Random stranger sat on my table at a dinner and tribute act show

[Prontehpronto]

Hi, I went to a dinner and ABBA tribute act tonight on my own (family out of town and no one else to go with). I was having a lovely time, a stranger asked if he could take the extra chair,I said yes cos I thought he was going to pick it up and take it, he proceeded to sit down! He asked why I was on my own,I said hubby was away and I thought I'd enjoy a show, he started telling me about his divorce etc, he was older, 62, seemed not weird and just overly friendly father like figure, but when the shoe carried on he didn't move!!! I said aren't your friends going to miss you, he was like its fine!! I ignored him and turned away, I'm pissed cos he didn't go away and plus I had paid extra for VIP tickets at a table at the front. His friend cane to give him a drink, I thought bloody hell no way,told him not to put the drink down on my table and can you go back with your friends. Bloody ruined my night abit, why did he do that, and how should I have handled it. He prob was harmless but he shouldn't have approached a lone female I don't think and then not gone away!!!

shuggles why are you blethering on this thread, bleating on and on about something you know nothing about?

As PP have said, you aren't listening and you don't know what you're talking about. It's rude in the extreme. Start a thread yourself so that posters can join you in your random views or ignore it altogether.

You're derailing this one. Could you stop please?

He's said he's a man on other threads.

You can't just demand who can and can't post on your thread though, that's ridiculous.
I'm in agreement with the OP on the original topic matter, I prefer be left in peace when out and not talked at, but not on the thread policing.

Ah ok, still entitled to an opinion on here though.
It's a discussion forum.
Not an echo chamber.

How can I dictate anything? That's ridiculous, I am just pointing out that particular poster was rude.

a) a man who
b) has never been in a relationship and
c) is telling women they're wrong about their own experiences

Not all opinions are worthwhile.

Agreed. And posters often try this when by other posters being "unhelpful" they mean "failing to valudate my insanely unreasonable position"

The OP's original point wasn't unreasonable- policing the thread is.

Can't we just have a discussion without the ridiculous "wah, man!" or personal attacks on posters just because we don't like what they're saying?!
It's so boring and predictable.
Far rather listen to the actual discussion than wannabe thread policers and whingers derailing when they hear something they don't like. 🙄

Fine - have it your own way. You're still trying to police the thread.

But we can just ignore the vacuous.

Basically if you go to a public event then the public may talk to you! It's not an offence. Now in this case maybe the old fella was lonely and I get thats not the OPs problem but unfortunately the choice of event left her like a sitting duck like on a bus. Nowhere to escape. Cinema would have been a more solitary option. Or she could have just told the fella to FRO from the outset. I can see why she'd be pissed off but it sounded like a Phoenix Nights cabaret club which attracts all kinds!

There's nothing wrong with starting a conversation with someone, as you say you've got to initially meet first and start somewhere!
Think the best way is to learn to read the cues - if someone says "won't your mates miss you?"
don't be like "no, it's fine" as probably usually means "can't you piss off back over there?!" 😁
Especially when it's coupled with turning their back on the person doing their chatting, they're clearly not wanting conversation.

Wtf why would it be? Has it ever occurred to you women may be single or widowed and still want to have a life?

Shuvie, it takes a very base level of (male) entitlement to plonk yourself where a woman is and expect her to entertain you. It's not a woman's job to do that. Ever.

Not all men are dunderheads and many can read signs very well indeed - even those that choose to override them and plough on regardless.

To suggest that women need to be armed and ready with a firm, verbal 'go away' instruction is awful really. Why the hell can we not just be left alone as a default?

Or in my case happily married with two teenage kids but still love going out to places by myself to shows, pubs, cinema, theatre, etc as I like my own space sometimes as well 😁

Now in this case maybe the old fella was lonely and I get thats not the OPs problem

He wasnt "lonely" though- he was literally with a group of his friends and deliberately left them to start wanging on to the OP about his divorce. I agree with PP, I dont know why older men always seem to think young women give a shit about them blathering on about their personal circumstances.. We dont care about some random older man's fcking divorce details. Why would we?

Lonely in the romantic sense, not the friendly sense. He probably did want to shoot his shot, the dirty old bugger.

With respect it's not women's problem if a poor man doesn't know which women it's ok to strike up random conversation with. Maybe they could look to join a club where they could meet ladies they have interests in common with? Then things would probably happen organically

Ah yes, true.

I cant imagine why he hung around after finding out she was married, he must have thought she was up for an affair. So bizarre and entitled

He was quite clearly hoping to pull.

The line “my husband…” is the clue here

Er no. Single, divorced and widowed women have just as much right to be annoyed by behaviour like this.

Christ alive, do it the old fashioned way
Via friends, in the pub, in a hobby group, at work. Why would anyone want to meet a random fucking man with absolutely no background?

Or if you must do it in a more modern way try dating apps. At least then you know the woman is open to meeting a man.

Does this really need explanation.

I don’t disagree. I just think a bloke who pushes for past knowing that a woman is married is absolute scum.

I've done loads of things on my own. Usually I don't bother talking to anyone because I'm naturally an introvert and loner anyway. The fact I never have to see them again is the only appeal. It's just if you're travelling to a concert you haven't been to, and you spot a group of women who clearly are going to the same concert-it's not a bad idea to try and strike up a conversation. Safer for me as well as a lone woman wandering London or somewhere. Last time I did it I could tell the women weren't exactly pleased to have me tagging along (just the short walk to the venue) so I held back and didn't bother walking with them anymore. My natural position is to think "I'm bothering people" though, so I'm hyper aware. But a lot of men clearly don't have that problem! I honestly won't be putting myself out there again though thanks to this thread.