Is this appropriate? As I would never do that.

[nocarbsandsugareveragain]

Ok we all know each other from kids school(myself and partner and the other couple - couple B)

I have gone out the other lady and some other mother a few times. She is like a school mum friend to me (not close)

Our kids are in the same class and are friends

Go to same clubs etc DS just started the football club in the last few weeks so DH is now on what's app group of the football club and I am not. This is how she (of couple B) is got DH's number.

DH does not talk much at all and only know the couple on a hello hi bases

DH just told me she's privately messaged him asking him if he can take their son to football next week because they are going to a funeral and of course he's said yes. I don't have an issue but I am thinking I would never do that in a million years, message someone else's husband or partner privately asking for anything. I would have messaged the lady asking her to ask her DH if he can help get their child the club. Or is it because she knows I don't ever got to the club?
Or am being unreasonable and that's the way things are done here? Sorry I am from a different background and culture

Jeez back to the 50's 🤣 No one needs permission to speak to someone's spouse. I'd actually be annoyed if someone wasted my time contacting my DH through me, I've enough to do without managing his interactions.

I’d find it strange myself, if they talk constantly then no but if you’re the one who talks to her I’d expect her to ask you

I'd ask whichever patent does the taking.

Thinking about it my friend's husband has messaged me. But only because it was about something that happened in a game and he's one of the coaches.

If it's just about arrangements I can't see an issue.

She didn’t ask him if he wanted a blow job in return for the lift OP so I think you can stand down …

I think it's lovely that she contacted your DH instead of assuming this is your job because you're a woman. She wanted your DH to help so she asked him directly instead of adding to your mental load.

This doesn't make sense to me, when the husband is the one on the WhatsApp group. I would always message the person designated by their family as the person in charge of an activity. Doing otherwise feels almost disrespectful of their own ordering, like I've decided to impose an extra job on the wife irrespective of how they as a family have allocated their jobs or activities.

In the past I've had male partners of friends or DC's friends message me saying hi I'm taking X to the park if you and (my DC) want to come too. I've never thought twice about it, and now I'm just happy that my female friends aren't treated as secretaries.

It’s entirely appropriate! My DD is friends with a girl and her Dad messaged me when he had a PTA meeting to ask if I could drop her home because they were at the same club and he knew I usually took her. Complete non issue!!

Unless she also attached a picture of her boobs yabu.

😂😂😂

So she's got your dh's number, and your dh is the one involved with the club her ds needs a lift to?

Would be weird for her to message you about that imo.

What if it’s a same sex couple….

OP, what is the background/culture you are from where (I assume) it would be frowned upon for a woman to do this?

I don’t think the school mum did anything wrong but there are plenty of women on MN who would lose their minds if another woman messaged their husband under any circumstances. In their telling, it is impossible for a man and woman to engage in any kind of contact without it leading to an affair. I have a friend, married for 25 years, who proudly boasts she deleted all male friends as soon as she married and has never had a male friend since as it would be ‘completely inappropriate’.

Absolutely no issue. Why would you think it is? I would do it without question and I wpuld expect others to contact me in the same fashion

Only men can talk to men and women to women? What kind of extreme religious, dictatorship are we living in?

How refreshing it is not to read about a woman being treated like her partner's secretary, hurrah 😀

So what is the difference between the parents messaging you, or DH? DH goes to the club so in her shoes I would message DH, why would I burden you with it if you never go to the football and aren't involved with the club?

Are you from a culture where it is not seen as appropriate for a woman to talk to a man?

If someone messaged me asking if my husband could sort a lift I'd tell them to message him 😅

Omg the harlot, the strumpet, the utter Jezebel! How dare she have the audacity to message a fellow parent about a lift for her child to football?! She's trying to get her mitts on your man, I think you need to take urgent action.

Name and shame her in the WhatsApp group is my best advice, all of the other parents parents must be urgently informed there is a village hussy on the rampage!

If a woman messaged me to ask if MrG could do her a favour then I'd just tell her to ask him herself (and give her his number if she didn't have it). I am not his social secretary/message service. If he subsequently told me that he was off to change a lightbulb/walk her dog/pick up her kids from school, I'd assume that's what he was doing. I am such an innocent, eh?

In return, I expect him to treat me as an autonomous adult and not assume that any casual chat I have with a male acquaintance suggests that we are planning some sort of assignation.

I wouldn’t read anything dodgy into it.

Your husband is the nominated parent on the football WhatsApp, and she has contacted him on a football related matter.

EVERYTHING child-related goes through me, and I would be delighted if another parent contacted my husband directly rather than use me as a go-between, and thus create an extra task for me.

i think she was being considerate.

Annoyed???

I never said I was annoyed did I?
Pls kindly read my 2 posts again
Thank you

Oh really? I can't recall stating anything about they having an affair in my original post or that I am worried that they are.

I was properly brought up, by a nurse & a policeman! Brought up so 'properly' that they managed to instil in me the ability to speak to men without getting my Fanny out. Are you saying that you can't speak to a man without getting your Fanny out? And if your husband gets a whatsapp message from a woman his Willy will just fall out of its holster without warning? Doesn't sound a very secure marriage if your can't converse with members of the opposite sex.

Goodness this happened to me once. When I was younger I performed somewhere on stage as a group. A chap from work said hi to me at the end as we worked together. I was like “oh hi, blah blah blah, who are you supporting and he pointed to his wife” I smiled and said bye.
At the end I was leaving and he and his wife were in the doorway. She was demanding to know who I was. My brother and my boyfriend (now husband) were with me. It was so fucking weird. I wonder if he had previous for cheating or something?

😂 @ramsayboltonshounds