oh gosh, I’m bisexual. I can’t talk to ANYONE (rocks)

Don’t worry, the ban is only in place if they are married. If you are properly brought up you will establish the marital status of any man or woman you meet before you talk to them privately. Didn’t your mama teach you this?

Stop all conversations immediately if they are married and tell them you can only continue speaking to their spouse. It’s really not that difficult!

I also worked with a man who ho felt it was disloyal to his wife to go for dinner with another woman. So when on work trips if we are in the hotel he would insist we sit at separate tables😂.

Most places we traveled to were big cities so I would take myself off exploring in any case - but occasionally it was airport hotels and he refused to dine or have a drink with me in the evening😂. One memorable occasion had us as the only guests I. The dinignroom sitting at separate tables

I often flatter myself that he must have thought he would be powerless to my powerful female charms😊. Or perhaps he was deluded enough to think we was irresistible.

My 7 year old has a little friend and I have both parents numbers. The entirety of my conversation with the dad is like this:

Me: back in twenty minutes if that's ok
Him: 👍🏻

And

Me: hi do you mine dropping round Joe's car seat as I don't have a spare
Him: there in 5 minutes

It is thrilling, illicit stuff. Hope DH never finds out.

I agree it's polite to ask the person who'd be doing it directly. Why should the woman be sorting it all.

I don't see as an issue whatsoever. I assume she msg him as his number was on the group?

That is ridiculous and silly & very funny 🤣 🤣 and I can just picture him sitting at the table looking only at his food unable to turn his head to look around just in case he catches a glimpse of you 🤣🤣

but then some have already said my post is ridiculous 🤷🏽‍♀️

My take is this lady does not talk to DH at all only walk past each other or see each other occasionally and say hello, hi but then I see people's point about the fact that I don't go to the club etc.

I am not a controlling person as mentioned by someone, I don't even have the time for that.
There is no enough hours in a day for me as controlling someone needs time and energy which I don't have for that at all.

Now myself and DH have other friends who are couples and I wouldn't even wonder or think why is she contacting DH if of our couple friends wife decide to contact him because we are all friends.🤷🏽‍♀️

Now is not that I am thinking that she wants to start something inappropriate etc if she does, she is welcomed to him 🤣 at least she can take over my "man headaches" I found it awkward and was asking if it's the norm in this culture

It is not about affairs or controlling or female assistant etc

My DH does DD3's dance classes - I would not be impressed if people started messaging me to ask him to help them out.

I'm not his secretary.

IMO it would also be rude toward to him to imply that he needs my permission to speak to them or do their favour. He's my husband, not my possession.

Not unreasonable at all! In fact, what I find quite unreasonable is the fact that you seem to think that women should be personal secretaries for their husbands and micromanage their lives. I imagine you already take on the majority of the life mental load, and maybe this thread will be a wake up call for you to start to address that.

And because they have a funeral to attend.

good lord

What? Why would it be a problem?